Hello BurgWorld followers …I’m baaaaack, just out my brand new blog site Burg Love! Making Friends and Offending People…and subscribe if you wouldn’t mind. Burg
Posts Tagged ‘blog’
Over three years of my life
Over 150 posts
Over 500 comments
Over 130,000 views.
Not bad for a guy sitting in his room in Kempton Park, South Africa, writing his little blog.
I say these stats with pride, because I worked hard at the blog, I tried to make it something different to what’s out there, and I hope I achieved that in some small way.
I’ve shared EVERYTHING. Good and bad, tragic and triumphant. I’ve made enemies, I’ve lost friends, and I’ve gained respect and thanks. All because of the words I chose to use.
I’ve always said I was blogging before blogging was a word, which is partly the reason I have decided to call it a day as far as being a blogger is concerned. I have shared every aspect of my life with people, left no stone unturned, and this was bound to lead me to this point. Where I feel I have nothing left to write about. This is not a sudden decision, as the thought has been in my head for a while to end it. I think my birthday last week left me with a sense of its ok to let it go.
After each blog I was left more and more drained, and the pressure I put on myself to come up with something new to write about was immense, and it should never be that way.
I love being a writer. It’s what I am. However, now I feel like it is time to let go of this blog and move onto other types of writing. More creative story telling I guess, I will certainly maintain my style in other projects I pursue, and will always look back fondly at this blog as something that added so much value to my life (and maybe yours).
I thank the loyal readers, I thank the haters, I thank everyone that took time to message me publically or privately with their thoughts, concerns, complaints or whatever emotion my blog brought out in you. That was always the intention.
And unlike the 5th season of 21 Jump Street, I will not stay around longer than I’m welcome; I will not get stuck in a mode of repetition. I will leave this blog with my head held high, with a feeling of I came, I saw, I conquered.
October has been a very telling month for me personally and I’ve decided to close a lot of chapters in my life, ironically November has the makings of being a game changer for me. I hope it leads to inspiration, confidence and a push in the right direction as the writer I am meant to be. I will continue to be inspired by an elite few, those who I love, those who I cannot be with, and those who I strive to prove wrong.
So thanks for being part of Burgs World…I hope you come back and revisit some of the many stories I have shared with you over the last three years or so, they will forever be part of my body of work, and if you’d like to follow what I do next…well, hopefully my work will find you.
I’m a rambling man. For the most part at least, but those ramblings often stem from a very linear train of thought, that is, until the train totally derails and I begin to over think things.
For the last week my mind has been focusing on one thing, or rather one person. It hasn’t been an obsessive sort of thinking though, which is a relief for a change. Instead, it’s been a more of growing thought. A seed if you will.
You see, this person I’m thinking of, our friendship is pretty black and white at face value. It’s just two people who get along, have a lot of similar interests and have similar views on the world. However, there is something else there…something lingering -something that existed before we even met. An intangible.
There is no possible way I could explain it without sounding like a nutcase, so I won’t even try and convince you. What I will do, is just write what I feel to be true to me.
We were meant to meet. And for all the talk of if only we had met a few years ago, the truth of the matter is, we probably did. Except it wasn’t a few years ago, it was slightly longer than that. I feel we have known each other from before we existed. I’ve always had the overwhelming feeling of not belonging, in this time, on this planet, in this life. It’s a nonsensical thought, which I don’t much preach about, but I know it to be true. This life I lead now feels like its making amends for some horrible existence I previously lead. I accepted that a long time ago. Perhaps in my next journey I will find peace and happiness and love. It certainly does not seem my path in this lifetime. It’s a crazy notion, I know.
People always talk about how I will meet the “right one” when I’m ready, or when it’s meant to be. But nobody ever entertains the thought of maybe I did already meet the right one.
Maybe…I met the one in a previous life, and we were perfectly happy, in time of romance, we did not know an ounce of sadness (and I was probably a little bit taller with the abs of a Greek warrior). And then we got ripped apart. Now, in another time, another space, we have met again. However, this time we are not allowed to be together. For whatever reasons may exist in this world.
Perhaps she may now be with the one who seemed a perfect fit. But what is the perfect fit? Is it someone who ticks all the boxes? What if there were more check boxes on the second page you never looked at? Someone who is even more of a fit, but because you settled, you never even knew there was a page two to look at.
Does one fight to restore the balance? Fight for a second chance at happiness? Does one walk away knowing that this lifetime it’s not meant to be…Does one move on to someone else? (because we know my life is filled with women who are interested in me right?)
These are all just thoughts. I obviously cannot prove a single element of this, nor should I need to.
My heart and soul are not always in sync with my brain, which leads to being misunderstood, and alone for the most part. … There are times I think I’m just that lonely that I constantly try and look for reasoning behind my heart ache. The other day, a friend mailed me and said she had a dream that I was had a blonde girlfriend and I was happy and that she hoped it was a sign of something to come. My immediate response was “hopefully that was a wig”.
People will laugh at this blog, I’m sure, perhaps even try and force me to rationalize it, which is fine. I get that it’s near impossible for you to believe. In the end, life goes on, till the next one at least.
It had been over three years since I had last visited Cape Town, and each time prior to this visit, my travels here comprised of nothing more than a “Friday work day, and a weekend for myself”…So when I planned on coming down this time, I planned a little more, and managed to turn it into a “five working day and weekend for myself” trip
Well, the work side of it certainly took care of its self and I ended up being so busy that my devious little plan to take some time for myself during those working days, simply just didn’t happen…however, that turned to be the biggest blessing in disguise.
My trip here was always two fold.
Firstly, I quite simply needed to breathe new air for a bit. Joburg was getting the best of me in so many ways, and I felt the anxiety settling in big time, I needed to get out for a bit, for everyone’s sanity.
Secondly, I wanted to test the waters in terms of working out the Cape Town office. As part of my overall smaller dreams bigger wins strategy, I wanted to see how effectively working out the CT office would prove. And lo and behold, I got probably about three times more work done in this week than I would of done back in JHB.
Most of my closest friends are down here and I’m glad I got to see them, some people really went out their way to make me feel welcome, and that goes so far in my book, If I couldn’t make it to where people where, they came and fetched me. Gestures of friendship are not lost on me, and I ensured that while I was down here I reignited my #BurgMoments lifestyle in full force, in fact I have setup several of these moments to take place after I leave this evening, in the hope that I will have left some tiny part of Burg magic in the City that has been so good to me.
Of course, the trip was not without its typical “pulling a burg” moments, which so often define my adventures, so if you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share some of the highlights….
There’s nothing quite like a first day in a different city, as basic logic always seems to disappear and you seem to make the silliest of errors. Starting with my rental car…that took me 20minutes to start, because I couldn’t figure out how to switch on the damn ignition. So there I say quietly in my parking bay, trying not to look like a complete idiot, sometimes pretending to be on my phone with one hand, while the other frantically searched for some sort of switch or immobilizer that may be the trick to switching it on. Little did I realize, to start the car, it simply needed to be in gear. Pfff…technology.
That same night, I also managed to lock myself out the house, taking a walk down to KFC, and returning to the house only to realize I didn’t quite have all the keys I needed. I phoned a colleague who confirmed this to indeed be fact. As I waited calmly eating my chicken in the road, in the dark, and cold…she phoned me back with the genius idea of walking around the house and using the other door…which I had keys for.
One the Wednesday, I decided to take in preparation for my conference the next day, in order to see the venue beforehand and if it was walkable. I left with a colleague at about 5.30pm and took a breezy walk a few blocks down. Eventually spotting the conference centre from a distance, it was in fact walkable, but certainly not from the route I took, but happy with the fact that I know knew where it was, I headed back. Back where however, I’m not quite suite, as I didn’t realize I did not keep track of where I actually was. So what proceed was a looooot of walking to try and find my bearings. As the night got darker, and colder, I ended up being followed by a homeless man, swearing at me constantly for no reason. Ironically we would both make our way to the local homeless shelter, he was happy, I wasn’t. If anything, my walkabout took me to places I wouldn’t normally see, including the recent World Cup stadium . From there I made my way to the V&Waterfront shopping complex where I eventually was able to retrace my steps back to the home office. Now, ordinarily, a two hour getting lost walk is a great thing for me. However, because I had only planned on popping down the block and back, I had made the decision to wear my slip slops (sandals), the devastation caused by this decision is still being felt as I type this. I have no skin left on the top of my feet, and bubble blisters underneath them! I still walked to the conference the next day, and did several Km’s over the proceeded days, which each and every pair of socks being drenched in blood that poured out my feet. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like having to peel a pair of socks off your feet and getting to do it all over again the next day.
There is one last story I would like to share with you…
You see, I knew coming down here I would see a lot of old friends, however, I didn’t plan on making a new one…but boy oh boy did I.
I’m pretty easy to get along with for the most part, but every now and again I find someone I connect with on the clichéd “another level”. I can generally sense these people immediately, and just know that there is something there that needs to be explored. Such was the case with the person I met purely by chance I guess. We didn’t really talk much as first, but there was something lingering there. Something that needed to be tapped into, which we did, and much like her; it was nothing short of beautiful.
We did lunch, we chatted so much, we had so many revealing conversations about things we both loved and desired in the world, however the entire time there was this cloud of finality hanging over over…I would be leaving soon and this was all going to be over way too soon. She said she wished I could stick around longer, which just made my heart jump with joy. I wished that too. But the reality of our lives could not turn this into anything more. As the days went on, in typical Burg fashion, I found myself falling for her more and more each day, but not just her, rather the way she made me feel, and believe in my own dreams and desires again. The whole scenario played out much like an extended version of Before Sunrise/Sunset.
We spent most of Saturday together, where I got to meet some people in her life, including the reality check of the husband, who is one of those seemingly nice guys who makes you immediately think “well, there’s no way I can compete with this guy”. Then you immediately think well, I was never in with a chance anyways. Not that there was a chance of anything of course, but its just the head games one tends to play with ones self.
He eventually had to pop out for a while, and finally I got to just spend some alone time with her, we walked back to her place, and as much pain as I was in from my bleeding feet, it just disappeared when I was around her. We fetched a few things from the house then headed back to the beach, quite prepared for another painful walk, I was so happy that we were just together, then of course, that feeling was quickly replaced with disappointment as the honk honk of her husband in the car shorted our trip as he arrived to give us a lift back. My heart sunk, but my fake smile and humour came to my defence…
As the universe would have it, I ended up being stuck with him for a few hours, while she went surfing…. So here we are, two men laying on beach towels getting to know each other. I realized there is never a right time to say “hey, I’m falling for your wife, so just wanted to make sure that’s cool with you”…, so I just sat there getting more and more miserable, but never showing it, and instead offering genuine conversation and polite to the bitter end.
When she did return from the surf, a ray of sunshine brighter than the day’s sun that was beating down on me, they decided to call it a day and invited me to join them for dinner. Knowing I just couldn’t possibly torture myself anymore, I made an excuse to leave, and that I had someone else to see, then headed back. I didn’t have other plans.
Selfishly, I kept hoping she would send me a message asking if I was ok, or thanking me for coming or even “apologizing” for leaving me alone for so long, but none of that came…until about 2 hours later when I got a Facebook message asking if I had perhaps taken her phone. She had lost it….of course. The universe just loves playing these jokes on me doesn’t it.
As I sit here now typing this, I can’t help but wonder, was that it? Was that all I would be allowed with her? And as thankful as I am for the unexpected friendship, I find myself consumed with thoughts of “what ifs”, if I had said something else, taken a chance, just done something out of the ordinary…would it have made a difference? Would it have made a fool of me? I just don’t know. But for someone who lives by the words “Live For The Moments”, this is one that is stapled to my heart.
I’m a romantic, i’m a dreamer, but im also a realist and I know exactly how this story ends. I don’t begrudge these feelings at all, and I know that if our paths are meant to cross again, they will, in this lifetime or the next.
The truth is, I could write about her for hours, but the rest of the memories will be for me. So all that is left to say is…
Thank you Cape Town…we will do it all again in December…
If I have one flaw…it’s that I can be quite contradictory depending on my mood. (If I have two flaws, the other is probably my humility)….
And if there’s something that a run of bad health and stress does to a person, it gives one perspective, and an appreciation for what and who is in your life, and subsequently, who is missing from your life.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself really searching for some sort of comfort in friendships. And in the great spirit of burying the hatchet, and extending the olive branch, I’ve tried to make peace with those friendships I’ve thought lost.
However, some instances have been a complete shock to the system, and here’s where the contradiction part comes into play.
I’ve always said that I don’t give a hoot (owl speak) about how people think of me, and that I will always continue to live my life by my rules (geez give me a leather jacket and motorcycle and I’m a 50s rebel). However, recently I found out that there are those I once thought of as friends just don’t like me (anymore).
Hold the phone….someone doesn’t like me???
I know right…that’s just madness.
Off course, I can’t leave well enough alone and pursued these now former friends to find some sort of reasoning.
This first told me that she felt that I had used her has some sort of experiment to entertain the “new me”, and that I was arrogant about my ways in doing so…which struck me as just plain old bizarre seeing as they all we did was meet up for a fruit juice one evening when she was in the country and reminisce about the old days, then say our goodbyes about an hour later. How very arrogant of me I guess…making the effort to see an old friend when they visiting the country sure isn’t what it used to be I guess.
The second I had seen often over the years, but we had had a falling out while back because she didn’t like the fact that I didn’t like advice she had given me…
I had in the meantime become friends with one of her friends, who I still chatted with. I often asked about our common friend but never got much response.
So I mailed my long lost friend saying I missed our pop culture chats and such. The reply I got back was certainly not what I expected. She went on to say how I spoke shiz about her and called her psycho to her friend. I confronted the friend and showed the chat history, which she immediately denied and then said this is all so childish and she doesn’t want to get involved. It went back and forth a little bit, but essentially, I became the odd man out, and it was clear that the friendship was over based on a lie and hearsay.
Now, why am I so bothered about not being liked? I know I can’t be liked by everyone, and I’m certainly not the easiest person to be friends with, but there is something that bugs me to the core about people who have the complete wrong opinion of me, or allow other’s to make up their minds for then.
I like to be liked, but when someone doesn’t I just can’t let up until I know why.
There has thankfully been some really good outcomes with some friendships that have been given a second chance, which gives me hope, hope that you will always have the people in your life you are meant to have, and that sorry does still mean something to some people.
Can’t we all just get along?
If you’ve ever worked in an office, you’ve probably used a variation of the line, “It would be so perfect if it weren’t for just one person there…”
I’ve worked in at least 10 different office environments, in different industries, in my time and each and every place has had at least that one person who ruins your entire working experiences at that job because of their annoying habits.
I’d like to now pay tribute to those clichéd colleagues who we affectionately think back on as and say “Every office at least one…”
Of course, those of us who just have plain ol’bad luck can sometimes be subjected to individuals who have a rare combination of the below traits, but I guarantee you will come across someone you recognize here, no matter where you work.
With that, I’d like to present to you my Top 14 Countdown of clichéd colleagues.
14. The Name Dropper
I’m not even talking about a celebrity name dropper here…that would still be understandable to a point in an office environment. This type of name dropper is a far deadlier species…they are the kinds of person you will tell you all about Roger’s argument he had with the checkout employee at the local supermarket this weekend. Or about Betty’s decision to put her mom in a home during the Easter holidays. Who are Roger and Betty you may ask? Exactly. Name Droppers are presumptuous enough to tell us stories involving their friends who you don’t know from a bar of soap as if they were the cast of a well known tv sitcom, who we all should know.
13. The “Grey’s Anatomy” Chick
“OMG! Did you catch Grey’s last night! McDreamy was such a b@stard!”… A variation of this evening salvo is becoming a common problem in the work place these days. Before Peg from accounting has even put her handbag down in the morning, she is still fuming from last night’s drama, which no real drama can ever compare to. The Grey’s Anatomy Chick, may also be known as The Survivor Chick, and now also as The MasterChef Chick.
12. The Not As Funny As He Thinks He Is Guy
For every likeable prankster in the office, there is always his evil office twin, the douche bag comedian. His jokes are normally predetermined well in advance in case the moment ever arrives where he can use his “witty one liner” or bad pun. However, there is NEVER a right moment. In desperation, this comedian can often resort to a funny voices, and fart jokes to get a laugh out of people. His bag of material is paper thin, so expect him to recycle many of his jokes. WARNING: DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM with sympathy laughter.
11. The Pervert
There is sexual innuendo in everything for this guy. You could be making copies of the monthly financial report, and The Pervert would be like “So…you like …multiplying…don’t you?” The Pervert is also unable to stay focused on work for long periods of time, so if you need something done, get it done quick, before you suddenly have to “check the ass out on that one…If I just had 5 minutes alone with her!” And yes, The Pervert is often immune to any sort of office discipline (you like to be disciplined…don’t you), however, this should not stop you from lodging a complaint…the only draw back is that he will think you are playing hard to get. The Female version does exist, however they are rare, and often disguised as plus sized women.
10. The Mail Forwarder
Motivationals, K-Mart shoppers, Daily Horoscopes and the old favourite – “send this back to me…and 5 friends, and see your luck change” forwards are a clear indication you are on a mailing list you will never get off for the rest of your time at that particular job. The Mail Forwarder is smart, and strikes early, normally within you first week in your job. It will be too awkward to ask them not to include you and 2 years later, you will have no hope left. A typical South African forwarded will also include secret crime syndicate warnings that the police aren’t even aware of, Road Block warnings, and potential mass strike emails that are “inside information”.
9. Miss TMI
“You know, since I had my hysterectomy, my bladder seems to get infected at the drop of a hat.”. That’s right, Miss TMI (Too Much Information) has no boundaries. Her medical conditions are everyone’s business, and her desk drawers normally contain more prescription drugs than your local pharmacy. Her sex life will also be open for discussion whether you like it or not. As it will be discussed in great detail, never, ever, under any circumstances ask Miss TMI how she is doing…because she will tell you.
8. The Car Guy
Yes, The Fast & The Furious was an pretty awesome movie, but The Car Guy will also try and convince you that 2 Fast 2 Furious was just as epic. He spends his life upgrading and modifying his car, and never actually finishes it, but thankfully he keeps you updated throughout the entire process. The Car Guy, often has a flawless knowledge of sound systems, and knows a guy who knows a guy who can get you a good deal. The CG can often be found at illegal races, but would never actually compete in them, despite what he may tell you about blowing a gasket during his practice run the weekend before. The Car Guy, is also fond of using the F-Bomb in every sentence, especially when talking about police and authority figures.
7. The Story Repeater (also known as The Joke Stealer)
Ever had a colleague tell you an interesting story? And then a few days later tell you a story that sounds familiar? And then 2 weeks later tell you the same effing story for the 8th time! These people are sick and need our help. If they begin to tell you a repeat story, stop them immediately, you sanity may depend on it! These are the same people that repeat a joke or wise crack seconds after you say it as if it were their own!!
6. The Religious Nut
Jesus saves!…but Messi scores on the rebound. Seemingly, those darn Christians never find that funny. Every work place has at least one openly religious person you tells you that everything is the Lord’s will. If there is a tragedy, it’s God’s Will. If you are going through troubles, they will pray for you. If the vending machine takes your money…someone needed it more that you did. It is of course naturally assumed that you too are religious and believe in the same thing they do, so expect daily prayers and blessings, straight to you inbox.
5. The Know It All
The colleague who always feels the need to be involved in all conversations no matter the topic, and don’t let the fact that they know nothing about said topic stop them. They will give you incorrect movie titles, unfounded opinions on sports teams and their performances, or they will simply steal an opinion from someone they heard on the radio, or read on the internet, if it happens to be a topical issue that everyone is talking about, in an attempt to be relevant. The Know-It-All will also blatantly argue with incorrect facts even if you are an expert in a certain field.
4. The Personal Caller
There are two kinds of Personal Callers. The loud and proud version who openly spends her days on personal calls, letting the entire office know about her breakup, faulty purchases and doctors appointments. This kind of PC is not self aware and maybe need to be bought into the loop that she spends 4 hours a day on the phone. The second kind of PC is, the whisperer. They will only ever be seen listening to phone calls, with the receiver affixed to their ear. These are hard to report unless you are monitoring them with advanced military equipment…or have access to their phone bills. In rare cases you can come across a hybrid of these two types…a Super Caller if you will.
3. The “Have You Seen” Picture Lady
Not to be confused with The Name Dropper, this is the lady in the office that will show you every baby picture, wedding album and “wahoo”party picture relating to her, her family, her friends and anyone else who might of captured her awesomeness in a photo. She often doesn’t care about your opinion , just as long as you agree with her that it’s the most beautiful wedding ever, the cutest baby ever and the most awesome part ever….till the next one at least.
2. The “How Did They Get That Job?” Colleague
Their only job skill is endurance. How else would you explain how that moron got the position of Team Leader, Supervisor or Manager? They have zero problem solving skills, no backbone, and speak only in clichés. However, these are the same people that often own the nicest cars, and scarily, often have wives and kids.
1. The Cat Lady
Oh you know the type! Cat lady is the most famous of all the stereotypes, and she deserves no mercy. She can sometimes be a combination of the mail forwarder, sending you daily pics of cats in HIGHlarious scenarious….such as falling asleep on the keyboard kitty, surprised face kitty, and grumpy “this explains how I feel about work” kitty. If you happen to miss these emails, don’t worry, Cat Lady has all of them printed out and stuck around her cubicle for quick reference. She often also has a kitty as her Facebook profile pic.
So that’s my list…recognize yourself? If so, then take the shame!
I know for a fact there are tons of other clichés out there, so feel free to comment below and add your choices…
6. The New Me, Same as the Old Me
Over the years the most noticeable things to disappear from my life were my smile, my laugh and my self-confidence. Finding a picture of me smiling from the last 7 years is about as likely as finding gold in a hobo’s dentures. Over the last few months, all of those missing elements have begun to return. A lot of it can be credited to my new work colleagues who have a very similar sense of humour to me, and they truly bring out the old me that I know so many of my friends once knew. I laugh more, smile more, and have the confidence to be the person I really am again.
The me at home is VERY different to the me out in the real world, and for the longest time, the real me stayed at home permanently. I wasn’t fun to be around, I could barely hold conversation with people without getting annoyed to the point of wanting to drown them in a small shallow bucket. I’m at my best when I am funny and witty. I love to make people laugh and lighten the mood. That’s my gift. I make people feel good. When I couldn’t do that, I felt incomplete, and quite honestly worthless. Now I feel I can walk into a room and light it up again if need be. I walk with an air of confidence again, I take pride in the way I dress. It’s certainly not like this 24/7 , but now I don’t feel like the short fat kid who has to sit in the corner at the school dance anymore. I’m the short fat kid who asks the prom queen to dance again.
7. Live for the moments.
I am the KING of the big gesture, I used to do so many epic things for people (yes, girls), to try and win them over and convince them of my awesomeness, 99.9% of the time it backfired and I often didn’t get so much as a thank you. Yet I didn’t learn, I kept doing it, because I enjoyed doing those things, but selfishly I wanted something back from it, even if it was just a thank you. Those sort of things can be so draining to both your heart and soul. The easy answer was I was doing it for the wrong reasons, or so friends would always tell me, but then when the next “target” came along, I would commit the same foul.
Over the last few months, a light switch finally went off in my head that allowed me to admit that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. However, and this is a big however, so take note. This does not mean I should stop doing it. I ENJOY the big gestures, the work or research (called creeping these days), that goes into a big gift, or heartfelt gesture, so why should I stop doing it? No, instead, I need to change the reasons as to why I’m doing it. I no longer expect anything in return. I do it now because to simply make someone’s day is good enough for me. It makes me happy. Whether it be friends, a love interest or a complete stranger. I like to show that romance and magical moments still exist. Now I live for those moments. The moment of telling a beautiful girl in the elevator that she is in fact a beautiful girl, then simply walking away with no further interaction needed. Sending someone flowers, anonymously or otherwise, simply to make them smile knowing that someone made an effort for them that day.
So be warned, you may in fact be the recipient of a #BurgMoment… when you least expect it, something good could happen to you. You may get flowers, you may get your lunch bill paid for, you may have a clowns show up at your office, you may get invited to an all-expenses paid holiday. There are so few genuinely good moments in life, that sometimes you have to make your own. I notice everyone and I’m happy to say these moments have already started happening… so you could be next!
8. Don’t Give a Damn about People Opinions, But Stand Up For Yourself.
I’d always been “too nice”, too nice to rock the boat, too nice to complain, and too worried about what people might think about me, didn’t wanna embarrass myself you know. I had my pride. (This was always a very strange contraction to my outside appearance, with my tattoos, piercings and clothing, I always seemed to attract attention. I had an aura about me that drew people towards me). This effectively led to me being screwed over way too often and always coming out with the short end of the stick.
Then something changed. It might have been the 5 years in the music industry that hardened me, or maybe that was just part of it. But somewhere along the line I became a bonefide badass. You didn’t mess with me. If I am in the right, I will fight till the bitter end to make sure I come out the victor. Customer services and banks around the country know this better than anyone. I don’t accept cr@ppy service, I don’t accept being spoken down too, and I don’t allow people to be bullied. I stand up for those who feel they don’t have a voice anymore. I’m still learning the fine are of not going too far with making a point, and admittedly, sometimes I do push it too far, but I blame all the pent up aggression I have inside me. However, I’m glad I have hardened the eff up. And you know what? I have gotten more freebies, gift vouchers, apologies, and service than I have even had in my life. Score a point to the little guy.
9. Open to Trying New Things
I have always been so stuck in my ways. As much as a free spirit as I am, it takes a lot for me to break out of my own personal mould. It’s always been frustrating for people, because if my mind is made up, there is no changing it. Ok ok, let’s just cut to the chase, I will finally admit it. I am stubborn, fussy and hard to please….wow, I can actually hear about 400 people collectively saying “I told you so”. But I do admit it, and this is what has led to a lot of arguments with friends. Lately however, I have been so open to trying new things. Whether it’s something simple like a food I hate that I’ve never actually eaten, or maybe going out somewhere I don’t like with friends just to be with friends, or heck maybe even the reverse cowboy…I more than willing to entertain new things in my life. Maybe it’s something that comes with age, I’m not quite sure…all I know is that the way I’ve been living wasn’t making me happy. Of course I do all this within reason, it’s not like I’m living the life of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll now simply because being sXe wasn’t working for me, however I am now open to that cocktail on the beach in Hawaii or that beer in Germany…
10. I am Awesome.
To steal a catchphrase from The Miz. I am awesome, and I need to keep believing that to survive this crazy ride through the rest of my life. I’m a good person, and so proud of that, because there are very few of us left. In a world that is getter meaner and crueller by the day, it is us few white knights who need to keep the hope alive; the hope of something better out there, something good and caring.
I take this role very seriously; I like to bring hope to people but in an honest way. That has always been the purpose of this blog, and my life. I have seen it all and been through more, and it’s these life lessons that give others strength. There may be a touch of arrogance to what I say, buy my life has never really been my own, and I finally understand that. My experiences, the tragedy and the triumphs are given to me because I can handle them. I live my life openly, and this blog has never been shy of revealing things that most people are ashamed of, but I do it so that if just one person can relate to it, it’s been worth it. I’ve always seen myself as a person who comes into people’s lives when they need me the most. I offer comfort when others cannot. People tend to trust me and share their problems with me, which while overwhelming at times (especially when it’s not something I can physically help with), is something of an honour.
As my blog approaches that magical milestones of 100,000 views, I’d like to take this time to thank #TeamBurg old and new for supporting me, for loving me, for hating me, for having a reaction to what I say. I write because I feel I have something to say, and I always encourage you to do the same.
The path to happiness is different for everyone. There is no hard and fast rule on how to get there, and of course, one person’s idea of happiness may leave another scratching their head. So each to their own I guess.
Now that all the clichés are out the way, I can get down to this blog’s real purpose.
It’s been a tough few months obviously, those who follow me have seen the drama first hand, as I’ve never held back sharing anything I’ve been through. Lately however, I’ve been feeling a permanent state of contentment, and seemingly happiness. It’s not happiness by definition though, there is still a lot of issues and drama I deal with on a daily basis, a lot of which would make most people give up on life, but for the first time I have found some balance in my life, and for a Libra, balance is VERY important.
As I sat back and thought about what exactly brought about this change in me during a very significant time in my life, I was (much to my surprise!) able to identify 10 specific reasons why I have this sense of calm over me lately.
1. Big Dreams, Smaller Steps
You all know about my obsessions. The New York deal, the being a writer deal etc etc, and I know most people are sick to death of me constantly talking about it. Well, have a think about it, and you’ll actually realize I’ve been very quiet about it for the last few months. Not because I’ve given up on it, but I’ve realized that every time I get close to it, someone moves the proverbial goal posts further away. My solution to this is to make smaller goals, but more of them.
To achieve my dreams, I need to slice up life into just a few more pieces, this helps to avoid such big disappointments. There will always be an end goal, but for now, I’m content to chase smaller dreams in the hope that they will all add up in the end.
2. New Job
Another thing that was well documented was my unhappiness in my old job, and the people I with whom worked. The simple solution was to walk away from everything I knew for the last 5 years and start again. A silly, not very well thought out decision, but one that had to be made. And now 8 months later I can honestly say I made the right decision.
I have a great job, in a great location, and work with some great people. People I get along with, can joke with, and more importantly, people who have given me a fair, clean slate. Instead of judging me on things I have gone through. It’s a wonderfully liberating feeling.
3. Traffic vs Train
One of the worst things about living in South Africa is the traffic. Well, not so much the traffic, but the idiots on the road who get away with the most shocking disregard to road rules you will ever see. On a daily basis this would anger me, fuelling so much rage inside that I would be tense and irritable all day long. It was bad… very bad. I would chase down taxis who cut me off, forced me off the road, drove in emergency lanes… it was making me a very angry and hateful person. Not in a racist way, as some people liked to blame it on black drivers in this country. I don’t care if you’re black, white, yellow or green. An idiot is an idiot. However I just didn’t like the person it forced me to be. Also, not having my own car was a downer.
Thankfully with the new job, and the recent implementation of the Gautrain (a public train system for my international readers), I was able to change my way of travelling, and I can honestly say, this was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s changed my view on life in a big way. I feel more carefree, more relaxed and most importantly, it now gives me time to appreciate people more. I’m a big people watcher. I love seeing how people react to situations and such. It also fools me into thinking I’m living a New York or London lifestyle, which keeps me content for the time being.
4.More Time for Friends, new and old; Less time for People who Make Me Feel Bad.
This was a very important thing for me, and hopefully something a few of you have picked up on too. I’ve made a genuine effort to speak to my friends more, and in fact try and see them more. In the last 2 months, I have seen more old friends than I have in the last 5 years. I say yes a lot more when people ask me out, or ask if they can visit, and in fact I encourage it.
I still have promises to a lot of people I very much intend to keep. I still have a few issues with transport and such, but they will come right soon enough. I’ve also been open to making new friends, something I had forced myself to become too cautious with over the last few years. Thankfully, I have made friends with some wonderful new people which has made my circle that little bit bigger. As for those who have added no value to my life, I have taken the Scorched Earth approach to them and snuffed them out my life completely without compromise. It’s best for both parties. No longer do I beg people to be my friend, because the truth is they probably never will be, if I have to do that. I have learned appreciation for my friends old and new.
5. More Accepting of Help
Ok, this has clearly been the toughest one. Through all my struggle I have always tried to handle things alone…often with disastrous consequences. I always felt so guilty about accepting help from friends, as if I had failed or let everyone down (which in some cases I have), but now if someone offers to help, and I need it, I take it with a thankful heart, and a promise not to abuse that trust. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way in taking people up on their offers, but now I understand what goes into gestures like that. I am so thankful to #TeamBurg and I couldn’t even begin to thank everyone by name for fear of leaving someone out. I would not be here today if it wasn’t for you guys, and I always appreciate the kind words you have for me, and the encouragement you send my way, even if at times I come across as a cranky old b@st@rd.
Stay tuned for the part 2 of this blog later tonight…
It’s a sad state of affairs when you keep calling yourself a writer, yet the length of time between you actually writing something seemingly gets longer as the months and even years float by. I laugh at myself these days when I tell people I’m a writer. It almost seems like a lie. A well intentioned lie, but a lie none the less.
The most common question people ask me when I say I can’t write lately is “why?”
It’s such a layered question to answer. The simple answer is I’m not inspired.
That is the truth though. I’m not inspired in my life. In my career, in my friendships, or even in my dreams (so much for those dream & desire tattoos in my arms eh?). As a writer I should push myself to find ways to overcome that problem.
Finding inspiration is so difficult for me lately. Even my rant blogs don’t appeal to me anymore.
I have a hundred stories floating around in my head and yet can’t seem to translate them to paper. (or MS Word as the times would have it). The worst part is, I know those stories are good. Damn good.
It’s not hard to tell you what inspires me. It’s people. It’s person. It’s places. It’s place. It’s the impossible. It’s the dreams. It’s the desires. All wonderfully broad terms, yet their exact meanings are very clear to me.
When I was kid, I used to win the school book prize every year, (bar one or two), and the prize was always an amazing reference book of some sort, filled with history, places, people…things as a child you would only see in a book. I used to stare at those pictures, and touch them trying to put myself in that place or time and imagine a world so different from the one I was living. It brought me peace, and calmed me to the point of knowing exactly what I wanted out of life. I wanted to leave the place I was in. Be inspired by the world around me.
Fast forward 20 years…and I’m still in the same room. In the same house. In the same street. In the same neighbourhood. In the same country. I’m seeing the same person every day. I have the same conversations. I’m reliving the same drama over and over.
This week however, I felt a flame begin to burn inside me.
I can pinpoint it to seeing a picture someone posted on Facebook.
A picture of a particular friend (who I’ve never even met mind you) in the French Alps. It was so beautiful it saddened me…but as I looked at that picture, I touched it on my screen and I had that same feeling come over me that I had as a child. The want for a different world.
So I have a plan. A plan to breathe new life into my world…and perhaps even into those around me…it’s as outrageous as it should be from me.
Stay tuned…I will let you all know in part 2 of this blog how this effects all of us!
My last few blogs have been pretty darn serious, and thought now might be a good time to get back to the fun element of this blog.
It’s no secret it doesn’t take much to turn a guy on, and any guy who says otherwise is lying. However, we all have our favourite things we look out for, whether it be on a woman or guy. I don’t judge as we know. Maybe for some people it’s something someone does, or what they wear, heck it could even be something they say right?
Here’s my list of things that I find sexy, use it, don’t use it.
1. A pair of legs on a woman. DEAD SEXY. Of course I understand women can’t all have legs like Stacey Keibler, but I will always notice a legs on a woman first.
2. Dark Hair. On her head only of course….well, I can make exceptions.
3. Dark skin. Olive skinned woman or nicely toned Indian, South American women will forever be my weakness, of course this combined with the above Dark Hair = perfection.
4. Water. For some reason I find this the sexiest of all the elements. Taking a bath or shower with someone, getting caught in the rain, even a women drenched like a rat has a certain appeal. Anyone made love in water? I only know what I learned watching ShowGirls.
5. Tattoos on a woman. Kill me, kill me know. A bigger arm/shoulder tattoo is a bell ringer for me. Love that! Not so mad about tramp stamps and tribals though…so be warned, even I have boundries.
6. Athletic or sporty women are a big YES when it comes to sex appeal. As long as they are not the Serena Williams type, then I’m all for it. I like a girl who doesn’t play sports like a girly girl. And girl who supports my love of sports is a close second.
7. Pop Culture Geek. Love comics, movies, TV and such? well if you can hold a conversation about Zombies and know who the Green Arrow is, then its kismet.
8. Older women. Within reason.
9. Younger women. Within reason.
10. Girls who wear earphones. When someone walks past me or stands next to me in a lift wearing earphones, I can’t help but to watch them. Mouthing the words, or a slight reserved sway to the beat is sexy as hell.
11. Stripper Boots. Its a guy thing.
12. Bridges. Not sure where this came from, maybe its a movie thing, but walking on a bridge with a girl has such a peaceful element of sexy to it.
13. Holding hands. Especially on bridges. I find the simple act of holding hands sexy. The best way to test if there is electricity between two people.
14. Girl carrying coffee, like from a coffee place. Again, it could be a movie thing; it could be a New York thing, but it’s cetainly my thang.
15. School Uniform. Some people have the Princess Leia fantasy, or the nurse fantasy, but the uniform does it for me. You know what I love about school girls? I get older, they stay the same age. Yes they do, yes they do.
16. Class. Even to the point of being a snob. I find a classy woman the sexiest thing on earth. Cate Blanchett fits this mould nicely.
17. Accents. I think this is perhaps a more common one. Spanish/French/Italian/Australian/British all work for me. Even if it’s a fake one.
18. Shoulders. Like legs, a good pair of shoulder, and a woman who isn’t afraid to show them off is a sure thing.
19. Girls who wear t-shirts featuring rock bands from the 70s or 80s… and can actually name all the members in the band.
20. Other people’s wives.
What do you have on your list?