Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

Live as The Burg. Die as The Burg

April 2, 2011

I’ve always been one to mind my own business. I tend to keep my head down when I walk…perhaps occasionally staring at a beautiful woman, but never ever have I been one to go up to someone and start a conversation.

However, for some reason (I have my theories), I’m ALWAYS the person someone else comes up to and engages in a debate.

If I go alone to a movie, concert, sporting event or other function, I’m the one who people turn and look at. Even in shopping centers people turn at stare. My mom always asks me why they do that, and I always just say they must think I’m famous.

Sometimes its understandable, to a point, because I’m wearing a sports team’s shirt which is the universal ice breaker. Or perhaps its a unique tshirt that attracts someone’s attention. If that happens, I suck it up and without being rude, engage in a brief conversation with whomever makes the approach.

Today however, I had to deal with an incident that happens far too often in my life.

You see, for a lack of a better term, I tend to have a unique appearance. I always have. Even in high school there was always something that brought attention to me…such as my slicked back hair…which earned me a nickname from the geniuses in the year ahead of me of “Slick”.

Till this day, each and everyday I always have a different hairstyle. I used to have a different colour every few months too.

I always wear something unique. Whether it be a bandanna, a hat, a trenchcoat, my legendary pant, a see through shirt, a white suit, a fake snake skin shirt. Whatever suits my mood.

One of the things I hate about this country, and I truly do, is that there is very much a close mindedness about individuality.

You can really dress us and walk down the high street, or go to the mall, or just dress good for dressing good sake.

There is always someone who will judge you or make a comment, or compare you to someone trending.

Years ago when I had corn rows in my hair, I was constantly called Beckham. Cos you know, that one time he came to South Africa, he had it done.

I went through a phase where I wore eyeliner and a smart shirt and tie. I was called one of The Parlotones.

Now, because I have a loooong beard I am constantly called Amla. This, for my international readers, is a reference to a national cricket player named Hashim Amla, who happens to have a long beard too, because he is Muslim.

In the last 2 weeks, I think I have been called this at least 8 times.

Today was by 2 drunken Afrikaans guys in a shopping center. Who started insulting me further because I gave them an unimpressed stare. (To be fair, my p*ssed off look is legendary, and has been featured in many films).

It just saddens me that people always feel compelled to mock and ridicule someone just because they themselves are not an individual.

I do believe if I lived in New York or London, I wouldn’t stand out as much, which makes me want to be there even more, just so I can be left alone.

I’ve dealt with it all my life, because I’ve never thought twice about trying something different. Sometimes its a popular choice, other times not, but I’ve always felt I’ve that a good head on ones shoulders and a pair of balls will go a long way.

If this means putting up with drunken concert goers throwing beer on me because I won’t humour them, mean kids who try and impress their friend by insulting me when they walk past, parents who judge me, and colleagues who feel the need to insult me to appear witty, then so be it.

Live as The Burg. Die as The Burg.

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Alone vs Lonely – A Burg’s Definition

March 21, 2011

One of the easiest ways to turn a conversation tense, is when I start discussing how lonely it is being alone, especially with a member of the female race.

Her definition of being alone is always girl-power centric. Perhaps a reflex defense mechanism to prevent me from asking her out, she is quick to state that she is so much happier being alone than having to explain her ways to some overprotective jealous boyfriend. Of course, within a couple of weeks she has found herself a new overprotective jealous boyfriend.

I’ve been alone most all of my life. I don’t say that as a sort of “woe is me” statement, but rather as a life fact. We’ve delved into my personal history enough of the last few months to prove this, and won’t go down that road today.

Having grown used to being alone, one adapts. Through the years, I’ve had to make do with being the only child (through circumstance), the one guy who doesn’t fit into a clique, and of course being a likeable guy with an amazing personality (read: too nice a guy to get into a relationship with).

What follows now, is my definitions of being alone vs being lonely.

Of course the internet, and now subsequently Social Networks have been a double edged sword when it comes to being alone and lonely, but hey, at least they’ve ironically brought you to this blog.

Shopping
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Being alone has its perks. For instance, it’s easy to go grocery shopping. You don’t need to squabble over different name brands when it comes to toothpaste, air freshener or butter vs margarine.

Being lonely however, results in a much higher monthly expense bill. Over the years, I’ve found myself buying things like dart boards, a pool table and board games, in the hope that just in case I do in fact have someone over who happens to know how to play any of these games.

Staying In

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Being alone is a great way to avoid smoky clubs, loud music and arguments over whether to rent Bridget Jones Diary, or buy the latest Steven Seagal movie on Bluray. Dinner is also a pleasure, because in being alone, a packet of Big Korn Bites does truly qualify as a meal.

Being lonely however results in way too many hands of Solitaire – with real cards. You tend to miss almost all of your shows on TV because of constant channel surfing. Friday night porn just becomes another show with way too many ads.

Going Out
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Being alone is a blessing when going to the cinema ie. Viewers choice! Going out for a meal, whilst somewhat sad, means that there is nobody to pick on your plate instead of eating what they ordered for themselves.

Being lonely makes going to the drive in somewhat pathetic. Going to a concert highlights the fact that you’re the only person out of 10,000 people who is not there with someone.

Work
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Being alone is productive. You get more work done that most of the other staff combined.

Being lonely is noticeable when you’re the only one who attended work Xmas parties alone, year after years, after year, after year. People tend to notice you are the only person who never gets private calls, not even on your mobile phone.

Online
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Being alone is great, as you don’t have to quickly close your laptop to prevent anyone from seeing what you’re watching online. You have full permission to instant message anyone of the opposite sex and you can shop alone till you’re credit card is finally rejected.

Being lonely online makes you come across as need, attention hungry and somewhat creepy. Fueling you with the desire to explain yourself in a blog of some sorts…

So…which one are you? Alone or Lonely?

I definitely started my life off as alone…but I’ve undoubtedly succumbed to being lonely.

Burgsworld: The Essential Collection – Part 1: Rants & Opinions

February 23, 2011

My original plan for my 100th blog was going to be a retrospect of my 10 favourite blogs over the last two years.

That failed to happen for a number of reasons, mainly that I couldn’t choose between so many important blogs, but the idea sorta evolved, and whilst I’m working on the draft for my book, I realized that my blogs could easily be used to tell my “story”.

What I’d like to share you now is a retrospective of what I’ve written, how the blogs came about, what the aftershocks were and a few other fun facts.

They are not in any sort of chronological order, but will be something that will benefit new readers to my blog who don’t know where to start, as well as those who maybe missed something, or would like to revisit a blog they last read ages ago.

This will be a three part retrospective piece broken into different “categories” for lack of a better term

I proudly present to you – Burgsworld: The Essential Collection.

Part 1: Rants & Opinions columns

You know what I Hate? (The 3rd in a series)

I’ve always had a phobia about public toilets, and a severe case of “stage fright”, combined it made a perfect entry into my You Know What I Hate Series.


You know what I hate…(the 2nd in a series)

Driving on our roads is dangerous enough, but through in our street vendors and you have a new entry into this series.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Am I gay? Or just a nice guy? Throw in a strip club story and I’ll tell you…

Did I ever tell you about…
Ever heard the same story one too many times? I have…

Me & My Mug – A Love Story
The blog that made me a global phenomenon, got featured on the WordPress homepage, and turning me into the third fastest growing blog on WordPress, Ladies and Gentlemen – the blog you want to be turned into a movie.

Movies Ruined My View On Life
I hate movies, but only because I love them.

10 Reasons I Hate Going to The Movie Theatre-Slash-Cinema
There are many reasons I avoid going to the cinema, but you only need to know 10.


Alexander Graham Bell Ruined My Life

I hate the telephone, and now you know why.

Five Rules To Surviving An Office Kitchen
Another one of those blogs that everyone can related to. Yet nobody seems to do anything about.

5 Reasons I hate South Africa & South Africans
This is the blog that almost turned me off writing forever. In fact no blog has stirred up as much emotion, hatred and debate as much as this piece, which is ironic as I still haven’t actually finished it. The comments continue on a daily basis.

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So that’s Part 1, What do you all think? Any favourites? Any blog you feel should be revisted or expanded upon?

Write is Right

August 26, 2009

You’d think by 2am on a Wednesday I’d be fast asleep, getting some much needed rest for the work day ahead… but nooooo, here I am watching Angie Dickinson on dvd in the 70s cop show, Police Woman, and writing blog after blog.

I really could write all day long these days…in fact I could wax lyrical about certain topics, but I fear I may end up saying some stuff I really shouldn’t, so I’m trying to keep everything breezy. You know, like Monica’s answering machine message to Richard.

The more I write, the more I want this to be what I do all the time.
I got such a nice pick me up this evening when I stumbled onto a forum that was discussing one of my blogs at large (The Man Crush). Several people chipped in with “this guy is hilarious!”, which is the best thing a writer like me can see.

I pride myself on being able to bring out a laugh no matter how serious or sad my content is. If you’ve lived through the things I have, you tend to go one of two ways. (I’ll let you guess which ways they are).
I’ve always done that…and I’ve always felt I’m one of the best at doing it.

As any good writer, I’m ridiculously critical of my writing, and in order to stay focused on writing something, sometimes it takes hours of staring at a blank document before ….*holy cr@p…Angie Dickinson is going undercover in women’s prison in this episode! Sweet!!!*

…..dammit…now where was I?

.

…….
……….
Ah, now I remember, sometimes takes hours of staring at a blank document before inspiration strikes and the exact right topic comes to mind.

I occasionally write stuff I don’t publish. They can be about irritations in my life, family, or even love revelations that I don’t want people to see.

When something feels right to be shared, I share it. Sometimes I choose the wrong things to share and feel the “wrath” of those who take offense to it. I’m ok with that, because at the end of the day just like my words are my opinion…so too are theirs.

One day, and one day soon I’m going to have to make a big decision about my writing and where I take it.

Scriptwriting.
Travel Writing
Opinion pieces
Fictional writing.
Song writing (?)
Journalism
critic
Blogger for hire
Poet

Plus there’s still that Tell all autobiography that gets a little thicker every day…

Yeah… why not do all of those.

I’m so glad I’m a writer-slash-model and not the other way around.

Here’s a quick poll question….which of the above styles of writing do you enjoy most from me? And what would you like to see me try?