The Man Crush

Let me get this on record and off my chest.

–         I love women…

–         I have never been involved in homosexual activities

–         I believe in each to their own

Now, can someone please help me define the official rules of a “Man Crush”?

Any guy who is not man enough to admit they have a man crush on a male celeb is either lying or quite simple a closet case gay dude.

I’ve been known on occasion to say stupid things for the sake of a response, but I’ve never denied my honesty in those statements.

For me, my biggest (yes there are more than one) man crush has and will always be Sir Johnny Depp.

The reasons? His essence of cool. His swagger. His view on life and career. His body of work. His glistening body (ok, the last one was a test to see if you freaked out)

For many a years Johnny Depp has been my idol, in every sense of the word. I want to be him. I want to be his friend. I want to be the guy who stands outside in the rain staring at his through his window. These are the dreams I have.

I do believe I would probably become a bumbling idiot if I ever were to meet him in person. Much like when a cute girl talks to you and the only word you can muster out is, “gooblahdee”.

If I were to make out with a dude in a movie, I’m pretty sure Johnny would be the only guy I could see myself with.

But I know I’m not the only heterosexual (that’s the one that means liking the opposite sex right?) who desires a famous male.

Kevin Smith

Heck even writer/director/”actor” Kevin Smith would wax lyrical about his man crush on Ben Affleck all day if you asked him about it.

However… there are some flaws in my man crush theory

1-     What happens when you have more than one guy crush? Because lets be honest… Ryan Reynolds is reason enough to question your lifestyle choice. Cool, funny, abs you would kill to have (even if just for the weekend), the guy is also a demi god. Is there a cut off number of guy crushes you can have before you are forced out of the closet due to space issues?

2-     What’s the rule of thumb (bad pun?) about have a man crush on a guy who is already openly gay? Adam Lambert gives me that funny feeling like when I used to climb the rope in gym class (copyright Waynes World). I had a “thing” for him during the very early stages of American Idol, before he became cool. Those I’ve chatted to know this for a fact. Now that he is about to become a SUPERSTAR, will he forget about me?…um…wait…he doesn’t know I exist right?

All this being said…would I realistically act upon a guy crush if the opportunity presented itself? Probably not… maybe…It’s not like it would make me gay right?

Sometimes I really wish I lived in ancient Greece or Egypt where there was no need to decide *sigh*

Haha….how uncomfortable are you the reader feeling right now? On a scale of 1-10

Now I know what some of you are thinking…but no, I do not need to find Jesus….

I’d love to hear opinions from you no matter how manly you are, or how limp wristed you may be.

I happen to have a plethora of very close gay friends who I’m sure would love to give their 2 cents.

Go on…indulge me.

PS. The movie Bruno was a masterclass is what i’m trying to say here


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19 Responses to “The Man Crush”

  1. Max Says:

    Love it!
    The POV from the male side :o)
    Seems to be ok for women to have women-crushes on female celebs – whether they want to be them, stalk them, kiss them, or whatever; so why not males too?!

  2. Chica Says:

    I think its a total turn-on when a straight guy can admit and embrace his “Man Crush(s)”. To be in touch with that part of yourself is very sexy and powerful and that’s extremely attractive to women. Now, if you start hanging posters and making secret shines in your closet then we may have a problem…but you can just come visit mine. Johnny and Adam are both there. 😉

  3. Chica Says:

    Ok..that was suppose to read “secret shrine” ..but you knew that. lol

  4. Silk1013 Says:

    What a refreshing honest and beautiful article, much like Adam himself ..LOL.. I think it is a real turn on that a man can be in touch with that side of himself and be open and strong about it. We all have both sides inside of us, but the rules of society can really squash that and give us all these phobes and complexities. I say bravo to you !! This is a real human being here!! I am a straight whitel female 33 yrs.old , just so you know!!

  5. Write is Right « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] pick me up this evening when I stumbled onto a forum that was discussing one of my blogs at large (The Man Crush). Several people chipped in with “this guy is hilarious!”, which is the best thing a writer […]

  6. HLK Says:

    Women have girl crushes all the time and it’s never a big deal. I wonder why lol?

  7. Bruce K Says:

    Dude, I call it a bromance. I’m having a bromance with Tom Brady. My wife knows it, my family knows it. I agree with your choices of Johnny Depp, Adam Lambert and Ryan Reynolds. Depp and Lambert have a coolness factor and Reynolds is funny. So do you think my friends and family would get freaked out if I added posters of Depp, Lambert and Reynolds to the ones of have of Brady in my game room? I could get away with Brady easily because what guy doesn’t like football? But when you start adding actors and singers it gets a little dicey.

  8. staciegirlie Says:

    That’s really cool you can discuss your feelings. You’re brave enough to keep it real. Johnny Depp is the best actor ever and Glam-rock god, Adam is the best singer ever.

  9. georgie Says:

    “Is there a cut off number of guy crushes you can have before you are forced out of the closet due to space issues?”

    LOLOL! I don’t get the Ryan Reynolds thing at all but Lambert & Depp rock my world. My top two crushes are on gay men–Adam Lambert & Neil Patrick Harris. Does this make me a gay man, because last I checked I was missing some requisite equipment.

  10. SeenZ Says:

    LOL OK I loved this. Kudos to you on writing this. It’s always a pleasure to see a man not afraid to express his feelings, even though many may consider them to be gay, blasphemy or whatever. Adam would be proud of you 😉 But he belongs to me, understand?

  11. Cordula Says:


  12. Norma Says:

    too funny – sending this to my husband – I have girl crushes :o)

  13. I hates gays 69 Says:

    man crushes are gay. period.

  14. fckin gay deal wth it ppl Says:

    I have like so many man crushes, and like im so into men.

  15. JellyBee Says:

    I do believe you might be coming out of the closet soon. I admire Angelina Jolie for her beauty, talent, and her love of people in general. I think she’s a great person (except for what she did to Jen) and in that way I have a girl-crush on her. But I’m not admiring her boobs/ass and I don’t get hot in the crouch when I see her. If you’re getting a funny feeling when you look at Adam Lambert, I think you need to come to some realities.

  16. Blah Says:

    This is hyper-homophobic. Get off yourself.

  17. Mary Says:

    I think I get you.
    My male friend has a man crush on our shared Dentist- because he once made a phone call to his house after hours to check on his well-being. Seriously.

  18. ChaseK8 Says:

    I loved reading this, well written, very funny, it made my day!!!

  19. Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 2: The Weird, Whacky And Wise! « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] The Man Crush Responsibly for almost a third of my total hits, The Man Crush blog got a huge boost of traffic thanks to the controversies that surround the like of Adam Lambert and Kevin Smith’s airline fiasco. It was just the right blog up at the right time. One of the favourites amongst readers, even those guys who thought me just a tad gayer for writing it. […]

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