Stand up for Burg: 4 Months later – Hijacked and Trapped

What I remember the most about my hijacking just less than 4 months ago, was the concern everyone felt.

Are you ok? That’s unbelievable! You’re lucky!

What the whole event did for me was simply confirm what I have been feeling for many years.

I want out.

Out of (South) Africa.

I vocalized this in many ways, and stirred all sorts of emotions from people.

There were those that said what happened to me was because I was so negative about the country.

There were those that supported my feelings and tried turning it into a racial thing.

There were those that used what happen to me as a catalyst to get out of SA themselves.

Once the attention died down from the incident, everyone went on about their normal lives (as they should), but for me, every day has been harder than the next.

I have nightmares at least once a week. Sometimes about what happened, sometimes they are more abstract.

While the crime aspect of the country is a HUGE deal, it’s not my main motivation for wanting out.

My greatest fear is dying in this country – sure, but not through an act of crime. It’s from allowing the country to kill me because my dreams are far greater that the country allows them to be.

I am now at the point where I feel trapped by my own ambition.

A while back I made a comment on Facebook where I said I had put feelers out to New York.

A fact that was known to most everyone, and something I was always vocal about. However it was misunderstood to be I was unhappy in my job and wanted out. This put me into a serious doghouse which I’m still pretty certain I’m not out of yet.

I LOVE WHAT I DO.
I have one of the greatest jobs in the world (yes, except for Halle Berry’s lover.), but this is something I could and would want to do for a very long time.

My problem is, my life needs to begin.
For over 30 years my life has been filled with loss, heartache, pain, and struggle.
The memories and reminders of my life follow me around daily. From the roads I travel, to the place where I live. Add to this the surmounting problems in the country, and each day I am dying a little bit more.

I want to leave the country. But I don’t know how. Other than a transfer in my job, which nobody seems to take seriously, there are so few avenues for me to use.

Dramatic much? Sure. But this might have been a more casual conversation 10 years ago. But not at the age of 32.

I’ve seen two friends give it all up in the last 2 weeks, to follow that dream, and while I am so happy for them, I am so unequivocally jealous of them that I feel guilty.

But I don’t have the luxury of qualifying for certain visas and what not. I’m fighting the odds as I have always done.

It scares me. Sometimes to the point of where I just don’t believe its possible to make it happening.

Yes, New York is my first choice. But at this point I would be open to any sort of forward movement, whether it be London, Toronto, or even Vietnam.

Having nobody in my life (Ed’s note: Oh stop with the sob stories), this is the lonliest thing I have ever done, and that alone brings me to tears.

I don’t often ask people for anything (well, except for that one time I was poor), but if you can help…I urge you to:

Stand up for Burg.

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One Response to “Stand up for Burg: 4 Months later – Hijacked and Trapped”

  1. KiwiAfrica Says:

    Burg, ek het jou Hijacked and Trapped gelees . . . verskrielik. Ek kan net een ding se: Trek Ferreira, Anywhere that will have you. En daar is ander plekke as New York. Moenie dink vir nou nie, dink van 20 jaar se tyd. Zimbabwe was ook die Rainbow nation . . . .
    Sterkte, byt die riempie en kry ‘n plek waar jy weer kan LEWE in vrede.

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