Posts Tagged ‘New York’

Goodbye 2011…I Hardly Knew Ya!

December 26, 2011

The old saying goes, “What a difference a day makes…” but I’m pretty certain you can just as easily substitute it with a year.

That’s pretty much how I look back on 2011.12.26

Last year this time things looked so bright…After the most eventful year of my life, I was celebrating what I considered to hopefully be my last Christmas in this country, because my future looked so bright.

My employer at the time had turned down my voluntary retrenchment with the promise that they had big plans for me for the upcoming year, which included time overseas.

I was pretty well set financially, and I was at peace with everything and ready to pursue my new life and ambition.
As the year proceeded, those false promises became frustratingly clear, and for the next 8 months I was toyed around with unfairly, to the point where I realized there was no future where I was.

The year itself had been tough, with financial problems and being a victim of crime hitting me unexpectedly again, as usual, and the funds quickly started deteriorating. This wouldn’t have been a problem if said employer had actually come through on their promises about a change in my pay scale.

Of course, my plans for New York took several knocks, to the point of where I was getting so angry that everyone else was “stealing my idea” and making their way over there. Every time someone posted news or photos, it hurt me more and more. That’s how much I love that place.

Things went south very quickly. And as previously blogged, I decided to walk out on everything I had been doing for the last 5 years, because I had wasted the last year of my life.

The calendar year itself provided VERY few highlights, and of course, the last 4 months I have spent at home licking my wounds.

It pretty easy to pick out the two highlights of my year.

The first is very easy to pick out, as it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for the last few years, and finally realized it since I had all this time to myself. In fact, I’m using it right now. I created myself, a man cave…or as I like to call it, the Burg Cave. It was fully completed this week, and I will post some pictures if I ever get a decent camera. It provides me with my own space to find inspiration again. It allows me to step away from my problems and sadness and find joy in the things that make me happy.

The crazy thing is, I haven’t had much human contact this year either, which is why the second highlight of my year is so important.

I finally saw an old friend of mine after 20years. We had a good dinner and watched a movie. One of the most simple things two people can do together, and it meant so much to me, because I don’t have THAT person in my life that I can do that with. She has always been one of my favourite people, and great company, so I’m glad I finally got the chance to see her again after all these years. The timing probably wasn’t great because it was a month before my pending unemployment, and of course the lack of income (and automobile), is a bit of snag, but I would like to take the time to thank Kim for being so patient and understanding in our new found old friendship. I can’t wait to see you again.

So that’s it. Two single highlights in a year that will be considered an utter disappointment, and a wasted year overall, some by my doing, but a most through the selfish actions of others.

I won’t even delve into the lowlights of my year, because that’s a story for another time.

It’s hardly surprising of course, 11 is my unlucky number, and for the last few years, I believed my untimely demise would arrive on 11/11/11.

It didn’t…and now I hope to make 2012 something special, and its starts with finding a new job, finding the confidence in myself and my talent again, putting in an effort with my friends, even if it means doing something I’m not used to doing. And hey, maybe I’ll even get some nookie next year.

The nookie, the what, the nookie, the what, it’s all about the nookie!

So good riddance 2011.

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The Burgies: And the Winner is…(Part 1)

March 13, 2011

Hello and welcome to the first annual Burg’s World Awards, affectionately known as The Burgies.

It’s been an exciting few days for the nominees who have been on the edge of their seats awaiting the results of this highly anticipated Awards Show.


With that…let’s go to our host….Me.

*musical interlude*

*ad break*

*musical number*

*ad break*

*musical number*

*ad break*

*three hours later….

Well everyone, this is the moment you have been waiting for…Please welcome your first presenter…Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen – “ I’m here to present the I Envy Your Life, Even Though I Know Nothing About it except From What I See On Facebook Award. In my opinion all of these nominees are already Duh…winning.

Andrew Murray – based in New York is enough of a reason to earn this former colleague a nomination. His constant advice is welcome as I try and join him in the City that never sleeps.

Corinne Lalouette – Ah to be young again…This lady has not been afraid to live her dreams, and is not afraid to try something new. A globe trotter of the highest order.

Mohammed Seedat – Another former colleague and Liverpool, Mo’s collection of travel photo’s and sporting event photos is enough to make anyone Red with envy.

Kriya Gangiah – a star on the rise. I have been watching this lady since last year’s World Cup match between USA and Algeria when in a capacity crowd of 35,000 people she was the only one I noticed walking around the touchline. A presented, actress and mode. The world is her oyster.

Kayan Amira Leung – A long time friend who has been on the other side of the world for the longest time, but her Facebook photos and emails have made me feel like I’ve been with her every step of the way.

And the winner is….Corinne Lalouette!!!

*ad break*

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your next presenter…Gerrard Butler

Gerrard Butler – “Helloooo Ladies aaand Gentle men…this next catagoooorie is filled with peeeple hooo haaave at times seeeeemingly dropped off the plaaaanet, but hooo’s conversaaation is definitely missssed. This is the “I Miss Talking To yoooo Award””

Veronique Lalouette – we used to chat so often about our lives and views on the world…then you carried on with you life while I retreated into my world. I miss not being about to talk about all the big things that are happening with you, and wish you all the best for the upcoming nuptials.

Roxanne Lauren Konkol – those late night chats and vents were something I always felt honoured to be around for, as you grew up though, you experience the real world and all it had to offer…I felt left behind because of my own self confidence issues. Your honesty was only matched by mine.

Simon Williamson – a friend made during the toughest period of my life, our Boj jokes and award winning screenplays were the stuff of legends. Then we drifted apart and realized most of our friendship was based on our proximity together. I’m so happy for your recent engagement and wish you the best. But I’m sorry I havent been around to know more about your fascinating life.

Thamashni Naidoo – a random friendship that was formed. Perhaps it moved to fast or I expected too much, but chatting to you was always a highlight of my day or night. Some bad decisions soured the friendship, its not about blame, or accountability anymore. People are people and I miss talking to you…even if it is about hot football players. *awkward silence*

Kimberly Lloyd – BBM ruined our friendship lol…the time difference of course has a hand in keeping us from being better friends. We were on a roll for a few weeks/months and it was by far the most enjoyeable time of my life in recent years. The silly things like real life got in the way.

And the winner is…..Kimberly Lloyd!!!

*ad break*
*musical number*

Please welcome…our next host…Kim Kardashian….

Kim Kardashian…”Heeeeey Guys, I’m super proud to be here tonight, because I’ve realized that family comes first, and sometimes you need to be super proud of what you can achieve when you communicate with others. My new perfume taught me all about being a businesswoman and I’m super proud of that. I guys you might say, You’re My Biggest Fan…and that’s what this award is for.”

Michelle Daniels – a Myspace friendship that had its initial ups and down and arguments, we eventually both matured in our lives and found our true roads of destiny, always supportive of my and willing to forgive my moods to show that our friendship was something more than just a “new friend request”.

Simone Ka-Ling Ho – One of my longest running supporters. Always there with a word of advice, a mention of encouragement and a sympathetic ear. Our conversations go back a long long time.

Susanne Weber – An old school friend who always made time for a good conversation back then already. Her willingness to ask questions about something obscure I talk about was always genuine and heartfelt.

Darren Symington – an unexpected friend who understood my dark twisted view on life, and has always been able to related to something I put out there, no matter how controversial or smug. Supportive of letting me be ME.

Andre Ulrich George – The first of two newer followers who has been supportive and encouraging of my more emotional work. Not sure how he found out about my existence, but I’ve learned not to ask these question…

Annie Naidoo – If ever there was an accidental friendship, this was it. A true groupie (in the best possible way) of my work, and a constant reinforcement of this being what I am supposed to be doing with my life. She’s good people…even if she’s a Man U supporter!

And The winner is…Simone Ka-Ling Ho!!!

*ad break*

Please welcome back… Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen – “You’re all on a drug right now…and it’s called Charlie Sheen…forget about the Friendship Comeback Award, this should be the Tiger Blood Award, because all these guys need Adonis DNA if they’ve managed to stay friends with The Burg through the rollercoaster”

Russel Pieters – My best friend in High school, or at least I always liked to believe so. I’ve always had a confidence issue that made me believe I’ve never been anyone’s best friend. We lost so many years being out of touch, and when we chat it feels like no time at all has passed. Life has changed, but you haven’t sir.

Justin Paulsen – and up and down friendship for many years now. I think it took us a long time to figure out what kind of friends we were, and we seem to be at a comfort level now. I thank you for your help during the bad stage of life, it show that you are a much better person than i.

Leonardo Borella – A true friend no matter what. My greatest regret is that I wasn’t there for so many big moments in your life. You’re a hard working, honest friend who’s heart is bigger than most people’s combined. This calls for a victory roll Len.

Natasha & Stephen Prior – Last year’s catchup in London was just the shot in the arm our friendship needed. I got lazy, you got a family. But the time I spent with your family is one of the true honours in my life. I love you all dearly, and can’t wait to get your butt back on the tennis courts. Tash – you may want to film it to show the kids.

Paula Fehrsen – An old primary school friend. Our recent conversations have been so heartfelt and fun. I spent many years looking for you, and am so glad that we chat, even if it is on such an infrequent basis.

And The Winner Is….Russel Pieters!!!

*ad break*

Please welcome your next host….Sean Connery.

Sean Connery – “Hello. I’m Shhhhhean Connery.”
*standing ovation*
“Thish ish…the Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hero Award”

Jessica & Leon Byker – Oh Canada! The Doc and Jessica Rabbit have always been two of my favourite people. They are so genuine in their friendship to others that they are the kind of people you wish for nothing but happiness. Their hard work has paid off and they are now one of the lucky ones (twos?) who have ventured into a brave new world. Something I talk about, but they actually did.

Jean Barker – A witty lady who has given up everything here to be a screenwriter in LA? Yes, I know what you’re think…my perfect woman. She is undoubtedly an inspiring person, even if that make her uncomfortable. I am living vicariously through her. For Now at least…

Leigh Lobotomy – a true wild child. So honest in who she is, she is the genuine article. Accepting of her mistakes, and brave in her desires….Authentic and original. There are few people like you left in this world dear.

Brett Schewitz – A passionate person who ventured out into a brave new world. A true South African at heart, he’s following he dream of a bigger career and a better life. Nobody deserves it more than him.

Michelle Daniels – What can I say that I haven’t already? A lucky lady who turned her dream into a reality.

And the winner is…Jean Barker!!!

*ad break*

Please welcome the next presenter – the 1980’s version of Eddie Murphy

Eddie Murphy – “A-he-he-he…Howdy folks. You know, you don’t often hear a black man saying howdy. In fact the only time you hear a brother saying Howdy, is in the sentence “How’d he know we was jacking that car?” A-he-he-he. You white folks all gotta light up, because this next category is for you only – this is the You’re Almost As Big A Geek As Me Award”

Till Tillman – If Germany had it’s own Burg…it would be The Till. Action Showdown Friday is the highlight of my week.

Robin Pierce – If I turn into sir Pierce when I’m a (slightly) older man. Life would of turned out pretty damn good. Sir Pierce is proof that it is possible to be a loving family man and still keep your geek credentials in tact. A legend.

Gordon Brown – a long time friend, fellow pop culture fan and wrestling booker. We have been through the ups and downs of loss and changes in our love for Wrestling. We have discussed awesome movies and shared thoughts on books. Up the Morton!

Travis Marc – One heck of a talent, a nice guy and sort of a nerd. I’m discovering more and more that we have in common as the years go by.

Justin Paulsen – Me? Him? Me? Him? Only he would load Windows 98 just to play classic games. Legend.

And The Winner is…Robin Pierce!!!

Ladies and Gentleman, we will take a short break and return later with the rest of your winners….

Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 3: Surviving Love & Life

February 28, 2011

Welcome to the third and final partof The Essential Collection. This selection of blogs recollects the blogs that shocked so many people. From skeletons in my closet to details of the tragedies i have faced (and avoiding several of my own from suicide to being hijacked). These all took so much out of me, and opened myself up to a LOT of criticism. However, it also provided a lot of people with solace in their own lives. From dealing with abuse, or feelings of inadequacy, or even surviving a tragedy of their own, there were so many of you who contact me to thank me for being “brave” enough to write the words i did, and for that I will always continue to be honest in my words.

Part 3.1: Surviving Love

My 100th Blog post: XoXoXo – My Feelings on Hugs & Kisses
My 100th blog turned into something a bit heavier than I was planning on. My feelings on getting physical.

“Hey didn’t I see you out with a hot girl last night…?”
Yes you did. I still like her, but we haven’t seen each other since this day

The Dating Dilemma – An Anatomy of My Love Life
An expose into my current love life situation. It’s explosive…if somewhat embarrassing.

Back then we called it Charming. Today they call it Stalking
I’ve always been able to find out everyone about someone I knew nothing about…now it just seems a tad creepy.

I Fell in Like Last Week…
Pretty self explanatory right?

Burg’s Laws of Attraction – A Tale of Sex and Romance
Exactly what kind of girl gets my attention? Who am I most likely to pick out of a crowd? The answers may surprise you.

The Trouble With Love

Yeah, I’ve been in love. A few times in my life. This is one such time, and as usual…I was love’s beeyatch.

The Contenders – Take A little piece of my heart now baby…
I love the feeling of having a crush on someone…sometimes a few people at a time. This was a list of the 15 women I was crushing on a few months ago. As of today only 4 remain of that list (with a few new ones of course) The Columnist, The Newbie, The Girl and The Muse.

I Just Landed in NYC!!! A Look at Love, Sex, and Friendly Relations
Without a male influence in my life, my view on love and sex is somewhat…skewed.

The Guy with The Awesome Personality
OF course guys have body issues. I swim in a t-shirt for a reason. This is the blog guys don’t want you to read.

Dude, babe at 9 o’clock giving you the eye…
My original thoughts on signals girls give off…they clearly haven’t change much over the years.

The Little Green Guy (no not mini Hulk)
I’m a walking contradiction when it comes to love and friendships. This could be due to my bipolar disorder I’m sure….

Part 3.2: Surviving Life

You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry….

A terrible year in my life started off with a mugging…

Rich Burg, Poor Burg: A story about Money

The Riches to rags, to riches story of ….me.

How to leave a job – The Burg way…(Part 1) How To Leave A Job – The Burg Way (Part 2)
A classic two part blog covering almost 13 years of my life and the jobs I loved and left. A favourite amongst former colleagues.

What Would The Neighbors Think? (Part 1)

A deeply draining blog that reveals only a portion of the things that have happened in the house of Burg. I will come back to part 2 eventually.

High School Confidential: Part 1 – NEVER FAIL!
For the first time I revealed the pain and darkness I had to deal with while trying to survive school. Including the details behind my own brother’s suicide.

High School Confidential: Part 2 – When It Rains, It Pours
Part 2 of the hardest blog I ever had to write. The secrets continue to be revealed.

Hey, remember that time I tried to end it?
Yup. Another suicide story. This time I think we got the answers we wanted.

The One With All The Birthdays (Part 1) The One With All The Birthdays (Part 2)
Finally everyone understands why I hate my own birthday. A selection of the worst birthday’s I’ve had to endure.

A Normal Day in South Africa..
The day I got hijacked and lost the last remaining iota of love and respect I had for this country I’m stuck in. I have not been the same since.

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So that’s it…after 100 blogs, I’ve picked out the best of the best. Did I leave of anything you would of liked to have seen here? My book will expand on so many of these topics, and fill in a lot of blanks i have deliberately left out in some stories. I hope you will continue to support my work, because I really do believe these are the blog that helped me define who I am as a writer, and for the first time…I’m excited and confident that this is what I am meant to do with my life.

Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 2: The Weird, Whacky And Wise!

February 24, 2011

By the time this blog has been posted, I will have achieved an amazing personal milestone on Burgsworld of 75, 000 views! It’s something I’m very proud of. Sure, most people stumbled across this site by accident, but there are so many loyal readers I’m immensely honored to have visit here on a regular basis.

That’s why now felt like the right time do this retrospective blog.

Today’s “best of” features my best select of the weird and whacky blogs that provide not just the highest traffic to the site, but also helped people understand my humour and creativity. With mostly positive comments and feedback, these provide a true thumbs up collection.

Part 2: The Weird, Whacky And Wise!

The Burg List – 101 Things to Do Before I Expire

Everybody has a bucket list. I, naturally have a Burg List. From the awkwardly honest, to the crazy person goal, to the most outlandish of needs, this list personified what I want to do in life, and made a lot of people blush along the way. If you can help with any…you know where to find me.

The Man Crush

Responsibly for almost a third of my total hits, The Man Crush blog got a huge boost of traffic thanks to the controversies that surround the like of Adam Lambert and Kevin Smith’s airline fiasco. It was just the right blog up at the right time. One of the favourites amongst readers, even those guys who thought me just a tad gayer for writing it.

Seinfeld: The Lost Episode (Part 1)

I went through a phase of what like to call “pop-pseudo-reality”, where I took real life situations going on in my life at that time, and turn them into “fan fiction” pieces of writing around Pop culture.

Scrubs: The Lost Episode

Another beloved blog, that captured the magic of real life love troubles with the quirkiness of an episode of Scrubs.

24: The Lost Episode (based on actual events)

Never before has asking someone you like to the Christmas party been so life threatening. An akward situation turned into an episode of 24.

The Pact!

If we’re both single in 5 years….let’s reread this blog.

Dear Hawk Girl…

An open letter to a member of the Justice League of America? Or a declaration of love? Why should we have to choose.

There’s this guy who works at my BlockBusters…

There are few people I hate in this world…but the guy who works at my Blockbusters is at the very top of that list. Another fan favourite blog.

Dear New York…

An very personal letter to the REAL love of my life….

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Those are my picks for my quirkiest and more out there blogs…A bit of fantasy, a lot of humour but always 100% honest. Where there any blogs you feel I left off this list?

Lemme know!

New Burg’s Resolutions…Doing It The Hard Way

January 27, 2011

While most people tend to set their goals (or is that resolutions) at the beginning of the year, I tend to give it an extra month or so to make sure I REALLY mean what I say.

As we approach the end of January, it’s easy to look back say “well, that’s a month wasted”…but…I like to do things the hard way, and play catch-up.

You all know about the big goals, because I’ve been waxing lyrical about them since you’ve known me….and longer than that for others of you.

I’m currently sick (again), and can’t help but think to myself oh no, not again – based on my health track record from the last 18 months. From tick bite fever, to mystery super bugs, to cancer scares and even a lacerated sphincter.

For those who are still reading after that last one, my first goal for this year is quite simply my health.

I’ve finally decided to join the gym, and making the decision is truly half the battle. When you look like Kung Fu Panda without the chi, joining a gym is perhaps the most intimidating thing you can do.

The only time I was ever in a gym was back in 2004 when I was on the fake gym set on a local soapie where I portrayed the troubled, but loveable “gym extra #4”.

Luckily I’ve found two ways to distract myself from the body issues that plague me. A) I’m joining the gym with the girl who I was in love with and haven’t seen since the day my heart was broken into a million little pieces. B) I’m joining a gym that was exposed on a recent consumer watch program, and has the worst reputation of all the franchises.

But I really do want to look good and be able to walk up a flight of stairs without sounding like Darth Vader.

Second on my list, is I want to do a new movie. I’ve missed the freedom that acting has allowed me over the years, and while my movie count only stands at five (two features and 3 short films), I’m still dying for something meatier.

That being said, if no movies come my way, I’m currently working on a screenplay I’m totally in love with (thanks to those who have shared their feedback on it). Of course I’m writing it with me in mind, but a promise is a promise, and I’m writing a bunch of roles which with certain people amongst you in mind.

When I’m done writing…then what? Well I don’t know…but maybe I could use all this money I’ve come into to fund the movie…that might be an option.

Thirdly, this will be the year I become a published author. I have started work on my key book, with several other’s in the stop start process, but I have the confidence to believe what I’m writing has a place in this world. Again, the question is what to do with it when its done. The plan is to try pitch it to some publishers when I’m over in New York – yeah I know, dream big eh? But fact of the matter is, I want the big time.

The book will essentially be a collection of my more emotional and personal blogs, structured together to form exactly what I preach about here…a guide to cutting through the stupidity of life. The end goal will be deal with a lot of personal issues that people go through in my honest and humorous way.

There is a lot of work ahead of me. As well as some impossible tasks, I may need some help along the way, and more importantly, I need to avoid the manic depression that has plagued me most of my life.

The destiny of course is that all this will lead me to a happy and successful life in New York City, perhaps the only place where I will find my peace and inspiration that I crave on a daily basis.

I mentioned in yesterday’s blog how I need a partner in crime. I goes far beyond what I spoke about then. I need someone who believes in what I do and what I want as much as I will believe in what she wants to achieve.

This has to be the year this all happens.

Oh…and I also would mind having sex for the second time in my life…that would be pretty cool.

I Fell in Like Last Week…

January 26, 2011

It’s been a strange ol time these last few weeks. I really have had more downs than ups. Now, I’m not one to complain, *cue audience laughter* , but I really have been in a ridiculous funk.

I’m going to use the excuse that its because of the 21st anniversary of my dad’s death yesterday, but I think the truth is much deeper than that.

Lately I’ve been searching for something …bigger than me.
Obviously it has something to do with my creativity, and when stunted, is when
Serious depression sets in.
Having thought things over,…a lot, I’ve come to the realization I need a partner in crime.
And that someone needs to be a person who has similar ambitions to me.
Now, she needs to be driven for success beyond here and now because you can have
Everything in this life, if you believe you deserve it.
Everyone may doubt you, everyone may say its impossible. But that should drive you.

I may have finally seen this in someone….truth me told, I always thought it was there, but circumstances forced us to separate for a few years, which in retrospect was the best thing as it allowed us to both grow and experience this world and all it has to offer, both good and more importantly, bad.

I recently met up with said person for drinks (or as I like to call it, Coffee or Diet Coke), and because of my hermit like ways, the hours leading up to this made me absolutely sick to my stomach. Nerves, self confidence issues, paranoia, you name it…now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t even a date or anything like that, it was just two old friends catching up. Why do people always make so much more of me meeting up with a girl in the evening than it actually is? I sometimes think they are so desperate for me to meet someone that they get their own hopes up only to be disappointed.

Anyways, where was I.

Yes, before I met up I went though the usual procedure of self loathing. When we met up there was instant ease…as it should be right? And other than me admitting to her I was far too fat to pull off wearing a waistcoat (which I prompted me to loosen all the buttons), everything felt natural.

We chatted for hours, share very similar views on life, the world, ambition and struggles. Never before had I spoken with such freedom to someone, and more importantly, never before had someone accepted and shared my views like this. It was intoxicating. I didn’t want it to end. EVER….dramatic I know…but that’s what I am…dramatic.

I asked her if she would like to come to New York with me, which she accepted…
Ive always said i want it to be someone who appreciates it as much as i will, and put in some sort of effort to make it happen, there are others i asked before, but they never really showed the enthusiams nor put in and sort of effort to make it happen, but the instant I knew it was the right choice was when she said “I think when I arrive in New York, the first thing I would do is….cry.”

That’s exactly what I will do.

I fell in Like with her that night…

Happy New Year…Let’s Make Some Memories?

January 5, 2011


I gave a hobo 3 grand this morning.

….it was the most selfish thing I’ve done in a while.

Why? Well because I wanted to give him R10 000….but the atm would had a limit of R3000, and I felt that was more than enough for my experiment.

You see I did it for my own reasons…I wanted to see if I was the kind of person who could do that. (yes I know he probably bought R3000 worth of liquor)

Having come into a lot of money recently (I earned it the hard way in truth), I have been testing myself lately. Would money mean more to me than it used to?

I have learned the value of money, having lost everything and not even being in a position to buy a can of cooldrink if I wanted to tends to teach you a very hard life lesson.

I’ve been ok financially this past year, except for the odd unexpected expense.

But after losing 4 of my 9 lives in 2010, the year ended with promise….or rather a promise to myself.

I want to do good things with my life. I want to do good things for people, because that’s what makes me happiest…BUT….people need to be deserving of this.

Some people might be thinking I have a God complex, and I guess they wouldn’t be wrong (the controversial part of me wants to say God has a Burg complex)…but I do things because I can.

Looking through my material positions, I have everything I want. Except – a collection of happiness. I don’t have pictures of me smiling. I don’t have pictures of me with friends, heck I hardly even have my memories from the amazing things I’ve done in my life anymore – we have the hijacking at gun point to thank for that. Because those criminals clearly needed my external hard drive of memories from the last 12 years stored on it, more than I did.

I started a contest last year to take someone to New York …flight and accommodation paid for. There were those that I thought would immediately deserve it…and those that I thought could earn it. However as soon as I stopped blabbing about it…people stopped making an effort to show me they deserved it. I was disappointed to say the least…I understood they had other more important things going on, sure. BUT it saddened me that I didn’t really have the closeness with someone I crave. Its nobodies fault but my own.

We can’t buy friendships and relationships, we build them. Which is something I clearly haven’t done…and let’s be honest I’m not about to start now.

That being said, the New York trip is still very much on (as may a surprise second trip to somewhere cool)…and I may in fact end up drawing a name out of a hat…like I did with the hobo maybe. Right place right time?

Back to the said money I won. I’ve done everything with it. Paid off any debts I had, splurged on my hobbies, invested in Art, saved, given money away, stocked the house with food, spoilt people etc. etc. etc…

There are goals to accomplish this year, which i will address in a later blog, but for now….

…let’s make some memories!

Dear New York…

November 22, 2010

Dear New York

Can you believe its been almost 13 years since we last saw each other?

So much has happened that I don’t even know where to start.

I wasn’t sure if I should write you again because at times I doubted you would even remember me.

I’m still in South Africa. Which is killing me (almost literally some days!), but I’m trying to work my way outta here. It’s proving difficult though, and there are more days of doubt than days of promise. I’d say I cry myself to sleep some nights, but I haven’t had a decent night of sleep in almost 8 years – I kid you not.

The last time I was over there, I visited you with my cousin Andre. Do you remember him? He unexpectedly took his own life several years ago. That crushed me. Andre was the one guy (other than myself), who like to share my accomplishments. He always praised me to family and friends. I miss his support and guidance so much. Especially after my dad and brother’s death so many years ago, Andre became the closest thing I had to a male role model. I don’t have that anymore, and there are days I feel completely lost with out it.

Work is tough at the moment. I’ve been at my current job for almost 5 years now – a lifetime I know! I’m not happy there anymore. I’ve lost faith in the people, and worst of all in my future there. I’ve done so much for them, and am still not taken seriously nor given the credit or recognition I deserve. I feel like they still see me as “the new guy” and forever will. My ambitions are so much greater than the company allows. They all see that place as a job, whereas I view it as a career. I always felt they would be my way to a greater future overseas, but it’s clear they will never help me get transferred to an overseas branch. Plus I just can’t survive on the salary they are paying me anymore.

Things are home are always tense. I still live with my mom. Most people laugh at that, and they don’t understand why I’m still here. Neither do I at times. The reality is she lost her job back in 2004 when I lost my job, and has since refused to work. I get angry with the continual burden I have to carry. I’ve spent the last six years here taking care of her, paying off debts, fixing the house (which seems to be never ending…) and feeding two people.

We play the hands we are dealt I guess…but it crushes my spirit. My life should have been so different at this point.

I’ve been watching everyone else live there lives. I see them falling in love, getting married, having children…and perhaps worst of all I see them visiting you. It seems like everyone else is living a life while I’m living a lie.

Gosh, this letter has been all about me…I’m sorry about that. How have YOU been?

I was sorry to year about your loss in 2001. I cried so much that day.
I wanted to write you, but didn’t know what to say…

Anyways, I know you’re busy, so I wont take up anymore of your time…Do you mind if I write you again soon?

Please know that I love you, and have thought about you every single day. I can still close my eyes and picture you, smell your perfume, and feel you against me.
Is that weird? Probably.

I’m so lonely here, and I know you’re the only one who gets that.

Love Always

Burg.

Stand up for Burg: 4 Months later – Hijacked and Trapped

November 5, 2010

What I remember the most about my hijacking just less than 4 months ago, was the concern everyone felt.

Are you ok? That’s unbelievable! You’re lucky!

What the whole event did for me was simply confirm what I have been feeling for many years.

I want out.

Out of (South) Africa.

I vocalized this in many ways, and stirred all sorts of emotions from people.

There were those that said what happened to me was because I was so negative about the country.

There were those that supported my feelings and tried turning it into a racial thing.

There were those that used what happen to me as a catalyst to get out of SA themselves.

Once the attention died down from the incident, everyone went on about their normal lives (as they should), but for me, every day has been harder than the next.

I have nightmares at least once a week. Sometimes about what happened, sometimes they are more abstract.

While the crime aspect of the country is a HUGE deal, it’s not my main motivation for wanting out.

My greatest fear is dying in this country – sure, but not through an act of crime. It’s from allowing the country to kill me because my dreams are far greater that the country allows them to be.

I am now at the point where I feel trapped by my own ambition.

A while back I made a comment on Facebook where I said I had put feelers out to New York.

A fact that was known to most everyone, and something I was always vocal about. However it was misunderstood to be I was unhappy in my job and wanted out. This put me into a serious doghouse which I’m still pretty certain I’m not out of yet.

I LOVE WHAT I DO.
I have one of the greatest jobs in the world (yes, except for Halle Berry’s lover.), but this is something I could and would want to do for a very long time.

My problem is, my life needs to begin.
For over 30 years my life has been filled with loss, heartache, pain, and struggle.
The memories and reminders of my life follow me around daily. From the roads I travel, to the place where I live. Add to this the surmounting problems in the country, and each day I am dying a little bit more.

I want to leave the country. But I don’t know how. Other than a transfer in my job, which nobody seems to take seriously, there are so few avenues for me to use.

Dramatic much? Sure. But this might have been a more casual conversation 10 years ago. But not at the age of 32.

I’ve seen two friends give it all up in the last 2 weeks, to follow that dream, and while I am so happy for them, I am so unequivocally jealous of them that I feel guilty.

But I don’t have the luxury of qualifying for certain visas and what not. I’m fighting the odds as I have always done.

It scares me. Sometimes to the point of where I just don’t believe its possible to make it happening.

Yes, New York is my first choice. But at this point I would be open to any sort of forward movement, whether it be London, Toronto, or even Vietnam.

Having nobody in my life (Ed’s note: Oh stop with the sob stories), this is the lonliest thing I have ever done, and that alone brings me to tears.

I don’t often ask people for anything (well, except for that one time I was poor), but if you can help…I urge you to:

Stand up for Burg.

The Golden Ticket Hunt is on!

October 14, 2010

Right, so this is the moment you have all been waiting for…

The Burgy Wonka’s Golden ticket hunt is officially on.

Below, is a cryptic list of the first 15 people to qualify for a trip to New York!

I have assessed many of you on different levels and will continue to do so over the next few months.

This list is not final, and you can easily fall off the list…and you can just as easily be added!

This is 100% serious, and as is as much fun for me as im sure it will be for you.

When the time is right, one of you will be asked if you would like to accompany me to NYC, flight and accomodation paid for! You will be given the choice to embark on the adventure of a life time.

Crack the very simple code and see if you’re in the running…..in no particular order are…

– 20,7
– 19,7
– 12,13
– 18,2
– 18,18
– 10,1
– 1,14
– 11,12
– 3,5
– 19,2
– 6,2
– 23,8
– 20,14
– 22,8
– 9,22

Have you made the list…?