Posts Tagged ‘Muse’

The Stuff In The Basement

March 8, 2011

Rocky: “I don’t know, there’s still some stuff in the basement.”
Paulie: “What basement?”
Rocky: “In here.”

Ok, I’ve never won any sort of championship.
I never got statue of myself outside the Philadelphia Spectrum
I never even owned a cool black leather jacket with a tiger on the back.

However, I have always believed I’m a true underdog story.
My whole life has been a million to one shot, much like the plethora of Rocky Balboa references I’ve already dropped in this blog, the odds of me being a success have always been questionable.

It could be said that I’ve done it all in my life. Or as I like to catchphrase “seen it all, and been through more”. After doing the recap of my live in some 50 odd blogs, I felt utterly exhausted…and miserable.

Looking back at all I’ve had to go through to get to this very moment is something I wouldn’t wish upon my biggest enemy. Maybe on the person who stole my mug this week, but certainly not my WORST enemy.

For all intents and purposes, I should be happy I’ve turned everything around in my life. Sure there are small little things missing such as love and happiness, but I’ve existed without that for most all of my life, so I’ve grown used to it.

I’m in a great job, with the potential of some sort of forward movement on the horizon after 5 years of being there (BIWISI). I’m debt free. I’m eating well. I have a few cents to spare. All good things right?

Then why am I so restless?

Because of that damned junk in the basement.

I have one last fight in me. I need to know there is still a place for me in this world. That I can go toe to toe and say I AM.

All day, every day I listen to people complain. Complain about work. Complain about the air conditioner. I listen to people talk about their children and their first teeth, first word and first poop. I battle traffic every morning. I deal with electricity outages. Water shortages.

I’m living a very ordinary life. I’m living a very frustrating life too.

It’s not what I am meant to be doing. It’s not where I am meant to be.

These are all things you have heard from me before in one way or another, but I’m reaching the point of self implosion.

Before that happens…I need to get into the ring one more time. I need to take on that impossible fight, but this time…it’s the last round. If I lose it…I need to just shut the hell up and go about living life like everyone else does untill my time on this earth is up…but, if I can just get in one good punch….I may just get the upset knockout and get everything I want in life.

I wish I had an Adrian to do it with. I really do…but this is Rocky 6. One last sequel. Besides Adrian is dead in this one *spoiler alert*…(or does that go before the actual spoiler)

It may be crazy…but what’s so crazy about standing toe to toe with someone saying “I am”?

*This has been a Rocky/boxing metaphor for my life as of today.
** This blog is dedicated to my muse. The sole reason I was able to overcome my writers block.


Global Musings – A return to writing

August 19, 2010

For weeks, nay, months now, I have perpetually opened a blank document and stared at it for hours before closing it by hitting that damn slap in the face “No” button when the prompt asks me if I would like to save Untitled. “How very dare you sir!”

I’ve been trying to find inspiration everywhere.

I’ve looked to old memories, (using the write what you know theory that us writers are supposed to adhere to) yet that well seems long dried up.

What about exciting new ventures? That’s always good food for thought right?

Nope, nothing, nadda.

Add to this that every unpublished piece of writing I’ve done over the last 12 years, including screenplays, short stories, and my never ending autobiography were literally taken from me at gunpoint….well, I guess that’s enough to prematurely call an end to my writing career.

It’s been an eight month drought, except for my angry blog about the above incident – (hey, I’ll take inspiration in any form and at any time it comes), and whilst I truly felt I may never write again, I did feel like there was something still burning inside this banged up ol’ pickup truck I call my brain.

Like a little child playing hide and go seek, it was there, just waiting for me to find it…every time I thought I knew what it was, I took a step back and said naaa that can’t be right.

However, in and amongst this horribly insane 12 months I have been through, there was one guiding light. One ipso facto (and there’s NO way I just used that correctly) that has remained a constant. A burning flame – something or someone that reminded me of why I am a writer. An embodiment of everything I find beautiful about the craft of writing. The hardships, the dreams, and most importantly, the impact even a simple word can have on a reader.

This intangible is indeed a person. A beautiful person who I watch from a far (a very far), but in a non stalker way of course, if there’s anything that last court order taught me, was that distance is important in a relationship.

Her work inspires me, her energy keeps me going through the toughest times, her attitude allows me to live vicariously through her. Her beauty brings me to my knees (you know because of how weak I go when I even see a picture of her). To me, she is perfection.

We have never met, and the odds are we won’t ever.
Heck, we hardly even talk, but in the weirdest way imaginable, she is the TRUE love of my life.

I don’t mean that in the relationship sort of way, I mean it in the way one person can truly inspire you to be the best at what you do, and makes you believe that your dreams and goals, no matter how foolish to others, are achievable if you yourself really believe in them. I mean it in the way that someone can change your life for the better by the mere fact that they simple exist in this world. She embodies the four elements i live by – dream, desire, passion, belief.

She goes about her daily business doing what she does, drinking her morning coffee, taking in her picturesque surroundings, never really knowing the impact she has on my life.

And I…well…

In a single word – I have found my Muse.

My Top 60 Soundtracks (Part 5)

August 24, 2009

20. Wayne’s World 2
– I own the first movie soundtrack on Cassette, and really need to upgrade it to CD… so by default WW2 gets this slot.
Fave tracks: “Dude Looks Like a Lady” – Aerosmith,”Out There” – Dinosaur Jr., “Idiot Summer” – Gin Blossoms & “Frankenstein” – Edgar Winter

19. Twilight
– Sure the movie is divided into those who a) love it, b) hate it. But anyone who knows anything about music cannot doubt the strength of the soundtrack.
Fave Tracks: “Supermassive Black Hole” – Muse, “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” -Iron & Wine, “Eyes on Fire” – Blue Foundation & “Tremble for My Beloved”- Collective Soul.

18. From Dusk Till Dawn
– The movie may be an over the top Mexican-liquor fuelled Vampire flick, and i don’t mean that in a bad way, but the soundtrack is equally down and dirty,i mean that in a good way.
Fave Tracks: “Dark Night” – The Blasters, “After Dark” – Tito & Tarantula, “Dengue Woman Blues” -Jimmie Vaughan.

17. Desperado
– Along with QT, Robert Rodriguez can do no wrong when it comes to movies & Music in my eyes. Desperado was cool, dirty and sexy as hell, as was the soundtrack.
Fave Tracks: “Strange Face of Love” & “Back To The House That Love Build” – Tito & Tarantula, & “Six Blade Knife” – Dire Straits

16. Juno
– One of the quirkiest, best written movies to have graced our screens in the last 10 years. The soundtrack offered nothing less that something of equal offering.
Fave Tracks: “All I Want Is You” – Barry Louis Polisar, “A Well Respected Man” – The Kinks, “Anyone Else But You” – The Moldy Peaches & all of Kimya Dawson’s songs.

15. Grind
– The ultimate buddy movie. Unfortunately I don’t really have any, so I live vicariously through the soundtrack.
Fave Tracks: “Fly From The Inside” – Shinedown, “These Walls” – Trapt,”I’m Just a Kid” – Simple Plan & “BOOM” – P.O.D.

14. Reservoir Dogs
– Quentin Tarantino’s first offering of Violence, brilliant storytelling and pace perfect music was served up in the form of Reservoir Dogs.
Fave Tracks: “Hooked on a Feeling” – Blue Swede, “Fool For Love”- Sandy Rogers, “Little Green Bag” – George Baker and of course “Stuck In The Middle With You” – Stealers Wheel.

13. Jackie Brown
jackie brown ost
– Considered one of Tarantino’s weakest films, (only because Reservoir Dogs & Pulp Fiction preceded it), Jackie Brown delivered a typically brilliant soundtrack.
Fave Tracks: “Tenessee Stud” – Johnny Cash,”Didn’t I Blow Your Mind This Time” – The Delphonics,”Across 110th Street” – Bobby Womack, “Street Life” – Randy Crawford

12. City of Angels
– I’m a sap for this movie. I’m man enough to admit the tears doth flow everytime… I mean come on…he gives up his wings for love and she dies!
Fave Tracks: “Feelin Love” – Paula Cole, “If God Will Send His Angels” – U2, “Iris” – Goo Goo Dolls & “Red House” – Jimi Hendrix

11. Garden State
– I don’t rave about this movie as much as most people do. I don’t connect as well to the visuals I think. But the OST is something specially. An award winning selection by Zach Braff here.
Fave tracks: “In The Waiting Line” – Zero 7, “Let Go” – Frou Frou, “New Slang”- The Shins, “Such Great Heights” – Iron & Wine, “One of These Things First” – Nick Drake, “The Only Living Boy In New York” – Simon & Garfunkel.

That’s it folks, Just 10 left….can you guess what they are???