A Burg Never Forgets

I’ve always been cursed (blessed) with having a ridiculously good memory.

I retain EVERYTHING…sure its good for trivia and movie facts, but it also means I relive everything as if it was yesterday but simply thinking about it. This is particularly hard when it comes to bad memories.

I’m always so amazed when I talk to friends and say “hey remember that time…” And they often reply with “mmm. No I don’t”. Or worse yet, they think they do and proceed to give completely the wrong account of the incident.

Since I’ve been on a “making lists” train as of late, I thought I’d share with you 50 obscure memories of my childhood.

1) The first word I was able to read was “hi-fi”…it was in a newspaper.
2) The movie on TV the day my brother died was Top Gun. The night before was Moscow On The Hudson.
3) In grade two, we went to the zoo on a field trip. A group of us got hidings from Miss Du Plessis for stretching too far over the crocodile wall.
4) A bunch of friends once rode to my house on their bicycles, one of them called out “shaunie, fatty, come out and play”…my mom raced ahead of me a ripped into the kid and proceeded to tell him how fat his whole family was. I didn’t get to play with them.
5) I won our church fundraiser darts competition when I was just 12. I beat out the adults too.
6) The first book I bought with my own pocket money was the book adaptation of Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome
7) I fell off the goal posts and broke my arm in std 5. I hid it for a few days, but when I had to glue a project together in class, everyone found out.
8 ) The opening line to my headboy speech in Std 5 was “Where we are going, we will no longer be a Big fish in a small pond, we will now be small fishes in big ponds”
9) During our Cape Town tour of 1990, I bought a nudie pen. You know the one you turn upside down the clothes fall off the girl on the pen. I sold it before the tour ended.
10) On the first day of that same tour, some kid through my old buck gin hat into the toilet. It was so embarassing I didn’t wear it for the rest of the tour.
11) My first best friend was named Ryan.
12) In std 1, I took gift bags to school for my birthday. My mom made me give the girls she didn’t like the worst toys. I remember having to give someone a …thimble.
13) During school holidays I would move my mattress to the lounge and watch Ghostbusters at midnight.
14) I once had a Tarzan doll. I rolled over it one night while sleeping and broke it.
15) My late uncle bought me a comic book to cheer me up after my brother’s death – Captain Atom issue #19
16) When I was named headboy in primary school, I got kisses from all the previous year’s female heads and deputy heads. Older women score!
17) In std5 we made perspex knives. Why I have no idea.
18) The first time I had a wet dream was after I saw The Doors…lotsa nekkidness there!
19) The first valentines day card I got in grade 1 was from a girl named Natalie. The last one I got was in std 6 from a girl named Lauren.
20) In Std 1, I earning praise from my teacher Mrs Holgate because I knew that Margaret Thatcher was called The Iron Lady.
21) I had a hampster named Flash. He could read. My mom left him out in the sun and he died. It was the first time my heart broke.
22) In 1990 I begged my brother to let me take his soccer ball to school. My mom made him say yes. That afternoon it was stolen from outside the library. I got a whippin at home.
23) When I got my first A+ in high school (for accounting no less), my mom bought me Terminator 2 on VHS.
24) I bought a scrooge Mcduck stained glass ornament and a dennis the menace puzzle at a school jumble sale in 1988.
25) In Std 6 I did the most awesome project on dracula and horror icons.
26) The guy who first got me interested in my lifelong love for tennis was a guy named Stephen Budge. Possibly related to Don Budge.
27) I bought a toy from the tv show Popples, but kept it hidden because my dad thought it was too girly.
28) Every birthday I would rent either the friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm street movies.
29) One of our end of terms movies during primary school was The Secret of Nimh
30) We once had a fun fair at our primary school. I got sick on the spinning teacups because I had a whole packet of sherbet before I went on.
31) The first song I slow danced to was “sacrifice” by Elton John.
32) The first person I spoke to on the first day of High School was a guy named Ronald. Don’t think we spoke much after that.
33) There was nothing better than spaghetti bolognaise from the tuck shop in primary school.
34) After our school athletics day in 1989, we stopped at the shop and bought six pack of Jumping Jack cooldrink. Tutti Frutti flavour.
35) KTV premiered Dino Riders at 4pm on my 10th birthday.
36) When a girl named louise had her birthday party, we watched Disney’s Alice in Wonderland.
37) During leadership camp in Std 4, the song we all had to rehearse to was “We all stand together” …also known as the frog song.
38) At that same leadership camp, a boy named stephen snuck a drag off a teachers cigarette when he left it balancing on a chair.
39) My first ever “date” was to the ice rink.
40) The first time I went to Sun City was 1991. The movie on the TV was Fletch. It was stuck in a loop and I saw the first 20 minutes six times.
41) I used to have Street Hawk pyjamas, and a Bionic Six bed spread.
42) I cried like a baby when I was announced as head boy. A guy named Allan asked me a few weeks later if I cried because my dad wasn’t there or if I was happy. To this day I still don’t know the answer.
43) At a birthday party I won a dance competition. It was legit judging too, because the host’s older sister and her friends judged. Older women score #2!
44) The last cassette tape I bought was the Jurassic Park soundtrack.
45) I was the tins in the bin champion for 2 years running. Tins in the bin is exactly was it sounds like.
46) With my first ever school holiday job, I used the paycheck to by the Empire Records soundtrack.
47) The first time my name was in the paper was in the Sunday Times magazine for winning a hamper of horror balls.
48) In std 5 we once has to wear togas to a roman theme function. I flashed two girls. I know who they are, but I’m sure they don’t remember. Guess I made zero impression!
49) I got punched in the face by a bully from a visiting school in 1991. I didn’t drop…but I did take a martial arts stance immediately afterwards ….even though I never had a single lesson.
50) The last thing my dad and I ever watched together was the Royal Rumble 1989. He died a few hours after that.

Can you remember obscure things from your childhood? Or have you hidden them away?

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