My 100th Blog post: XoXoXo – My Feelings on Hugs & Kisses

As promised, this is a follow on blog to my recent dating dilemmas.

It was initially going to be posted as an amendment to my 99th blog post, but after writing it, it has all the qualities of a post worthy of being my 100th blog post.

One of the key things, especially in the process of any sort of budding romance is not just the ability to know when to make a move, but also how to read the outcomes of those moves.

It could be a simple hug, holding hands, touching of an arm, or even you are advanced enough a kiss of some sort.

All things I am very unfamiliar to. Let me explain why.

I come across to most people as a not a very physically affectionate kind of guy. Which, to a point is true, the reality however, is that affection is something I crave more than anything in this world.


I’m not really a hugger. Not because it’s invading my space or anything like that, but all my memories of hugs are solely based on being a kid, and having to endure endless embraces at funeral of my dad and brother growing up. From complete strangers, to family member you would rather avoid, for months (and years), I was forced to associated these’s crushing squeezes as a sign of sympathy, with the words of “everything is going to be alright”, which is was clearly NOT going to be. I never really got caring hugs from my mom either, and if I did it was normally after a huge fight which after apologies was a sign that we had move passed that argument (until the next one).

Now as an adult, I find myself mystified by the simple process of a hug. I generally don’t hug and kiss people on their birthdays, or as congratulatory show of affection. It’s very rare that I will huge people in greeting. With the odd exception of a friend I haven’t seen in years. However even then, I’m almost to the point of panic. Some are easy to get away with as there’s never much more behind it than a “hello”, but its pure torture with someone I’m really interested in.

A case in point is a friend I saw a few days ago after a long long time. Our greeting hug was slightly awkward, naturally as we hadn’t really seen each other in person for an age. However, the goodbye hug was so different; it was a strong caring hug that has all the feelings of a friendship renewed. The truth is, I didn’t want to let go, as I never get these sort of hugs. It meant something bigger to me. Yet for her, I’m sure it’s the kind of hug she gives all her friends, but for that brief embrace, it was just the two of us.

Holding Hands

There are few things in this world that make me jealous, however seeing a couple holding hands can at times reduce me to tears. It’s the simplest form of affection between a guy and girl (yes, depending on your sexual preference) and yet something I may never really feel.

A few years ago, I went out with a girl who is was dead keen on, and the evening ended with us walking out the restaurant and she out of her own held my hand. (I think she had some wine, so that clearly worked in my favour). The electricity that flowed through me at that exact moment is something I will always remember. We went out several times after that, and nothing ever progressed further than the holding hands stage before things fell apart. But each and every time we held hands…I felt, for lack of a better word, human.

For me, this is probably the best “sign” that a girl is interested in me, so please, if we ever go out, and you are interested in me…take my hand, I’ll do the rest.


Eeeew kissing spreads cooties.

Just joking…kissing is obviously the most intimate of all things, and even hookers would agree.

When it comes to casual hello kissed, or birthday wishes, I tend to always awkwardly miss the person’s cheek and almost kiss her ear, or mercifully fresh air (that at least makes me feel European). On my own birthday, I am almost always armed with a strategically held cup of hot coffee to avoid anyone coming in for the kiss.

My kiss tally for the last 10 years is probably around the 4 or 5 people mark. One was for a movie role, so that doesn’t count.

I like to consider myself a good kisser, and the world leader in pecks on the cheek. The reason for this is because when I do kiss, its filled with passion and emotion unlike anyone you may ever meet. You WILL go weak at the knees, and that’s a guarantee.

When I see a girl I’m attracted to, I almost never think about what it would be like to “get her in the sack”, or what she looks like nekkid, but I do undoubtedly think what it would be like to kiss her…because THAT’S where the magic is.

Of course, this blog succeeds most in telling the world what a loser I am when it comes to women, and highlights my immaturity when it comes to love and relationships, but hey, I’ve made myself look worse right?

All these small moments in life, are what so many people take for granted in their relationships, and at the risk of sounding preachy, I really don’t think they understand why they are so lucky, and this is why most relationships are over so quickly (of course they just move onto the next person).

What I’m really trying to say with all this is, that all I really want out of love and life is to feel.
To feel loved,
To feel close,
To feel wanted
and maybe… every once in a while to feel some boobies.


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7 Responses to “My 100th Blog post: XoXoXo – My Feelings on Hugs & Kisses”

  1. Genavieve Says:

    Such an open, honest blog really wear your heart on your sleeve ! Lots of luck and light in life and love. XXX

  2. Lynette van Vreden Says:

    First blog of yours I’ve read Shaun and I suppose no better one to read than lucky number 100! I can relate so well in certain aspects. Thoroughly enjoyed the honesty of it.

  3. Dre Says:

    Dude, you’re intense! Such honesty! You should try that out on these women you fancy! I’m almost a hundred percent sure they’d appreciate it, and reciprocate.

  4. Dre Says:

    Holding hands is the best thing ever. Nothing better than that…

  5. mikehawke Says:

    Can you feel …

  6. Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 3: Surviving Love & Life « Burgs World – A guide to cutting through the stupidity of life Says:

    […] My 100th Blog post: XoXoXo – My Feelings on Hugs & Kisses My 100th blog turned into something a bit heavier than I was planning on. My feelings on getting physical. […]

  7. tutiska lamera Says:

    I miss my old time memories..I miss the guy that I everI loved once..I wish I could meet him again and have a little chat with him I wonder where he is now…

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