We both know why, maybe it’s an embarrassment thing, or an ego thing, but I guess we just been trying to ignore the obvious.
Truth be told, I miss you. A lot! I miss my friend first and foremost.
Even Super Girl and Black Canary have been asking me what’s happened. So it’s become something that people have noticed – which I know you hate, because you just want to go about your daily tasks of helping the humans on earth, and not draw dagger stares from those in the league who like to toot my horn.
I blame myself for this situation.
Gotta be honest here Hawks, I really think I messed things up for myself, and I’m worried it’s beyond repair.
I have issues around women…especially those who…ok well; let me rather start at the beginning.
I’ll never forget that day some 2 and half years ago…we were both fairly new to the Justice League, and you were sent down from your planet for one of Batman’s dreaded debriefings (sometimes they come across as damn sales meetings). I was asked to sit in to see how it all works…and there I noticed you sitting next to Power Girl… you were wearing an animal print outfit and a yellow utility belt, that’s when everything became slow motion and I just melted.
Then you went back to Thanagar. And I was left to go on with my life…I didn’t think we’d ever work an assignment together.
The boys here at the Watchtower mocked me about my crush on you…but it was never an issue really…how could it be right? Id only seen you once.
Over the years we became interplanetary email buddies, you on Thanagar and me here on Earth.
Then I overheard Batman and the Man of Steel talking about how your powers would be a great asset here on Earth.
You and I both bonded over this news. I felt an excitement in me, (which can be embarrassing considering my limbs can stretch at will!)
The thought of seeing you every day and getting to know you on another level, man alive…the Gods were on my side for a change.
I remember the “seek and observe” assignment we were both given back in April, you remember when we thought Animal Man had switched sides and was working for the Injustice League??
Man the guy may have issues, but he’s on our side. And I know you had a thing with him back in the day…so I ended up being jealous, and couldn’t wait to expose him as a traitor. ( but deep down it was about making you happy that weekend)
When you finally got reassigned to Earth a few months ago, I was like a schoolboy again (see I previously had a thing for Catwoman, and while nothing happened, it was so draining, that I had become a bit cold to the *ahem* opposite sex).
We got along so well you and I.
Our private jokes about the other superheroes who thought their powers were better than ours…good times!
I knew something was changing however.
I tried to avoid it, nay stop it… I really did.
There was no denying it, and despite warnings (some out of concern, others out of jealousy), I began to fall for you.
I didn’t want that to happen, because hey, lets be honest here, Guys like me…they don’t get girls like you.
Last week of course we had our Super Villain seminar that The Flash put together in an attempt to get us all on the same page – Lord knows crime fighting has changed.
We spent so much time together, there was a definite awkwardness I could feel coming from you… I knew something was up. But then on Day 2 of the Super Villain seminar, all my fears were realized. When you were so close to me, and I looked into your eyes, I knew that was it for me.
That was the exact moment I fell in love with you.
When I watched the surveillance video of the seminar, I realized how absolutely perfect you were….and how flawed I was. Confidence plummeted. (yes despite you saying you can’t fit into your cape and tights some days, to me, I had never seen someone so beautiful).
Then earlier this week I heard you were going to see Animal Man again at the annual Superhero Convention…I panicked, what if he was setting you up…No…this couldn’t happen. You deserved better!
I tried to warn you against him and ended up coming across as a jealous A-hole. Then in a passing comment you said something which shattered me completely – you were seeing Aquaman.
The world stopped…I didn’t even notice the attack by Starro on the Australian Reef…I was numb.
Being the guy who is always funny and keeping others entertained comes with a price behind the scenes. There is no place for personal hurt.
Plus as you know Wonder Women was leaving the Justice League this week, and she’s one of my dearest friends. I felt like I was about to lose everything in the space of a few days. I began to swing emotionally.
I closed up….and I’m hurting so badly because of my own silly heart and I know it’s not because of you’re actiona, you’re just living your life , and I don’t begrudge you at all…Aquaman is an awesome guy, and if he makes you happy… I really am happy for you. I did have a feeling your mates Red Tornado & Red Tornado II were trying to set you up with someone…but I didn’t think it would be Aquaman!
Deep down I know all the nice moments we shared, the little things like the ice coffee while we checked out super villains personal files, the stealing of Martian Manhunter’s candy coated sweets when we had a craving, and the gifts we gave each other, they were all just done because you are a genuinely nice person.
I’d never had that sorta attention before… I mistook it as the “signs” Green Arrow always talks about which women supposedly give us guys.
Hawkgirl – these last few days we have hardly said a word to each other and it’s killed me. You don’t visit, you don’t look me in the eye, and you don’t email me random things like we ALWAYS do…
So I’m writing you this letter…I don’t even know if you will read it…
What I do know is you don’t know how to react to me, and I don’t know what else to do.
All I can say is that I will lock away my feelings for you, I just want to be your friend again, your happiness is so important to me, and I don’t want to be the cause of any sorta tension here at the Watchtower, Bats would have my ass if I missed another invasion.
If you read this…and you want to talk. Please message me. You know where to find me. If you don’t…I guess I’ll just go on hiding in the men’s locker room every time you come past.
I joke, I joke.
The fate of the known world depends on us.