Cut From The Heart: Episode 3 – The Cute Neighbour and The Weakest Link

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Ask any of my friends, I’m not really the party type; I very rarely go to gatherings or celebrations. It’s just something I don’t feel comfortable doing anymore.

Back in the day however, I made the odd appearance at a braai (bbq) or birthday gathering, and this was one such occasion.

The year was 2003. I went to a friend’s birthday celebration, not really expecting to have a good time, even though he was the closest thing I had to a best friend, and I knew a lot of his friends, there was a always a chance I would make an excuse and leave early.

However to my surprise I ended up having a good type pretty quickly and that was probably mostly due to the fact that I hit it off with his girlfriend’s neighbour. She was cute, fun and extremely young, yes three things I look for in a girl.

We chatted the whole time, and boy was I smooth, I even walked her home in the evening (yes next door, but still), and managed to get her number.

I felt like the heavens opened up pumped my fists, and rejoiced, exclaiming “I got a number!!!”

That night we texted each other and quickly began flirting with each other. I put on a pair of balls and asked her out. To the movies, it was anything too hectic, but a nice way of spending time together. To me, nothing beats an old school dinner and a movie.

The week after the braai, I drove out to fetch her, and of course as I arrived, my friend was leaving his girlfriend’s house, he just laughed that laugh of his that pretty much says “busted!”

She invited me in to meet her parents, and her sister, and boy was it awkward, the parents barely responded to anything I said, even my jokes, which were HIGHlarious were met with zombie like responses. They just spend their time staring at the movie that was playing on the TCM channel. I tried to make conversation about my knowledge of movies, but still no response. In retrospect, they may have been wax models of the real people.

Thankfully we didn’t stay too long. We headed out to the mall, and I gave her the choice of what movie she wanted to see, she wanted to watch Freddy vs Jason…(a girl picking a horror movie is normally a good sign, but all i could think of was – dammnit…I’ve already seen that).

The movie passed far too quickly, but we inevitably began holding hands during the movie, and she didn’t let go for the rest of the night. This of course made going to the bathroom a bit awkward.

I didn’t plan on making a move further than perhaps a goodnight kiss, but when we were driving home, I mentioned that I was going to be a contestant an episode of The Weakest Link the next day, so I couldn’t be out too late.

Just before we got to her house, she said to me, “Can I wish you luck for tomorrow?” of course I wasn’t going to turn that down.

We parked on the side of the road a few blocks from her house and began to make out. It was very natural and very appealing, and then she undid her bra, allowing me to put my magic hands to work. Her hands made their way to my gear stick, and then she realized she had the wrong gear stick and proceeded to go for my other gear stick.

It was what we call a good session. We didn’t go too far but far enough to know there was an attraction.

I dropped her off and said good night, and we texted each other for the rest of the night.

The next day I filmed my episode of The Weakest Link, and the host asked me a question of “Shaun, I believe you’re single…why is that?”, I had the perfect response of “Well after last night maybe not, I had a date, a good date”…we all laughed, and I thought man, when that airs on TV it’s going to be a zinger.

The next day I texted the girl, and she didn’t reply, i tried again several times, and she eventually started replying with short sentences, finally saying we can’t see each other anymore.

Ergh…here we go again, I thought. She sorta eluded to the fact that her parents didn’t like me, which might have been true, I’ll never actually know. She was young, and maybe that played a factor. There was never a clear reason given

For me though, it was just another unsolved mystery. I think she is now living in the UK, but I often wonder about her. Of course, when that episode of The Weakest Link aired…well that just hurt even more.

For the record, I went out in the third round.

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