Archive for the ‘random’ Category

To All Things An End – My Final Blog

October 18, 2012

Over three years of my life
Over 150 posts
Over 500 comments
Over 130,000 views.

Not bad for a guy sitting in his room in Kempton Park, South Africa, writing his little blog.

I say these stats with pride, because I worked hard at the blog, I tried to make it something different to what’s out there, and I hope I achieved that in some small way.

I’ve shared EVERYTHING. Good and bad, tragic and triumphant. I’ve made enemies, I’ve lost friends, and I’ve gained respect and thanks. All because of the words I chose to use.

I’ve always said I was blogging before blogging was a word, which is partly the reason I have decided to call it a day as far as being a blogger is concerned. I have shared every aspect of my life with people, left no stone unturned, and this was bound to lead me to this point. Where I feel I have nothing left to write about. This is not a sudden decision,  as the thought has been in my head for a while to end it. I think my birthday last week left me with a sense of its ok to let it go.

After each blog I was left more and more drained, and the pressure I put on myself to come up with something new to write about was immense, and it should never be that way.

I love being a writer. It’s what I am. However, now I feel like it is time to let go of this blog and move onto other types of writing. More creative story telling I guess, I will certainly maintain my style in other projects I pursue, and will always look back fondly at this blog as something that added so much value to my life (and maybe yours).

I thank the loyal readers, I thank the haters, I thank everyone that took time to message me publically or privately with their thoughts, concerns, complaints or whatever emotion my blog brought out in you. That was always the intention.

And unlike the 5th season of 21 Jump Street, I will not stay around longer than I’m welcome; I will not get stuck in a mode of repetition. I will leave this blog with my head held high, with a feeling of I came, I saw, I conquered.

October has been a very telling month for me personally and I’ve decided to close a lot of chapters in my life,  ironically November has the makings of being a game changer for me. I hope it leads to inspiration, confidence and a push in the right direction as the writer I am meant to be. I will continue to be inspired by an elite few, those who I love, those who I cannot be with, and those who I strive to prove wrong.

So thanks for being part of Burgs World…I hope you come back and revisit some of the many stories I have shared with you over the last three years or so, they will forever be part of my body of work, and if you’d like to follow what I do next…well, hopefully my work will find you.

Always.

Burg.

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From Cape Town With Love

September 16, 2012

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It had been over three years since I had last visited Cape Town, and each time prior to this visit, my travels here comprised of nothing more than a “Friday work day, and a weekend for myself”…So when I planned on coming down this time, I planned a little more, and managed to turn it into a “five working day and weekend for myself” trip

Well, the work side of it certainly took care of its self and I ended up being so busy that my devious little plan to take some time for myself during those working days, simply just didn’t happen…however, that turned to be the biggest blessing in disguise.

My trip here was always two fold.

Firstly, I quite simply needed to breathe new air for a bit. Joburg was getting the best of me in so many ways, and I felt the anxiety settling in big time, I needed to get out for a bit, for everyone’s sanity.
Secondly, I wanted to test the waters in terms of working out the Cape Town office. As part of my overall smaller dreams bigger wins strategy, I wanted to see how effectively working out the CT office would prove. And lo and behold, I got probably about three times more work done in this week than I would of done back in JHB.

Most of my closest friends are down here and I’m glad I got to see them, some people really went out their way to make me feel welcome, and that goes so far in my book, If I couldn’t make it to where people where, they came and fetched me. Gestures of friendship are not lost on me, and I ensured that while I was down here I reignited my #BurgMoments lifestyle in full force, in fact I have setup several of these moments to take place after I leave this evening, in the hope that I will have left some tiny part of Burg magic in the City that has been so good to me.

Of course, the trip was not without its typical “pulling a burg” moments, which so often define my adventures, so if you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share some of the highlights….
There’s nothing quite like a first day in a different city, as basic logic always seems to disappear and you seem to make the silliest of errors. Starting with my rental car…that took me 20minutes to start, because I couldn’t figure out how to switch on the damn ignition. So there I say quietly in my parking bay, trying not to look like a complete idiot, sometimes pretending to be on my phone with one hand, while the other frantically searched for some sort of switch or immobilizer that may be the trick to switching it on. Little did I realize, to start the car, it simply needed to be in gear. Pfff…technology.

That same night, I also managed to lock myself out the house, taking a walk down to KFC, and returning to the house only to realize I didn’t quite have all the keys I needed. I phoned a colleague who confirmed this to indeed be fact. As I waited calmly eating my chicken in the road, in the dark, and cold…she phoned me back with the genius idea of walking around the house and using the other door…which I had keys for.

One the Wednesday, I decided to take in preparation for my conference the next day, in order to see the venue beforehand and if it was walkable. I left with a colleague at about 5.30pm and took a breezy walk a few blocks down. Eventually spotting the conference centre from a distance, it was in fact walkable, but certainly not from the route I took, but happy with the fact that I know knew where it was, I headed back. Back where however, I’m not quite suite, as I didn’t realize I did not keep track of where I actually was. So what proceed was a looooot of walking to try and find my bearings. As the night got darker, and colder, I ended up being followed by a homeless man, swearing at me constantly for no reason. Ironically we would both make our way to the local homeless shelter, he was happy, I wasn’t. If anything, my walkabout took me to places I wouldn’t normally see, including the recent World Cup stadium . From there I made my way to the V&Waterfront shopping complex where I eventually was able to retrace my steps back to the home office. Now, ordinarily, a two hour getting lost walk is a great thing for me. However, because I had only planned on popping down the block and back, I had made the decision to wear my slip slops (sandals), the devastation caused by this decision is still being felt as I type this. I have no skin left on the top of my feet, and bubble blisters underneath them! I still walked to the conference the next day, and did several Km’s over the proceeded days, which each and every pair of socks being drenched in blood that poured out my feet. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like having to peel a pair of socks off your feet and getting to do it all over again the next day.

There is one last story I would like to share with you…

You see, I knew coming down here I would see a lot of old friends, however, I didn’t plan on making a new one…but boy oh boy did I.

I’m pretty easy to get along with for the most part, but every now and again I find someone I connect with on the clichéd “another level”. I can generally sense these people immediately, and just know that there is something there that needs to be explored. Such was the case with the person I met purely by chance I guess. We didn’t really talk much as first, but there was something lingering there. Something that needed to be tapped into, which we did, and much like her; it was nothing short of beautiful.

We did lunch, we chatted so much, we had so many revealing conversations about things we both loved and desired in the world, however the entire time there was this cloud of finality hanging over over…I would be leaving soon and this was all going to be over way too soon. She said she wished I could stick around longer, which just made my heart jump with joy. I wished that too. But the reality of our lives could not turn this into anything more. As the days went on, in typical Burg fashion, I found myself falling for her more and more each day, but not just her, rather the way she made me feel, and believe in my own dreams and desires again. The whole scenario played out much like an extended version of Before Sunrise/Sunset.

We spent most of Saturday together, where I got to meet some people in her life, including the reality check of the husband, who is one of those seemingly nice guys who makes you immediately think “well, there’s no way I can compete with this guy”. Then you immediately think well, I was never in with a chance anyways. Not that there was a chance of anything of course, but its just the head games one tends to play with ones self.

He eventually had to pop out for a while, and finally I got to just spend some alone time with her, we walked back to her place, and as much pain as I was in from my bleeding feet, it just disappeared when I was around her. We fetched a few things from the house then headed back to the beach, quite prepared for another painful walk, I was so happy that we were just together, then of course, that feeling was quickly replaced with disappointment as the honk honk of her husband in the car shorted our trip as he arrived to give us a lift back. My heart sunk, but my fake smile and humour came to my defence…

As the universe would have it, I ended up being stuck with him for a few hours, while she went surfing…. So here we are, two men laying on beach towels getting to know each other. I realized there is never a right time to say “hey, I’m falling for your wife, so just wanted to make sure that’s cool with you”…, so I just sat there getting more and more miserable, but never showing it, and instead offering genuine conversation and polite to the bitter end.

When she did return from the surf, a ray of sunshine brighter than the day’s sun that was beating down on me, they decided to call it a day and invited me to join them for dinner. Knowing I just couldn’t possibly torture myself anymore, I made an excuse to leave, and that I had someone else to see, then headed back. I didn’t have other plans.

Selfishly, I kept hoping she would send me a message asking if I was ok, or thanking me for coming or even “apologizing” for leaving me alone for so long, but none of that came…until about 2 hours later when I got a Facebook message asking if I had perhaps taken her phone. She had lost it….of course. The universe just loves playing these jokes on me doesn’t it.

As I sit here now typing this, I can’t help but wonder, was that it? Was that all I would be allowed with her? And as thankful as I am for the unexpected friendship, I find myself consumed with thoughts of “what ifs”, if I had said something else, taken a chance, just done something out of the ordinary…would it have made a difference? Would it have made a fool of me? I just don’t know. But for someone who lives by the words “Live For The Moments”, this is one that is stapled to my heart.

I’m a romantic, i’m a dreamer, but im also a realist and I know exactly how this story ends. I don’t begrudge these feelings at all, and I know that if our paths are meant to cross again, they will, in this lifetime or the next.

The truth is, I could write about her for hours, but the rest of the memories will be for me. So all that is left to say is…

Thank you Cape Town…we will do it all again in December…

“Every Office Has One” – 14 Clichéd Colleagues

May 10, 2012

If you’ve ever worked in an office, you’ve probably used a variation of the line, “It would be so perfect if it weren’t for just one person there…”

I’ve worked in at least 10 different office environments, in different industries, in my time and each and every place has had at least that one person who ruins your entire working experiences at that job because of their annoying habits.

I’d like to now pay tribute to those clichéd colleagues who we affectionately think back on as and say “Every office at least one…”

Of course, those of us who just have plain ol’bad luck can sometimes be subjected to individuals who have a rare combination of the below traits, but I guarantee you will come across someone you recognize here, no matter where you work.

With that, I’d like to present to you my Top 14 Countdown of clichéd colleagues.

14. The Name Dropper

I’m not even talking about a celebrity name dropper here…that would still be understandable to a point in an office environment. This type of name dropper is a far deadlier species…they are the kinds of person you will tell you all about Roger’s argument he had with the checkout employee at the local supermarket this weekend. Or about Betty’s decision to put her mom in a home during the Easter holidays. Who are Roger and Betty you may ask? Exactly. Name Droppers are presumptuous enough to tell us stories involving their friends who you don’t know from a bar of soap as if they were the cast of a well known tv sitcom, who we all should know.

13. The “Grey’s Anatomy” Chick

“OMG! Did you catch Grey’s last night! McDreamy was such a b@stard!”… A variation of this evening salvo is becoming a common problem in the work place these days. Before Peg from accounting has even put her handbag down in the morning, she is still fuming from last night’s drama, which no real drama can ever compare to. The Grey’s Anatomy Chick, may also be known as The Survivor Chick, and now also as The MasterChef Chick.

12. The Not As Funny As He Thinks He Is Guy

For every likeable prankster in the office, there is always his evil office twin, the douche bag comedian. His jokes are normally predetermined well in advance in case the moment ever arrives where he can use his “witty one liner” or bad pun. However, there is NEVER a right moment. In desperation, this comedian can often resort to a funny voices, and fart jokes to get a laugh out of people. His bag of material is paper thin, so expect him to recycle many of his jokes. WARNING: DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM with sympathy laughter.

11. The Pervert

There is sexual innuendo in everything for this guy. You could be making copies of the monthly financial report, and The Pervert would be like “So…you like …multiplying…don’t you?” The Pervert is also unable to stay focused on work for long periods of time, so if you need something done, get it done quick, before you suddenly have to “check the ass out on that one…If I just had 5 minutes alone with her!” And yes, The Pervert is often immune to any sort of office discipline (you like to be disciplined…don’t you), however, this should not stop you from lodging a complaint…the only draw back is that he will think you are playing hard to get. The Female version does exist, however they are rare, and often disguised as plus sized women.

10. The Mail Forwarder

Motivationals, K-Mart shoppers, Daily Horoscopes and the old favourite – “send this back to me…and 5 friends, and see your luck change” forwards are a clear indication you are on a mailing list you will never get off for the rest of your time at that particular job. The Mail Forwarder is smart, and strikes early, normally within you first week in your job. It will be too awkward to ask them not to include you and 2 years later, you will have no hope left. A typical South African forwarded will also include secret crime syndicate warnings that the police aren’t even aware of, Road Block warnings, and potential mass strike emails that are “inside information”.

9. Miss TMI

“You know, since I had my hysterectomy, my bladder seems to get infected at the drop of a hat.”. That’s right, Miss TMI (Too Much Information) has no boundaries. Her medical conditions are everyone’s business, and her desk drawers normally contain more prescription drugs than your local pharmacy. Her sex life will also be open for discussion whether you like it or not. As it will be discussed in great detail, never, ever, under any circumstances ask Miss TMI how she is doing…because she will tell you.

8. The Car Guy

Yes, The Fast & The Furious was an pretty awesome movie, but The Car Guy will also try and convince you that 2 Fast 2 Furious was just as epic. He spends his life upgrading and modifying his car, and never actually finishes it, but thankfully he keeps you updated throughout the entire process. The Car Guy, often has a flawless knowledge of sound systems, and knows a guy who knows a guy who can get you a good deal. The CG can often be found at illegal races, but would never actually compete in them, despite what he may tell you about blowing a gasket during his practice run the weekend before. The Car Guy, is also fond of using the F-Bomb in every sentence, especially when talking about police and authority figures.

7. The Story Repeater (also known as The Joke Stealer)

Ever had a colleague tell you an interesting story? And then a few days later tell you a story that sounds familiar? And then 2 weeks later tell you the same effing story for the 8th time! These people are sick and need our help. If they begin to tell you a repeat story, stop them immediately, you sanity may depend on it! These are the same people that repeat a joke or wise crack seconds after you say it as if it were their own!!

6. The Religious Nut

Jesus saves!…but Messi scores on the rebound. Seemingly, those darn Christians never find that funny. Every work place has at least one openly religious person you tells you that everything is the Lord’s will. If there is a tragedy, it’s God’s Will. If you are going through troubles, they will pray for you. If the vending machine takes your money…someone needed it more that you did. It is of course naturally assumed that you too are religious and believe in the same thing they do, so expect daily prayers and blessings, straight to you inbox.

5. The Know It All

The colleague who always feels the need to be involved in all conversations no matter the topic, and don’t let the fact that they know nothing about said topic stop them. They will give you incorrect movie titles, unfounded opinions on sports teams and their performances, or they will simply steal an opinion from someone they heard on the radio, or read on the internet, if it happens to be a topical issue that everyone is talking about, in an attempt to be relevant. The Know-It-All will also blatantly argue with incorrect facts even if you are an expert in a certain field.

4. The Personal Caller

There are two kinds of Personal Callers. The loud and proud version who openly spends her days on personal calls, letting the entire office know about her breakup, faulty purchases and doctors appointments. This kind of PC is not self aware and maybe need to be bought into the loop that she spends 4 hours a day on the phone. The second kind of PC is, the whisperer. They will only ever be seen listening to phone calls, with the receiver affixed to their ear. These are hard to report unless you are monitoring them with advanced military equipment…or have access to their phone bills. In rare cases you can come across a hybrid of these two types…a Super Caller if you will.

3. The “Have You Seen” Picture Lady

Not to be confused with The Name Dropper, this is the lady in the office that will show you every baby picture, wedding album and “wahoo”party picture relating to her, her family, her friends and anyone else who might of captured her awesomeness in a photo. She often doesn’t care about your opinion , just as long as you agree with her that it’s the most beautiful wedding ever, the cutest baby ever and the most awesome part ever….till the next one at least.

2. The “How Did They Get That Job?” Colleague

Their only job skill is endurance. How else would you explain how that moron got the position of Team Leader, Supervisor or Manager? They have zero problem solving skills, no backbone, and speak only in clichés. However, these are the same people that often own the nicest cars, and scarily, often have wives and kids.

1. The Cat Lady

Oh you know the type! Cat lady is the most famous of all the stereotypes, and she deserves no mercy. She can sometimes be a combination of the mail forwarder, sending you daily pics of cats in HIGHlarious scenarious….such as falling asleep on the keyboard kitty, surprised face kitty, and grumpy “this explains how I feel about work” kitty. If you happen to miss these emails, don’t worry, Cat Lady has all of them printed out and stuck around her cubicle for quick reference. She often also has a kitty as her Facebook profile pic.

So that’s my list…recognize yourself? If so, then take the shame!
I know for a fact there are tons of other clichés out there, so feel free to comment below and add your choices…

Sometimes, All You Need Is A Little Heartache To Feel Good About Life

May 7, 2012

An old friend once said to me, that I write about such heavy sh!t; but where would I find my inspiration once I have no more demons left?

I’m paraphrasing of course, but he was correct.

These last few months have produced so little writing, and for the longest time I was frustrated because I didn’t know why I couldn’t get inspired.

Then, suddenly I had the strangest of weeks. From losing friends, to making new ones, from seeing old friends in a new light, to seeing new friends in a familiar light…it’s been a week of epic proportions.

My emotions were off the chart for a number of reasons; and then, it all seemed to click. My emotions ARE what inspire me. I’ve created so many #BurgMoments for people lately that I was in fact at risk of going overboard!

When there is nothing going on in my life I am uninspired. So for all the contentment that I settle for, I sacrifice my creativity

To create, I need to be troubled. I need to be sad. I need unrequited love.

I didn’t and couldn’t understand this; I felt so guilty about feeling troubled when everything was suddenly going right. Like I was supposed to be thankful for what I had.

Over the last few months I couldn’t speak about this to anyone, because quite honestly nobody could understand it, nor would I expect them to, I guess. I didn’t have that one person who “got me”.

Recently two things have changed in my life.

I reconnected with my dearest friend, who I truly love to bits, because we are two sides of the same coin. The year or so that we drifted apart ripped a hole in me that I thought would never be repaired. But over the last few months, I’m happy to say I feel we have become closer than ever, and I know now with great certainty, that she will forever be the best part of my life, and I will work tirelessly to keep her in my life. She gives me perspective, and allows me my nuances that would quite honestly offend most of the population, because she is exactly the same. So to have you in my life Ray Ray, is my single greatest achievement I will have …um…achieved. I know you will read this, and I know you will understand way beyond the words I have used here. Ours is a friendship destined to be.

The time we spent apart was the hardest and loneliest time I’ve ever experienced, (and I’ve been through hell a number of times!), I strangely don’t regret it though; because I feel it’s made us realise what we really mean to each other.

The second person is someone I very much doubt will ever read this, and that’s perhaps a good thing.

It’s been a long, long time, since I have felt any sort of affection for a girl. I’ve had passing crushes, I’ve tried to flirt with old friends, but everything was so fleeting.

Now I find myself in a situation where I have found someone I am so comfortable liking, that everything feels right about it. When we talk we go from joking conversations to serious discussion without the awkwardness in between.

When she touches my hand, or stands close to me, I feel all my troubles disappear, even just for that moment. And those who know me know I am not a physical contact guy in the least.

We think the same things at the same times, we make the same jokes (which is so important to me), and I find myself wondering what she is doing right now as I type this blog.

But here’s the kicker.

This will never come to be anything more than this. My heart will ache because of this, but it will not fall to pieces.

I understand it’s not reciprocated, and for the first time in my life, I’m ok with this. It’s the strangest dichotomy.

It’s not one of those situations where “maybe” something will happen one day, it simply won’t. My line of ‘guys like me don’t get girls like her’ is in full effect here.

But for the first time in my life, when it comes to someone I find myself falling for, I am approaching it with my life motto of #LiveForTheMoments.

I am so happy when I’m around her, my heart beats a million miles a minute (yes, doctor friends I know that’s not how it works), she’s the sort of girl you could sit with in silence for an hour, and it would be the best hour of your life….well, unless we were being held captive like in a SAW movie, at that moment…but still, even with the torture going on, it would still be a pretty awesome time, just because I got to spend it with her.

Now each morning, I get up, with a smile on my face(book) because I know I will see her. I pack a good lunch because I know we will share it, and wear the good cologne because maybe, just maybe she will stand close to me…A guy can dream eh?

So to these two individuals, I say thank you, in your own ways, you inspire me in ways you will never know, you allow me to be who I am, and you bring out the best in me, most importantly, because of you I know who I am, and I feel complete. Demons and all.

The Zen of Burg – 10 Steps To A Happier Me (Part 2)

April 19, 2012

Right, so if you’ve read part 1, you will know what this part 2 is about 🙂

6. The New Me, Same as the Old Me

Over the years the most noticeable things to disappear from my life were my smile, my laugh and my self-confidence. Finding a picture of me smiling from the last 7 years is about as likely as finding gold in a hobo’s dentures. Over the last few months, all of those missing elements have begun to return. A lot of it can be credited to my new work colleagues who have a very similar sense of humour to me, and they truly bring out the old me that I know so many of my friends once knew. I laugh more, smile more, and have the confidence to be the person I really am again.

The me at home is VERY different to the me out in the real world, and for the longest time, the real me stayed at home permanently. I wasn’t fun to be around, I could barely hold conversation with people without getting annoyed to the point of wanting to drown them in a small shallow bucket. I’m at my best when I am funny and witty. I love to make people laugh and lighten the mood. That’s my gift. I make people feel good. When I couldn’t do that, I felt incomplete, and quite honestly worthless. Now I feel I can walk into a room and light it up again if need be. I walk with an air of confidence again, I take pride in the way I dress. It’s certainly not like this 24/7 , but now I don’t feel like the short fat kid who has to sit in the corner at the school dance anymore. I’m the short fat kid who asks the prom queen to dance again.

7. Live for the moments.

I am the KING of the big gesture, I used to do so many epic things for people (yes, girls), to try and win them over and convince them of my awesomeness, 99.9% of the time it backfired and I often didn’t get so much as a thank you. Yet I didn’t learn, I kept doing it, because I enjoyed doing those things, but selfishly I wanted something back from it, even if it was just a thank you. Those sort of things can be so draining to both your heart and soul. The easy answer was I was doing it for the wrong reasons, or so friends would always tell me, but then when the next “target” came along, I would commit the same foul.

Over the last few months, a light switch finally went off in my head that allowed me to admit that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. However, and this is a big however, so take note. This does not mean I should stop doing it. I ENJOY the big gestures, the work or research (called creeping these days), that goes into a big gift, or heartfelt gesture, so why should I stop doing it? No, instead, I need to change the reasons as to why I’m doing it. I no longer expect anything in return. I do it now because to simply make someone’s day is good enough for me. It makes me happy. Whether it be friends, a love interest or a complete stranger. I like to show that romance and magical moments still exist. Now I live for those moments. The moment of telling a beautiful girl in the elevator that she is in fact a beautiful girl, then simply walking away with no further interaction needed. Sending someone flowers, anonymously or otherwise, simply to make them smile knowing that someone made an effort for them that day.

So be warned, you may in fact be the recipient of a #BurgMoment… when you least expect it, something good could happen to you. You may get flowers, you may get your lunch bill paid for, you may have a clowns show up at your office, you may get invited to an all-expenses paid holiday. There are so few genuinely good moments in life, that sometimes you have to make your own. I notice everyone and I’m happy to say these moments have already started happening… so you could be next!

8. Don’t Give a Damn about People Opinions, But Stand Up For Yourself.

I’d always been “too nice”, too nice to rock the boat, too nice to complain, and too worried about what people might think about me, didn’t wanna embarrass myself you know. I had my pride. (This was always a very strange contraction to my outside appearance, with my tattoos, piercings and clothing, I always seemed to attract attention. I had an aura about me that drew people towards me). This effectively led to me being screwed over way too often and always coming out with the short end of the stick.

Then something changed. It might have been the 5 years in the music industry that hardened me, or maybe that was just part of it. But somewhere along the line I became a bonefide badass. You didn’t mess with me. If I am in the right, I will fight till the bitter end to make sure I come out the victor. Customer services and banks around the country know this better than anyone. I don’t accept cr@ppy service, I don’t accept being spoken down too, and I don’t allow people to be bullied. I stand up for those who feel they don’t have a voice anymore. I’m still learning the fine are of not going too far with making a point, and admittedly, sometimes I do push it too far, but I blame all the pent up aggression I have inside me. However, I’m glad I have hardened the eff up. And you know what? I have gotten more freebies, gift vouchers, apologies, and service than I have even had in my life. Score a point to the little guy.

9. Open to Trying New Things

I have always been so stuck in my ways. As much as a free spirit as I am, it takes a lot for me to break out of my own personal mould. It’s always been frustrating for people, because if my mind is made up, there is no changing it. Ok ok, let’s just cut to the chase, I will finally admit it. I am stubborn, fussy and hard to please….wow, I can actually hear about 400 people collectively saying “I told you so”. But I do admit it, and this is what has led to a lot of arguments with friends. Lately however, I have been so open to trying new things. Whether it’s something simple like a food I hate that I’ve never actually eaten, or maybe going out somewhere I don’t like with friends just to be with friends, or heck maybe even the reverse cowboy…I more than willing to entertain new things in my life. Maybe it’s something that comes with age, I’m not quite sure…all I know is that the way I’ve been living wasn’t making me happy. Of course I do all this within reason, it’s not like I’m living the life of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll now simply because being sXe wasn’t working for me, however I am now open to that cocktail on the beach in Hawaii or that beer in Germany…

10. I am Awesome.

To steal a catchphrase from The Miz. I am awesome, and I need to keep believing that to survive this crazy ride through the rest of my life. I’m a good person, and so proud of that, because there are very few of us left. In a world that is getter meaner and crueller by the day, it is us few white knights who need to keep the hope alive; the hope of something better out there, something good and caring.

I take this role very seriously; I like to bring hope to people but in an honest way. That has always been the purpose of this blog, and my life. I have seen it all and been through more, and it’s these life lessons that give others strength. There may be a touch of arrogance to what I say, buy my life has never really been my own, and I finally understand that. My experiences, the tragedy and the triumphs are given to me because I can handle them. I live my life openly, and this blog has never been shy of revealing things that most people are ashamed of, but I do it so that if just one person can relate to it, it’s been worth it. I’ve always seen myself as a person who comes into people’s lives when they need me the most. I offer comfort when others cannot. People tend to trust me and share their problems with me, which while overwhelming at times (especially when it’s not something I can physically help with), is something of an honour.

As my blog approaches that magical milestones of 100,000 views, I’d like to take this time to thank #TeamBurg old and new for supporting me, for loving me, for hating me, for having a reaction to what I say. I write because I feel I have something to say, and I always encourage you to do the same.

20 Things I Find Sexy

February 16, 2012

My last few blogs have been pretty darn serious, and thought now might be a good time to get back to the fun element of this blog.

It’s no secret it doesn’t take much to turn a guy on, and any guy who says otherwise is lying. However, we all have our favourite things we look out for, whether it be on a woman or guy. I don’t judge as we know. Maybe for some people it’s something someone does, or what they wear, heck it could even be something they say right?

Here’s my list of things that I find sexy, use it, don’t use it.

1. A pair of legs on a woman. DEAD SEXY. Of course I understand women can’t all have legs like Stacey Keibler, but I will always notice a legs on a woman first.

2. Dark Hair. On her head only of course….well, I can make exceptions.

3. Dark skin. Olive skinned woman or nicely toned Indian, South American women will forever be my weakness, of course this combined with the above Dark Hair = perfection.

4. Water. For some reason I find this the sexiest of all the elements. Taking a bath or shower with someone, getting caught in the rain, even a women drenched like a rat has a certain appeal. Anyone made love in water? I only know what I learned watching ShowGirls.

5. Tattoos on a woman. Kill me, kill me know. A bigger arm/shoulder tattoo is a bell ringer for me. Love that! Not so mad about tramp stamps and tribals though…so be warned, even I have boundries.

6. Athletic or sporty women are a big YES when it comes to sex appeal. As long as they are not the Serena Williams type, then I’m all for it. I like a girl who doesn’t play sports like a girly girl. And girl who supports my love of sports is a close second.

7. Pop Culture Geek. Love comics, movies, TV and such? well if you can hold a conversation about Zombies and know who the Green Arrow is, then its kismet.

8. Older women. Within reason.

9. Younger women. Within reason.

10. Girls who wear earphones. When someone walks past me or stands next to me in a lift wearing earphones, I can’t help but to watch them. Mouthing the words, or a slight reserved sway to the beat is sexy as hell.

11. Stripper Boots. Its a guy thing.

12. Bridges. Not sure where this came from, maybe its a movie thing, but walking on a bridge with a girl has such a peaceful element of sexy to it.

13. Holding hands. Especially on bridges. I find the simple act of holding hands sexy. The best way to test if there is electricity between two people.

14. Girl carrying coffee, like from a coffee place. Again, it could be a movie thing; it could be a New York thing, but it’s cetainly my thang.

15. School Uniform. Some people have the Princess Leia fantasy, or the nurse fantasy, but the uniform does it for me. You know what I love about school girls? I get older, they stay the same age. Yes they do, yes they do.

16. Class. Even to the point of being a snob. I find a classy woman the sexiest thing on earth. Cate Blanchett fits this mould nicely.

17. Accents. I think this is perhaps a more common one. Spanish/French/Italian/Australian/British all work for me. Even if it’s a fake one.

18. Shoulders. Like legs, a good pair of shoulder, and a woman who isn’t afraid to show them off is a sure thing.

19. Girls who wear t-shirts featuring rock bands from the 70s or 80s… and can actually name all the members in the band.

20. Other people’s wives.

What do you have on your list?

Dream Big, Dig Deep: A 6 Month Journey To Redemption

February 14, 2012

Time is a funny old thing. A lot can happen in 6 months, and at the same time, nothing at all can happen in 6 months.


6 Months ago, I quit my job for a variety of reasons. The salary just wasn’t enough, the people were beginning to drive me crazy, I wanted to focus more on my writing, and perhaps most importantly, I felt there was something “better“ out there for me.

This drew the ire of a lot of people. I heard a lot of similar questions/statements.
– Have you got something else?
– Don’t quit till you have another job waiting!
– What about your mother, how are you going to take care of her?
– Stick it out, it’s not easy to find a job?
– How can you make money out of writing?
– Etc. etc. etc

I did have good enough answers for any of these. All I knew as I needed change.

The money I got paid out should have been enough for 6months max, that gave me enough time take a break, refocus and then move on.

Unfortunately I didn’t get paid out what I thought I would, so the pressure was immediately on, and the stress was taking its toll.

After all, I had real world problems to deal with, I had a mother, her house, groceries and monthly expenses to take care of.

The first thing to suffer was my writing. However, I realized I will never have the luxury of solely being able to do what I love. I don’t live my life for just me. That’s the sad truth. If I did, I would have been writing a long time ago. In order for me to write, I need to be where I am motivated, and that’s not here. Not in this house, not in this country. That was a situation I couldn’t change.

My mom by nature is a very negative person, and sees no bright side to any situation. The world she lives in is doom and gloom, and there is no chance of anyone making it in the world. She has a skewed idea of what reality is. This is just one of the ways we are completely opposite. I have such big dreams and ambitions which she believes will be my downfall.

This is hard for a child, no matter what age, to deal with. As the support of a parent is ultimately the only support you ever want. So this whole journey for me was very much a path I’ve walked alone.

As I began job hunting (which went as far back as September), I thought to myself, “Wow, there are tons of jobs out there”- and there were! What I didn’t count on was people just not coming back to me.

I applied for no less than 63 jobs in the last six months. I had 5 people come back to me for an interview. Those are shocking stats. And even worse odds. This was a real reality check, because I have a pretty awesome CV, but the nature of the beast is that people just don’t respond.

A lot of people did the clichéd “send me you CV I’ll forward it on and see what I can do”, this, whilst meant in kind and caring way, was the most fruitless of all things; because it was just the thing people say to seem supportive. I’ve also said that to people in the past, so I know how it works.

I had people telling me what jobs to apply for, even though they had no clue what I’ve actually being doing for the last 7yrs. For some reason, people still think I’m interested in computers?

Let me say it this way, finding jobs to apply for was NEVER the problem! I applied for 63 appropriate jobs folks…I wasn’t applying for stuff I wasn’t suited for.

As the months past, tensions at home grew worse, I had taken my mom to register for Pension, which started paying out last month. Of course R900 doesn’t go far, but she didn’t want to spend it none the less.

If I went for an interview, and didn’t come back with an “I got the job!”, my mom’s first words were “Do you think they felt you couldn’t do the job? What are we going to do now!”

Out of the 6 interviews I went for (2 for the same job), my mom never once felt like I got the job, she was just concerned about how we were going to pay the electricity bill this month.

Come the start of February, we were down to one meal a day. So with no breakfast or lunch, my energy levels were so low, that I could hardly even muster the energy to get off the couch. Thankfully, one can apply for jobs through a smartphone.

The last interview I had lined up was last week Tuesday, and it was a callback for a job that I really fell in love with. For round two, I had present a plan to the company on how to move them forward online. I would be presenting to a group of 5 decision makers.

I prepped the presentation in the early hours of the morning, as I do my best work at the 11th hour, and went and absolutely KILLED the interview.

However, they said they had a few people they still had to see and would only let me know by today if I got the job. I felt I had a real chance with this one, but of course the doubt creeps into you and you lose all faith in yourself. My mom certainly piled on the heat with her negativity, and said there was no way they would wait a week to let me know, and that if they were seeing someone else after me they clearly didn’t want me. She will never grasp the concept of their being a procedure to something.

Another very long and tense week passed. Then this morning I got the call…I got the job! It was a unanimous decision by everyone who was in that interview. They loved me! A good job, with good people, and double the salary I got at my previous job.

For 6 months, I was constantly asked the question of do I regret leaving my job of 5 years. The answer even in trying times was no. I don’t . Not for a second.

I’m by no means out of the woods yet, as I only start this job next week, and as of right now, I don’t have much food left in the house, I have no petrol money, and our electricity is a heartbeat from being cut off. I only get a full salary the end of March, so I have no idea how I’m going to survive! But the thing is…I’ve been through worse. Come March, I will no longer just survive every month, for the first time ever, I will be able to live!

The rebirth begins next week, and the comeback of all comebacks has started. The reason I quit my job has now been fulfilled.

My writing will always be my first love, and thankfully I have a job that will allow me to incorporate it. I will be working in place where I will see new people every single day, and I’m in an industry that gives me hope that New York may once again be on the cards.

I thank all those that have supported me through trying times, even those that foolishly said “you will get this one!” to the 5 jobs I didn’t get…

33 Things I Regret…

January 9, 2012

There’s a saying that goes something along the lines of “Don’t regret the things you have done, but rather the things you haven’t done”…which while stupid, is somewhat meant to say that one has the chance to do something they haven’t done if they have the courage…but as for the things you have done…well, I guess they will stick with you the rest of your life.

I often say that if I had the chance to live my life again I wouldn’t do anything different…that’s true to a point, because it has in truth made me who I am today…plus given me a boat load of content for these blogs.

However, there are many moments I would choose to relive. Certain decisions I’d make differently. Perhaps even people I would chose not to let into my life…

So with that, I’d like to present to you 33 such moments in my life…and of course, these are as brutally honest as you’d expect.

They are in no particular order, but rather presented as they come to mind.

1. I should never have cancelled my trip to NYC in 2010 for the reasons I did.

2. I should never have left my job at Heat/FHM magazine.

3. I should never have sold my World Cup final tickets.

4. I would never have convinced my Grade 12 science teacher that she lost my project when in fact I never handed it in.

5. I should of tried harder to keep my friend Ray’s friendship even though she chose to stop being friends. I miss her tremendously.

6. I would of spoken to my friend Paula the day I saw her in the post office many many years ago, instead of thinking she probably didn’t wanna speak to me.

7. I would never bought an expensive birthday gift for a girl named Vicki.

8. I should never have believed people when they said they had big plans for me, and followed my own instinct instead.

9. I would never have made that 8k bet on Leeds United because I had nothing else to do with that money.

10. I would never have sold my Evil Dead 1&2 replica Book of the Dead dvd box sets.

11. I should of made it to Rory & Rox’s wedding despite my own family drama.

12. I should of gotten my health sorted out before my Medical Aid was cancelled.

13. I should of fought back against those two guys who hijacked me.

14. I should never have wished my brother lost a race…I never had to chance to say sorry.

15. I would have kissed Katherine that day behind the school building.

16. I would never have pursued a girl named Lori.

17. I would never have gone to THAT Christmas party.

18. I should have stuck it out and done that school play with Damien. I had zero self confidence and felt I let him down.

19. I should not have let that damn tattoo artist tattoo the Roman numeral “V” on my leg while he was sorting out his divorce over the phone.

20. I would have apologized to my friend Charis when I accidentally hit her in the face with my school bag instead of acting like “it wasn’t that bad, get over it”.

21. I wish I didn’t cry like a baby the night I was announce as Head Boy.

22. I would of never organized World Cup final tickets for the girl who used my trust as a stepping stone.

23. I should not have used my data bundle in December to download “albino porn”.

24. I should of made the effort to go to one of Simone’s reviews.

25. I should of asked Jamie Lee Curtis for a photo that day in New York.

26. I should never have shop lifted that marble from Clicks in 1989.

27. I should never have left my friend Len stranded while I sorted out my own drama.

28. I would have admitted I broke the bathroom tap at a family member’s house.

29. I should of joined a tennis club when I was younger.

30. I would never have let former colleagues get away with the way they spoke and/or treated me.

31. I should never have cut up my old wrestling magazine to get pictures for my scrapbook

32. I would never have ignored my cousin Michael while I tried to sort out my own problems, my word to him should of come first.

33. I should never have had that ham & jalapeno sandwich before I wrote this blog.

Well, that’s it, a regret for every year I’ve been alive…that’s some heavy baggage right there!

What I Did On My Summer Vacation…(Or WHERE THE EFF HAVE I BEEN??)

December 10, 2011

Now it’s been a while since I’ve done this, so please bear with me…

I’m sitting here covered in paint, and not the chocolate body paint I’ve often thought about either. Instead I’m covered in paint from painting my spare room as I continue to convert it into a proper man cave.
That’s part of what I’ve been doing the last three months.

That’s right, while everyone has been speculating about my suicidal tendancies, depressions and immigrating overseas, I’ve pretty much been taking it easy.

I removed myself from social networks, setup a new phone number, and paid off all my debts. It was a great cleansing feeling.

I would still be off the radar if it wasn’t for an overwhelming number of people trying to get hold of me to see if I was ok. Why wouldn’t I be? I stated on numerous times that I was disappearing and going off the social networks. That was fair enough wasn’t it? People for the most part resepected that and gave me the space I needed, and that I appreciate.
Some went overboard and tried to get hold of my home address and contacted my former employer to find out what was going on and if I was ok. Understandable to the point of intrusion.

Ah. My former employer.

I feel I should mention a bit about the circumstances behind me leaving.

As I sit here with no income and no car, I think to myself, did I do the wrong thing by leaving the job I had for the last 5 plus years?

It takes all of half a second to come up with a resounding NO!

One should always judge the impact you left at a company based on the manner of your exit.
When I left, I didn’t receive so much as a goodbye/good luck card from my colleagues. I has a poor turnout at my farewell snacks, and most of the senior managers didn’t even bother to come say goodbye (even an email of the day would of sufficed), but alas, none of that. My time there ended rather abruptly.

This pretty much summed up has I was viewed by the company I gave everything for over the last few years. I was simply never taken seriously.

This hurt tremedously, as one year before, my praises were being sung, I was promised the respect i deserved (ie. money), overseas opportunities – a major sore point as we all know this was my goal, heck I had managers coming up to me in the corridor saying “So I believe we sending you overseas for a bit”…then suddenly, silence. The myriad of false promises became all to clear. I had to beg for communication, the simply decencies of responses and explanations were just too much for those who were more about their own egos and accendency to follow through on their word.

After two years of fighting the good fight, I called it day. It was mutual for the most part, but the irony is, if I stuck around a month longer, I probaly would of been retrenched and given a package anyways. The joke was on me I guess, they got rid of me…cheap.

I knew about the retrenchments coming up, but just knew I couldnt force myself to pretend to smile and do the bidding of others for another month.

So I walked. I walked into the unknown. I waited months to wrap up “paperwork”, which was not unexpected, because that’s how they’ve always been.

Over the last 3 months, I’ve found the space to breathe. To remember what inspires me. What makes me happy.
During that time another birthday came and went. I don’t celebrate my birthday, and simply ignored the day, and all the messages I got. People got upset. Deal with it. I don’t celebrate my birthday.

I’ve started looking for work again, I’m sure I’ll find something. The funniest thing is when I go for interviews and they ask me how much I was earning before, the interviewer is always disgusted when I tell them how much I was getting for my role. That makes me smile in sad sorta way.

Writing and film will always be my first love, but the truth of the matter is, I’m still stuck in a country where that’s harder than almost anything to make a living at.

I’m open to anything right now, as long as the money is good (or rather respectable), I miss human contact more than I thought I would, I still desire some sort of affection, but I’ve learned to live without it.

My New York goal is no closer, but the desire hasn’t faded one bit. It’s THE goal.

I know I’ve upset people by ignoring them, but if they paid attention and respected my choice, there should be zero reason to be upset with me. That’s the truth. Deal with it how you will.

I’ve been watching from afar, how the girl I once loved got engaged and knocked up a second time, how friends completed their studies, got boyfriends, got married, got divorced or just got got. I just didn’t comment like I used to do.

Am I back to writing? In a way yes, but as long as I feel the need to say something.

I offer no apologies. I expect no forgiveness.
We live our lives the only way we know how, we bravely make the foolish decisions, and we judge others for not being the right kind of person we expect them to be.

Now, does anyone know how to get paint out hair?

Meeting Bret “The Hitman” Hart – Part 2: Fate Steps In!

July 12, 2011

During Bret’s 13 years exodus from the WWE, there were many teases about his return in some capacity, but it never happened.

On Pay-Per-View nights, my friend Gordy and I had many conversations about THIS being the perfect angle for The Hitman to return…but he never did…time and time again we were left disappointed.

Then news started to filter about Hart dealing with the WWE again. Over the years DVDs and merchandise were released with Bret’s involvement…but still no on screen appearance.

In 2006, Bret got the much deserved call into the Hall of Fame…it was an epic night for the fans to see Bret get inducted, but Bret left straight afterwards and never made the traditional on stage performance at the following night’s WrestleMania.

Bret again disappeared.

Then…out of nowhere, an angle started up on RAW in December 2009…

WWE were running with a series of “Guest hosts” for RAW…from celebrities to former WWE stars. Vince McMahon teased that Bret Hart would be the one guy who would never guest host.

In a promo with Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels spoke the prophetic words of – “If you bring Bret Hart back, – good things will happen.”

Then January 4th 2010, Bret The Hitman Hart returned to the WWE. When his signature music hit…and the Hitman walked out after 13 years…I was in tears.

Bret buried the hatchet with longtime enemy Shawn Michaels…I was in tears.

Bret got involved in several storylines leading up to a matchup at Wrestlemania XXVI where Bret was given retribution against Vince McMahon. A good feeling for life long fans. With Hart family members at ringside (and the member of those we lost)…I was in tears.

The WWE played out further storylines with Bret as GM of RAW and eventually being taken out by the Rising youngsters including South Africa’s own Justin Gabriel – NEXUS. Bret was written off tv.

Nobody knew if that was it for Bret’s triumphant return, for months it seemed like it could be.

Then Bret was brought back for Summerslam in 2010, but used minimally. There was a Hitman tribute show on RAW a few weeks later, but by the end of 2010, the Hitman stepped away with his short term contract seemingly done.

Internet reports suggested Bret was done with the WWE.

Earlier this year, I found out the WWE would be returning to South Africa for a series of shows…of course this would involve the current roster of Superstars.

It was officially announced.

Meanwhile, in May 2011, during a PPV match between Hall of Famer, and long time friend/rival Jerry The King Lawler and Michael Cole, the Hitman stunningly made another return to WWE TV, and also appeared the next night on RAW.

I heard mumblings that Bret would be joining the Smackdown tour to South Africa in July! Surely it was just another in the long list of rumours that I’d heard about Hitman in my life.

I went straight to the source and tweeted @BretHart asking if this was true…and he replied IT WAS!

After last seeing the Hitman 15 years ago, I was going to get another chance to see my idol live…Meeting Bret was always a bucket list item for me, and suddenly there was a tiny window of opportunity to achieve this.

My personal struggle with the world over the last decade has been well documented, but the one thing that always kept me going was that I was a dreamer. I believed in the impossible, in beating the odds. However being a 33 year old single guy who still has dreams, and heroes is a weird juxtaposition in this day and age.

For the last few months in particular I had lost faith in the world. I had convinced myself that nothing good exists anymore, and that dreaming only leads to disappointment.

A few months ago, I posted a question on Facebook asking which three people you would love to invite to dinner. Some people went with the usual dead celebs, rocks stars, Nelson Mandela etc. My answer was – Leona Lewis, Johnny Depp and Bret The Hitman Hart.

I was determined to do what it takes to meet The Hitman this time around. Heck, I NEEDED this!

I organized tickets through a good soul, and knew I would see the Hitman in some capacity at the show at least, but I needed that handshake with the Hitman, I needed one conversation with him.

Being in the industry I’m in any knowing the people I know, I had a lot of contacts. Many of them casually promised they’d organize me a meet and great, or back stage passes, etc etc. All those sort of things people randomly say. As the Johannesburg dates grew closer and the Superstars arrived, those promises amounted to nothing.

I knew time was running short and if this was going to happen I needed a) a bit of luck and b) to do it myself.

The promoters had not organized any signings, so that was out.
Then it dawned on me to simply check the wwe.com website for “superstar appearances”…I did and slowly read

Cape Town – Justin Gabriel and Sin Cara signing at a toy store.
Cool…but damn!
Durban – The Big Show signing at a toy store.
Cool….but damn!
Johannesburg……Bret The Hitman Hart signing at a toy store.
Cool…but damn!

…..wait a second…
BRET THE HITMAN HART WOULD BE SIGNING IN JOHANNESBURG!!!!!!!

Out of all the superstars that could possibly appear at the Johannesburg signing it was the one person I wanted…the Gods of Fate were either smiling upon me…or teasing the hell outta me.

This if course was no guarantee I would even get close to him , I had been to many wrestler signings in the past, and they were mostly disasters.

Marc Mero & Sable – 4 hours in the baking hot sun…no photographs allowed.
Mark Henry – no photos allowed
Rikishi – just say hi and walk on.
JBL and Ivory – this was actually decent, I spoke to JBL for a bit.
Rey Mysterio and Kidman – just walk past and bump knuckles. No autographs or pictures.

I found out about the signing on Friday morning, and it was on Saturday. For the next 24 hours I felt sick to my stomach about everything that could go wrong. I tried to find someone to come with me, but nobody was interested. Story of my life right there.

On Friday night I looked at all my Hitman merchandise and wondered what should I attempt to get signed? Then as I looked at his autobiography it make perfect sense to that that. It was his story, which formed part of my story.

On Saturday I woke up later than I would of liked, and raced through to the shopping centre he was scheduled to appear at. It was a far drive, far enough to allow my mind to get the better of me. Should I turn around and not risk this turning into a bad experience? I don’t think I could handle that. Is the dream better than the reality?

I arrived, got parking, headed to the men’s room to dispose of my energy drink. And made my way to find the “spot”.

With relative ease I found the queue and it looked fairly short…good start!

Then however I noticed everyone in the queue had a “wwe ticket”. I asked what these were for and got told you have to have one to meet The Hitman. However to get a ticket you had to spend R200 at the store sponsoring the signing!

This was not advertised anywhere, and I happen to be someone who NEVER carries money.

I was heartbroken (excuse the pun), and immediately felt defeated. Then…in my George McFly moment, I raised my head up and with great confidence I went to the store and explained some of my story to them. The manager either feeling sympathy or fearing my beard organized me two tickets to go stand in the queue.

As I stood in line I began to wonder what exact I would say to Bret if I did in fact get to speak to him.

Do I tell him about that Battle Royal with Bad News Brown that made me a fan?
Do I quote his line I use almost daily? “Settle Down Anvil, settle down”
Do I tell him how he helped me through tragedy?
Do I ask him how he’s enjoying SA?
Do I just say “sup hitman”?

I thought I’d distract myself by taking some photos….

Which would have been a good idea if my digital camera hadn’t suddenly and inexplicably stopped working!

Panic set in…what was I going to go? The cameras on my phones were fine for close ups, but they would never be good enough for a pic with The Hitman!

Oh great.

They then allowed to queue to move forward right up to the desk where Hitman would be signing. As I looked at the queue I saw a few die-hard fans who were educated about the Hitman, but the crowd was mostly youngsters who were probably born 15 years ago. I knew I was the biggest fan there and smiled to myself thinking this was all just for me and Bret.

I asked the couple in front of me if they could taken a pic of me and Bret if possible and send it to me. They said sure.

Then a dear friend of mine happened to be in the centre and came and joined me. Oh great, nothing like a beautiful woman to see you at your geekiest as you try and justify why you are there. But she was awesome, and even decided to join me to meet him! As we shuffled through the hundred camera phones we tried to find something that would be the best.

The lady on the PA system announced that Bret Hart had arrived, and told us a few rules. No ticket no sign – check
Only one item allowed to be signed – check
You can take photos but can’t go behind the table – awkward but check.

Then, they pumped up some random hard rock music and out came Bret “The Hitman” Hart!!!!

He was wearing the black leather jacket and the sunglasses!!!!!

He got a warm reception. And took his place at the table…

I began to shake from what can only be described as a hybrid of excited and utter fear.

The line moved quickly and before I knew it, it was our turn. I let my friend go first, and took a picture of them with her phone, I felt almost blind though, so I don’t even know how her pic came out!

I saw the couple who was in front of me walk off, so much for them taking a picure and sending it to me!

As I walked up to Bret, 25 years of memories came flashing into my brain, and as I handed over my book in my shaky voice I said to him “Hitman, after 25 years I’ve thought what I would say to you if I ever met you, *he looked up at me*, and all I can think of is….thank you.”

He half smiled and said, “Well thank you for buying my book I appreciate it”

He then asked my name and signed the book to me. I asked for a photo and he extended his hand and shook mine.

At that exact moment my friend got the digital camera working and took the perfect picture of us.

I said thank you and enjoy the rest of the tour.

I didn’t look back, and simply walked off and got onto cloud number 9.

There are so few perfect moments left in life (especially mine). But this was the single greatest day of my life, and it took a series of events to perfectly align for it to happen.

For Bret it was just another of his millions of fans he’s met over the decades, and he won’t think about it for another second.

For me it was everything I needed it to be to believe in dreams again, and remind myself that there is a destiny out there waiting for me.