The Guy with The Awesome Personality

Why is it that guys never talk about certain things?
Surely it would be so much easier if we could just put the ego in a little box and address problems that the fairer sex talk about every day of the week.

No, I’m not talking about a visit from Aunt Flo…besides she’s on a business trip and won’t be back till January.

Last weekend I went shopping for some new threads (see there is a manly way of saying feminine things), and I was forced into one of those scenarios where I had a new shirt which looked like it would fit, but to be sure I would have to actually try it on.

I hate going into those fitting rooms. It’s just down right creepy.
But, I put my fears aside and did it…I took off my layers of shirts and jerseys to try on the shirt, and before I could get the new one on, I was faced by three mirrors displaying my girth in all its glory. It was a truly embarrassing site. Not just one mirror image of my disgusting body… but three! While I kept thinking to myself “Shoot the middle one!”, I was deeply saddened about the images I saw before me (and around me).

I was fat. Disgustingly so.
Sure its something I’ve always known, and treated with a sense of humour. (“Hey I could be Will Ferrell’s body double”). That day, I was really embarrassed by my weight, more so than ever before.

The new shirt didn’t fit. It wasn’t even close.

I did buy some new clothes however, and proudly wore them in the last week… feeling good, and being able to hide my absolute embarrassment about my body and shattered confidence pretty well.

Then on Friday, we had a team building function that required us to make a movie (more on that in a later blog). My silly idea was that I strip down to my wife beater shirt for my role (you know those white sleeveless shirts).

Again I was able to hide my self loathing due to the nature of the day’s tasks, because I was in my element.

Then after filming, I watched myself on the video playback… I wasn’t embarrassed by what I was doing or saying in the movie…but I was shattered about how I looked…from my gut, to my love handles to my oversized @ss. If I was going for the “overweight redneck who works at a seedy hotel” look, I nailed it.

I found myself looking at those around me to see if they were seeing what I was seeing. I was positive they were, but were just too nice to say anything, that’s how people are. We rather save it for behind your back.

I’m embarrassed about my weight, and it’s always been an issue. The saddest part is I’ve actually lost a lot of weight this month thanks to the grim reaper’s visit with his delivery of Tick Bite Fever. So all I’ve been hearing this month from people is “you’ve lost weight”.

How fat was I before I got sick then????

Am I the only guy out there who feels he has weight issues? Do the rest of you guys just keep it to yourself while you try to squeeze into your replica SA Rugby team shirt every weekend?

I’m saddened I’ve let myself get this way, but I’m probably even sadder that I know it and still don’t do anything about it.

The discomfort I feel in my everyday life is a direct cause of my weight. Pains, cramps, shortness of breath after tying my shoes, walking up stairs or simply getting up in the morning.

Does it take more confidence and strength to not feel embarrassed by how you look or to actually lose weight?

Have I just made myself completely unappealing to the female race?

Weight issues suck so much.

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5 Responses to “The Guy with The Awesome Personality”

  1. Brett Schewitz Says:

    funnily enough I was at a braai today and I noticed to overweight guys (quite overweight) with very pretty girls and it made me realise that you get to a point where that doesn’t really count I guess. These guys are stellar gents. I’d date them if I could 😛

  2. The Burg Says:

    its a comfort level though isnt it… I dont feel comfortable with my weight and image at all, and thats where the change needs to come from

  3. Sugafoot Says:

    Burg, I reckon it comes down to 2 things:

    1: Is it affecting your health..
    2: Does it make you feel crappy..

    I would say if either of these are yes especially number 1 then I would say take the plunge and try do something about it.. I have recently noticed that I have put on some weight (yeah those skinny-ish jeans fit like spandex on a sperm whale), I have also done absolutely nothing about it, but when I feel the love handles moving around when I walk it really eats me, but the all too knowing fact about all of this is that it lies with you… when I was in some kind of physical shape I can tell you now I had no back ache and I felt really good, who cares what others think, what you think counts more than you can imagine, its not vanity but sanity papi …. my 2 cents … oh yeah and the back pain is back….

    • The Burg Says:

      Totally guy…i soooo intimidated to get into shape myself
      i know i been saying it for ages though
      ive been this way since my career ending broken ankle…

  4. Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 3: Surviving Love & Life « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] The Guy with The Awesome Personality OF course guys have body issues. I swim in a t-shirt for a reason. This is the blog guys don’t want you to read. […]

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