The Burg List – 101 Things to Do Before I Expire

I’m discussed at length over the last few months about how many of my nine lives I’ve used up recently, but it’s never been in a self pitying manner. If anything it simply serves to inspire me to continue this amazing adventure that you all have know to know as Burgs life.

Its in that vain I proudly bring to you

And if legend has its way, that will be on November 11th, next year!

The below list is typically me, and nobody should take offensive to anything I mention. However, that being said, as ludicrous (Luda-WHAT?) as it may sound, these are simply my honest thoughts.

The ranking is not an indication of priority, but simply to keep count.

Are you ready? LET’S GO!

1 – Live and work in New York

2 – Find the world’s greatest cup of coffee, even if I have to try them all

3 – Get involved in a random dance battle

4 – See Aerosmith in concert

5 – Take Leona Lewis out on a date, and woo her.

6 – Visit a forgotten civilization and say “Hey, I remember you!”

7 – Taste a great home made pasta…

8 – Get a six pack (even just for the weekend)

9 – Play strip poker – with other people this time.

10 – Bowl a perfect 300 game at 10pin bowling.

11 – Scuba dive

12 – Have my own custom made jacket that everyone envies

13 – Donate a large some of charity, then mysteriously tell the media that I did it.

14 – Own a ridiculously cool, yet highly impractical fish tank

15 – Take on an Indian lover (preferably female!)

16 – Run This town.

17 – Be a mall security guard for day

18 – Win a political election, and then turn it down.

19 – Meet James Franco, have scones with him, and discuss finance.

20 – Read The Catcher in The Rye

21 – Compete in Ninja Warrior

22 – Pretend to be Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago for one day.

23 – Ride a horse into town.

24 – Make out with an albino.

25 – Learn 4 languages, Spanish, Italian, Hindi and whatever they speak in Cape Town

26 – Share a great adventure with someone I’ve never met.

27 – Help someone achieve 1 thing on their bucket list

28 – Slap Steve Martin for remaking Pink Panther

29 – Kick Steve Martin in the nuts for making Pink Panther 2

30 – Ask one city “how the %&@ are you doing tonight?” over a microphone.

31 – Have a cameo on Family Guy

32 – Visit Canada

33 – Get my arms completely tattooed

34 – Have a wild Mexican adventure that I’m not allowed to talk about.

35 – Win an Oscar and propose to someone during my acceptance speech.

36 – Get thrown through a glass window

37 – Take part in a Jackass skit.

38 – Have my own posse that includes a giant, a bald midget and a French lady

39 – Write and publish a fiction book, and complete my autobiography.

40 – Experience a Roman Holiday

41 – Show someone the impossible

42 – Leave someone breathless (with the aid of a plastic bag)

43 – Share a scene with Johnny Depp

44 – Have a GOOD sex tape leaked on line

45 – Feel love reciprocated

46 – Under a pseudonym, become a hated columnist

47 – Tell Ashley Tisdale “I think we’re moving too fast”

48 – Tell Selena Gomez “I think we’re stuck in a rut”

49 – Drink a cocktail in Hawaii, and only there.

50 – Meet the female version of myself

51 – Attend a monkey’s wedding.

52 – Watch an American Football game in person.

53 – Visit Asia

54 – Have my own action figure

55 – Get into a fighting defending someone’s honour

56 – Star in a Bollywood dance scene.

57 – Experience a white Christmas. And then one with snow.

58 – Learn the guitar…for real this time.

59 – Paint a female nude (as in a portrait, not with body paint)

60 – Bring back VCRs

61 – Make one appearance on a WWE televised event.

62 – Organize a music festival called Burg Stock.

63 – Go on a boat cruise.

64 – Wrestle a bear

65 – Attend a parade…that doesn’t have the words “gay” or “pride” in it

66 – Have lazer eye surgery.

67 – Seduce someone with a sexy dance.

68 – Have Jessica Alba and Salma Hayek get into a fight over me

69 – Record a novelty song that makes it to #2 on the UK charts.

70 – Watch a soccer game in every country that plays it professionally.

71 – Tell someone “You sir, are a douchebag”

72 – Complete a game of Sudoku on hard.

73 – Develop and co-host “Burgs of a Feather” – a battle of the sexes type game show

74 – Be mistaken for being 18.

75 – Help someone realize their true beauty

76 – Star in a film set in the days of King Arthur

77 – Grow the world’s coolest beard….again.

78 – Open a 1920’s themed club called “Burgz” – the sign will be in neon lights.

79 – Research & Film a segment for a BBC Wildlife series

80 – Compete in one cage fight.

81 – Own my own grand piano, and force myself to learn by ear.

82 – Attend a function with twins as my plus 1.

83 – Bury a hatchet.

84 – Marry a teenage bride

85 – Have relations with an old high school crush…again.

86 – Ride a tractor on a farm, wearing no shirt.

87 – Own the world’s greatest collection of movies.

88 – Treat someone to a trip to New York so that can understand my passion.

89 – Tell a stranger how beautiful she is, and just keep walking. (she must of course be hot)

90 – Jump off a cliff (hopefully into deep water)

91 – Have a picture taken of me wearing a Park Ranger’s outfit.

92 – Launch an online scavenger hunt show called – Burg Quest

93 – Get home insurance

94 – Visit my mentor in Australia.

95 – Start a hit internet show with a panel of experts analyzing fantasy matchups between pop culture action stars.

96 – Interrupt Kanye.

97 – Reform the Bionic Six….with 5 people.

98 – Compete on Survivor

99 – Attend all 4 tennis majors in my lifetime.

100 – Discover a new fruit

101 – Have a crowd chant my name in unison.

That’s it…for now.
If you can help me achieve any of these…please…put your name forward…you will be helping this boy live his dreams. Give now…and give generously.

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13 Responses to “The Burg List – 101 Things to Do Before I Expire”

  1. Hanna Maze Says:

    This is great! Love it!

  2. patissonne Says:

    I did a bucket list once too – mentally- and yes, just after the movie came out. We have some wishes in common 😉

  3. Susanne Weber Says:

    Fantastic! Instant fan of 3 and 6 already. Number 59, I’m a fan of body paint, but I get the whole Titanic scene! lol.
    And I thought you already have the worlds greatest movie collection! lol!

    If you pull off all 101 things, you truly will be a G-O-D!!

  4. Tat Wolfen Says:

    #01, 10, 12, 16, 18, 23, 28, 29, 31, 35, 46, 50, 54, 60, 74, 81-84 incl., 88, : Amen!
    # 89 Started doing that as a kid; I’d walk up to grown women at wedding receptions and other such events, and just tell them if I thought they were beautiful…
    # 93 isn’t as much fun as you think…
    #100 By hitting him with your car?
    #101 Schweetal maneetal!!

  5. ChaseK8 Says:

    I love this I think I will write one of my own!!!

  6. Miranda Says:

    This list is super fun! I think ‘Run this town’ may be my favorite!!

  7. Jims Holmes Says:

    you are the greatest/Nice post

  8. Sublingual Vitamins : Says:

    i like body paints because it could be used to portray art using your own body`-‘

  9. Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 2: The Weird, Whacky And Wise! « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] The Burg List – 101 Things to Do Before I Expire Everybody has a bucket list. I, naturally have a Burg List. From the awkwardly honest, to the crazy person goal, to the most outlandish of needs, this list personified what I want to do in life, and made a lot of people blush along the way. If you can help with any…you know where to find me. […]

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