Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Cut From The Heart: Episode 8 – The Gamecube Girl & Excessive Blood Loss

November 20, 2013

During my call centre days, most of my social outings were with colleagues as we were all quite close. So things like movies, or dinners or parties would involve a lot of familiar work faces.

That’s probably the only thing I miss from that period of my life, so social aspect of it.

One such time was:

Bonus Story #8 – The Gamecube Girl

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Back in 2002, a bunch of us decided to go to the launch of the Gamecube gaming console which had an event at one of the local malls.

Since my tattoo artist happened to be in the same centre, I decided to get go get my second ever tattoo that morning and then spend some time with my mates playing games.

When we arrived, we all met up and decided how the day was going to unfold. What I wasn’t planning on, was the hot promo girls that were working the booths.

One in particular caught my eye, her name was Lorna (of course, I didn’t know this at the time, but my epic research skills would figure this out later).

Suddenly I was second guessing spending time getting a tattoo, while all the other guys got a head start with her in the queue.

But since  I had an appointment I didn’t wanna be the guy who didn’t pitch for a booked time. So I went to get my tattoo. It was to be a Roman numeral five on the back of my leg.

I took my rough design to the tattoo artist and gave told him to work his magic in magic it look good. However…things didn’t quite go as planned.

The tattoo artist was going through a divorce, and during my entire session he kept taking breaks to argue with his soon to be ex-wife on his mobile phone. It was probably the most uncomfortable tattoo session I’ve ever had. And the worst part was because of the placement of the tattoo, I spent about 90min standing on one leg.

Eventually the guy wrapped up the tattoo. And said he was done. As it was behind me, I couldn’t clearly see it, but trusted he took my rough sketch and at least added a bit of artist’s discretion to it. (He didn’t by the way…he literally inked it on as the rough sketch it was.)

At the time however, I was more concerned about getting back to the gaming expo to try my luck with the promo girl

When got back to my friends, they all asked to see my tattoo, and I’ll never forget as one guy said “dude, is it supposed to be bleeding so much?”

When I looked down, I could see the blood seeping through my tracksuit pants.

Anyways so began the 2o minute queuing sessions just so we could play 2 minutes of video games , of course these 2 minute session for me where about trying to win over the promo girl.

Each time we queued I was getting dizzier and dizzier as I continued to lose blood.

Finally my mates had said they’d had enough and were calling it a day. Pale as a ghost from the blood loss,  I tried to encourage them for one more round.

They didn’t stay.

So with no wingmen left, I called it day too. Disappointed in my effort.

2 weeks later however, I saw an advert saying the Gamecube expo was going to be at another shopping centre.

I managed to convince my friend Jared to come with me, and we headed out to Pretoria that week.

She was there!

But I think this time she avoided me a little more. I ironically ended up chatting more to her friends than to her, one of which was a former kid’s TV show host who ended up dating a friend of mine for a while.

I spent the next few weeks trying to make contact with her, eventually figuring out her email address and casually mailing her.

She showed no interest and the whole thing eventually died out rather quickly.

Every now and again I go see what she’s up to on Facebook.  As of last check, it seems like she’s living a happy life in London with her long term boyfriend.

However, every time I see the giant V on the back of my leg, I can’t help but to think back to her and that day I wouldn’t let a little excessive bleeding stop me from getting to know a girl.

I also found a new tattoo artist after that.

 

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Burg Love!

January 26, 2013

Burg Love!

Hello BurgWorld followers …I’m baaaaack, just out my brand new blog site Burg Love! Making Friends and Offending People…and subscribe if you wouldn’t mind. Burg

2012 in review

January 2, 2013

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 47,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 11 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

You Look Familiar…Have We Met Before?

September 26, 2012

I’m a rambling man. For the most part at least, but those ramblings often stem from a very linear train of thought, that is, until the train totally derails and I begin to over think things.

For the last week my mind has been focusing on one thing, or rather one person. It hasn’t been an obsessive sort of thinking though, which is a relief for a change. Instead, it’s been a more of growing thought. A seed if you will.

You see, this person I’m thinking of, our friendship is pretty black and white at face value. It’s just two people who get along, have a lot of similar interests and have similar views on the world. However, there is something else there…something lingering -something that existed before we even met. An intangible.

There is no possible way I could explain it without sounding like a nutcase, so I won’t even try and convince you. What I will do, is just write what I feel to be true to me.

We were meant to meet. And for all the talk of if only we had met a few years ago, the truth of the matter is, we probably did. Except it wasn’t a few years ago, it was slightly longer than that. I feel we have known each other from before we existed. I’ve always had the overwhelming feeling of not belonging, in this time, on this planet, in this life. It’s a nonsensical thought, which I don’t much preach about, but I know it to be true. This life I lead now feels like its making amends for some horrible existence I previously lead. I accepted that a long time ago. Perhaps in my next journey I will find peace and happiness and love. It certainly does not seem my path in this lifetime. It’s a crazy notion, I know.

People always talk about how I will meet the “right one” when I’m ready, or when it’s meant to be. But nobody ever entertains the thought of maybe I did already meet the right one.

Maybe…I met the one in a previous life, and we were perfectly happy, in time of romance, we did not know an ounce of sadness (and I was probably a little bit taller with the abs of a Greek warrior). And then we got ripped apart. Now, in another time, another space, we have met again. However, this time we are not allowed to be together. For whatever reasons may exist in this world.

Perhaps she may now be with the one who seemed a perfect fit. But what is the perfect fit? Is it someone who ticks all the boxes? What if there were more check boxes on the second page you never looked at? Someone who is even more of a fit, but because you settled, you never even knew there was a page two to look at.

Does one fight to restore the balance? Fight for a second chance at happiness? Does one walk away knowing that this lifetime it’s not meant to be…Does one move on to someone else? (because we know my life is filled with women who are interested in me right?)

These are all just thoughts. I obviously cannot prove a single element of this, nor should I need to.

My heart and soul are not always in sync with my brain, which leads to being misunderstood, and alone for the most part. … There are times I think I’m just that lonely that I constantly try and look for reasoning behind my heart ache. The other day, a friend mailed me and said she had a dream that I was had a blonde girlfriend and I was happy and that she hoped it was a sign of something to come. My immediate response was “hopefully that was a wig”.

People will laugh at this blog, I’m sure, perhaps even try and force me to rationalize it, which is fine. I get that it’s near impossible for you to believe. In the end, life goes on, till the next one at least.

From Cape Town With Love

September 16, 2012

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It had been over three years since I had last visited Cape Town, and each time prior to this visit, my travels here comprised of nothing more than a “Friday work day, and a weekend for myself”…So when I planned on coming down this time, I planned a little more, and managed to turn it into a “five working day and weekend for myself” trip

Well, the work side of it certainly took care of its self and I ended up being so busy that my devious little plan to take some time for myself during those working days, simply just didn’t happen…however, that turned to be the biggest blessing in disguise.

My trip here was always two fold.

Firstly, I quite simply needed to breathe new air for a bit. Joburg was getting the best of me in so many ways, and I felt the anxiety settling in big time, I needed to get out for a bit, for everyone’s sanity.
Secondly, I wanted to test the waters in terms of working out the Cape Town office. As part of my overall smaller dreams bigger wins strategy, I wanted to see how effectively working out the CT office would prove. And lo and behold, I got probably about three times more work done in this week than I would of done back in JHB.

Most of my closest friends are down here and I’m glad I got to see them, some people really went out their way to make me feel welcome, and that goes so far in my book, If I couldn’t make it to where people where, they came and fetched me. Gestures of friendship are not lost on me, and I ensured that while I was down here I reignited my #BurgMoments lifestyle in full force, in fact I have setup several of these moments to take place after I leave this evening, in the hope that I will have left some tiny part of Burg magic in the City that has been so good to me.

Of course, the trip was not without its typical “pulling a burg” moments, which so often define my adventures, so if you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share some of the highlights….
There’s nothing quite like a first day in a different city, as basic logic always seems to disappear and you seem to make the silliest of errors. Starting with my rental car…that took me 20minutes to start, because I couldn’t figure out how to switch on the damn ignition. So there I say quietly in my parking bay, trying not to look like a complete idiot, sometimes pretending to be on my phone with one hand, while the other frantically searched for some sort of switch or immobilizer that may be the trick to switching it on. Little did I realize, to start the car, it simply needed to be in gear. Pfff…technology.

That same night, I also managed to lock myself out the house, taking a walk down to KFC, and returning to the house only to realize I didn’t quite have all the keys I needed. I phoned a colleague who confirmed this to indeed be fact. As I waited calmly eating my chicken in the road, in the dark, and cold…she phoned me back with the genius idea of walking around the house and using the other door…which I had keys for.

One the Wednesday, I decided to take in preparation for my conference the next day, in order to see the venue beforehand and if it was walkable. I left with a colleague at about 5.30pm and took a breezy walk a few blocks down. Eventually spotting the conference centre from a distance, it was in fact walkable, but certainly not from the route I took, but happy with the fact that I know knew where it was, I headed back. Back where however, I’m not quite suite, as I didn’t realize I did not keep track of where I actually was. So what proceed was a looooot of walking to try and find my bearings. As the night got darker, and colder, I ended up being followed by a homeless man, swearing at me constantly for no reason. Ironically we would both make our way to the local homeless shelter, he was happy, I wasn’t. If anything, my walkabout took me to places I wouldn’t normally see, including the recent World Cup stadium . From there I made my way to the V&Waterfront shopping complex where I eventually was able to retrace my steps back to the home office. Now, ordinarily, a two hour getting lost walk is a great thing for me. However, because I had only planned on popping down the block and back, I had made the decision to wear my slip slops (sandals), the devastation caused by this decision is still being felt as I type this. I have no skin left on the top of my feet, and bubble blisters underneath them! I still walked to the conference the next day, and did several Km’s over the proceeded days, which each and every pair of socks being drenched in blood that poured out my feet. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like having to peel a pair of socks off your feet and getting to do it all over again the next day.

There is one last story I would like to share with you…

You see, I knew coming down here I would see a lot of old friends, however, I didn’t plan on making a new one…but boy oh boy did I.

I’m pretty easy to get along with for the most part, but every now and again I find someone I connect with on the clichéd “another level”. I can generally sense these people immediately, and just know that there is something there that needs to be explored. Such was the case with the person I met purely by chance I guess. We didn’t really talk much as first, but there was something lingering there. Something that needed to be tapped into, which we did, and much like her; it was nothing short of beautiful.

We did lunch, we chatted so much, we had so many revealing conversations about things we both loved and desired in the world, however the entire time there was this cloud of finality hanging over over…I would be leaving soon and this was all going to be over way too soon. She said she wished I could stick around longer, which just made my heart jump with joy. I wished that too. But the reality of our lives could not turn this into anything more. As the days went on, in typical Burg fashion, I found myself falling for her more and more each day, but not just her, rather the way she made me feel, and believe in my own dreams and desires again. The whole scenario played out much like an extended version of Before Sunrise/Sunset.

We spent most of Saturday together, where I got to meet some people in her life, including the reality check of the husband, who is one of those seemingly nice guys who makes you immediately think “well, there’s no way I can compete with this guy”. Then you immediately think well, I was never in with a chance anyways. Not that there was a chance of anything of course, but its just the head games one tends to play with ones self.

He eventually had to pop out for a while, and finally I got to just spend some alone time with her, we walked back to her place, and as much pain as I was in from my bleeding feet, it just disappeared when I was around her. We fetched a few things from the house then headed back to the beach, quite prepared for another painful walk, I was so happy that we were just together, then of course, that feeling was quickly replaced with disappointment as the honk honk of her husband in the car shorted our trip as he arrived to give us a lift back. My heart sunk, but my fake smile and humour came to my defence…

As the universe would have it, I ended up being stuck with him for a few hours, while she went surfing…. So here we are, two men laying on beach towels getting to know each other. I realized there is never a right time to say “hey, I’m falling for your wife, so just wanted to make sure that’s cool with you”…, so I just sat there getting more and more miserable, but never showing it, and instead offering genuine conversation and polite to the bitter end.

When she did return from the surf, a ray of sunshine brighter than the day’s sun that was beating down on me, they decided to call it a day and invited me to join them for dinner. Knowing I just couldn’t possibly torture myself anymore, I made an excuse to leave, and that I had someone else to see, then headed back. I didn’t have other plans.

Selfishly, I kept hoping she would send me a message asking if I was ok, or thanking me for coming or even “apologizing” for leaving me alone for so long, but none of that came…until about 2 hours later when I got a Facebook message asking if I had perhaps taken her phone. She had lost it….of course. The universe just loves playing these jokes on me doesn’t it.

As I sit here now typing this, I can’t help but wonder, was that it? Was that all I would be allowed with her? And as thankful as I am for the unexpected friendship, I find myself consumed with thoughts of “what ifs”, if I had said something else, taken a chance, just done something out of the ordinary…would it have made a difference? Would it have made a fool of me? I just don’t know. But for someone who lives by the words “Live For The Moments”, this is one that is stapled to my heart.

I’m a romantic, i’m a dreamer, but im also a realist and I know exactly how this story ends. I don’t begrudge these feelings at all, and I know that if our paths are meant to cross again, they will, in this lifetime or the next.

The truth is, I could write about her for hours, but the rest of the memories will be for me. So all that is left to say is…

Thank you Cape Town…we will do it all again in December…

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

September 3, 2012

If I have one flaw…it’s that I can be quite contradictory depending on my mood. (If I have two flaws, the other is probably my humility)….

And if there’s something that a run of bad health and stress does to a person, it gives one perspective, and an appreciation for what and who is in your life, and subsequently, who is missing from your life.

Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself really searching for some sort of comfort in friendships. And in the great spirit of burying the hatchet, and extending the olive branch, I’ve tried to make peace with those friendships I’ve thought lost.

However, some instances have been a complete shock to the system, and here’s where the contradiction part comes into play.

I’ve always said that I don’t give a hoot (owl speak) about how people think of me, and that I will always continue to live my life by my rules (geez give me a leather jacket and motorcycle and I’m a 50s rebel). However, recently I found out that there are those I once thought of as friends just don’t like me (anymore).

Hold the phone….someone doesn’t like me???

I know right…that’s just madness.

Off course, I can’t leave well enough alone and pursued these now former friends to find some sort of reasoning.
This first told me that she felt that I had used her has some sort of experiment to entertain the “new me”, and that I was arrogant about my ways in doing so…which struck me as just plain old bizarre seeing as they all we did was meet up for a fruit juice one evening when she was in the country and reminisce about the old days, then say our goodbyes about an hour later. How very arrogant of me I guess…making the effort to see an old friend when they visiting the country sure isn’t what it used to be I guess.

The second I had seen often over the years, but we had had a falling out while back because she didn’t like the fact that I didn’t like advice she had given me…

I had in the meantime become friends with one of her friends, who I still chatted with. I often asked about our common friend but never got much response.

So I mailed my long lost friend saying I missed our pop culture chats and such. The reply I got back was certainly not what I expected. She went on to say how I spoke shiz about her and called her psycho to her friend. I confronted the friend and showed the chat history, which she immediately denied and then said this is all so childish and she doesn’t want to get involved. It went back and forth a little bit, but essentially, I became the odd man out, and it was clear that the friendship was over based on a lie and hearsay.

Now, why am I so bothered about not being liked? I know I can’t be liked by everyone, and I’m certainly not the easiest person to be friends with, but there is something that bugs me to the core about people who have the complete wrong opinion of me, or allow other’s to make up their minds for then.

I like to be liked, but when someone doesn’t I just can’t let up until I know why.

There has thankfully been some really good outcomes with some friendships that have been given a second chance, which gives me hope, hope that you will always have the people in your life you are meant to have, and that sorry does still mean something to some people.

Can’t we all just get along?

It’s The Way…

June 6, 2012

It’s the way it feels when you say hello and good morning
It’s the way your emoticons are always yawning

It’s the way you look when you wear a dress
It’s the way you fold your scarf, never in a mess

It’s the way you put one finger on your lip when you’re concentrating on reading
It’s the way you lean to the left when with a pen you are writing

It’s the way you hold your sleeves in your hands
It’s the way your hair falls on your face, just the way it lands

It’s the way your jersey falls off your shoulders, the most attractive sight in the world.
It’s the way you are so unassuming, but never overly bold

It’s the way you shuffle when you’re in a hurry,
It’s the way its not a run, but more of a scurry

It’s the way you secretly love reggae
It’s the way you say the word honey, (a word I generally hate hey)

It’s the way your knife and fork clink against the plate when you’re eating
It’s the way you feel about going into a meeting

It’s the way you laugh when telling a story 
It’s the way you could never bore me

It’s the way it feels when you high 5 me
It’s the way it feels when you hug me

It’s the way it feels when we talk
It’s the way it feels when we don’t talk

It’s the way it feels when you walk away,
It’s the way it feels when you say goodbye or leave for the day

It’s the way my heart feels about pretending
It’s the way this list could never have an ending…

Back to the drawing board….

May 31, 2012

There is nothing left to say….

I need to Rethink. Reboot. Reset.

Restart.

……so I shall.

Life goes on.

Not Seeing The French Alps Changed My Life… (Part 1)

March 14, 2012

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It’s a sad state of affairs when you keep calling yourself a writer, yet the length of time between you actually writing something seemingly gets longer as the months and even years float by. I laugh at myself these days when I tell people I’m a writer. It almost seems like a lie. A well intentioned lie, but a lie none the less.

 

The most common question people ask me when I say I can’t write lately is “why?”

 

It’s such a layered question to answer. The simple answer is I’m not inspired.

 

That is the truth though. I’m not inspired in my life. In my career, in my friendships, or even in my dreams (so much for those dream & desire tattoos in my arms eh?). As a writer I should push myself to find ways to overcome that problem.

 

Finding inspiration is so difficult for me lately. Even my rant blogs don’t appeal to me anymore.

 

I have a hundred stories floating around in my head and yet can’t seem to translate them to paper. (or MS Word as the times would have it). The worst part is, I know those stories are good. Damn good.

 

It’s not hard to tell you what inspires me. It’s people. It’s person. It’s places. It’s place. It’s the impossible. It’s the dreams. It’s the desires. All wonderfully broad terms, yet their exact meanings are very clear to me.

 

When I was kid, I used to win the school book prize every year, (bar one or two), and the prize was always an amazing reference book of some sort, filled with history, places, people…things as a child you would only see in a book. I used to stare at those pictures, and touch them trying to put myself in that place or time and imagine a world so different from the one I was living. It brought me peace, and calmed me to the point of knowing exactly what I wanted out of life. I wanted to leave the place I was in. Be inspired by the world around me.

 

Fast forward 20 years…and I’m still in the same room. In the same house. In the same street. In the same neighbourhood. In the same country. I’m seeing the same person every day. I have the same conversations. I’m reliving the same drama over and over.

 

This week however, I felt a flame begin to burn inside me.

 

I can pinpoint it to seeing a picture someone posted on Facebook.

 

A picture of a particular friend (who I’ve never even met mind you) in the French Alps. It was so beautiful it saddened me…but as I looked at that picture, I touched it on my screen and I had that same feeling come over me that I had as a child. The want for a different world.

 

So I have a plan. A plan to breathe new life into my world…and perhaps even into those around me…it’s as outrageous as it should be from me.

 

Stay tuned…I will let you all know in part 2 of this blog how this effects all of us!

The Sign says…

April 28, 2011