Alexander Graham Bell Ruined My Life

There is possibly no other inanimate object I hate more than the telephone. (Lindsay Lohan’s firecrotch doesn’t count)

I seriously hate everything about it. The device, the sound it makes, even the way it stares at you.

I may have mentioned in the past how I haven’t even had a ringtone on my cell phone (or mobile phone for you international readers) for over four years. It’s been on silent. This means I probably quite simply miss your call, or plain ignore it.

Don’t take it personally. I just try and avoid the phone at any cost.

And of course to go along with that, comes the new conundrum of sms and chat. I love that…I really do, but I need to use the actual phone to do that…damn that mother truckin’ Alexander Graham Bell. This is his fault you know.

Anways, I’ve always knew why I detested the device so much.

It’s two fold really.

Back when I was younger, the ringing of a phone brought only bad news….death. That kinda thing traumatizes one, you know. Answering that phone and being told that someone had just died is probably one of the worst things you can hear (the other being “you should of said I need five to make a million sorry we can’t make you a winner”)….

The irony of my kryptonite was that my job for the next 8 years after high school would be working in a call centre. It breaks a person apart. They say only certain people can work on a helpdesk…I always thought so too…but looking back now, I know those 8 years will forever have me in its power….freak you Bell.

I feel for peopleon helpdesks…its not easy….so take it easy on em folks…they are human beings….except for those @sses over at FNB Loans.

I don’t answer my phone if I can help it, and recently I went a good few weeks without it and realized I didn’t miss it one bit. In fact I think my voice mail is full…

I wonder if that is the reason I don’t date haha….maybe….if you’re a girl…and you’ve received a phone call from me….like ever, well then i really like you….seriously. If you’re a guy…well then my car has probably broken down and sms will take too long.

It’s one of the hardest things for me to do…I become like an ADD victim when I even attempt to dial.

I dial, cancel, dial, cancel, and so on…

It’s so painful you have no idea.

I’m trying to slowly build up my phoning ability….but its gonna take some time, so bare with me ok?

That my friends is my phobia, so don’t judge me….there are other things you can make fun of instead….like my love for Wizards of Waverly Place.

Teen sitcoms rule!

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6 Responses to “Alexander Graham Bell Ruined My Life”

  1. Susanne Weber Says:

    There is a word for that, telephonophobia! It’s a listed phobia, so you can’t be the only one!
    🙂

  2. The Art of The Phone Conversation… « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] already discussed at length why I hate the phone (a blog you will find here), but now I’d like to address why certain people shouldn’t be allowed within a 100 yards of a […]

  3. Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 1: Rants & Opinions « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] Alexander Graham Bell Ruined My Life I hate the telephone, and now you know why. […]

  4. MJ Says:

    Is there a name for a phobia of zombies?

  5. The Burg Says:

    indeed there is…. Kinemortophobia

  6. Sumeshnee Says:

    LOL I love Wizards of Waverly Place! And agree with you on the whole phone thing. The current generation is so obsessed with it, it’s insane! But not just the young and going to be our future generation. Everyone living in this space and time! I have more difficulties with 35-ish year old and 50-ish year old people who are busy on their phones and not paying attention to traffic. Youngsters seem to manage walking across a street while BBM’ing quite easy – well until someone gets knocked and a protest is placed against drivers who drive above 10km in a “BBM’ing lane of the road”.

    Anyways, fab post!

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