Posts Tagged ‘Romance’

BurgStrong: a campaign of love

June 7, 2014

Hi guys,

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, but with good reason.
The last 6-8 months have been the most insane time of my life.

I couldn’t possible explain what I’ve been through, but if you’ve been following details on my official writers page over on Facebook, you may have an idea.

The reason I’m back though, is because I need your help to tell the next chapter in my life, and help me find a way to the love of my life.

I’m working on getting to her permanently, but for now, I just need the chance to spend some time with her.

I’d like to share my story with you though, and ask if you believe in love to try make a small contribution to my below campaign. If not, please at least try spread the news to your friends, colleagues and fellow bloggers..

The story will break your heart, but also make you believe in love again, and if that’s not with sharing, then what is right?

Thanks everyone

Burg

Cut From The Heart: Episode 9 – The Call Centre Girl in the Heels and The Black Dress

November 21, 2013

Well, this is it…my final deleted story from my upcoming book. And to be fair, this was a very hard decision to cut from the stories. I really battled with the decision, because I felt when compared to the other stories, it really felt like it held up strong enough to form part of my story. But in the end one more needed to be cut, and this unfortunately got eliminated.

So here is:

Bonus Story # 9 – The Call Centre Girl in The Heels and Black Dress
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The story has become a bit of a running joke between a friend and I because it’s one of those that probably made sense to begin with, and just as fittingly had an equally nonsensical ending to it.

My book details my career quite well, but for the purpose of this story, what important to know is in 2004 I made the break from the IT industry into the entertainment industry. However, I made an unexpected return to the IT industry in January of 2005.

It lasted all of a month, before I suddenly quit to take up a dream job writing for a well-known magazine.  That month was a very low point for me mentally as I felt I had failed in my quest to change my life around.

Being back in the call centre was different this time round. I didn’t really bond with anyone,  even though I was good at the job I had zero interest in doing it.

There was one perk however…there was a cute Indian girl who worked there who I was attracted to.  She came to visit our section quite often, and because of low self-confidence, I was never able to really be my charming self (and we know what a huge success rate I have when I’m confident).

I remember one lunch time sitting outside with the younger guys and they were talking about the girls in the office. One guy spoke about the girl I liked and began to list the problems with skinny girls, which mostly related to uncomfortable sexual position.  What am I doing here with these idiots I thought to myself.

When the job with the magazine came up, I was told I had the job…if I could literally start the next day. I explained the situation to my manager (who was my friend as well, so that made me feel extremely guilty), but he understood it was a dream job for me.

However, I had to work in my months’ notice. Which, I did. So for a month I worked the graveyard shift at the call centre, went home to freshen up, and then raced to try and make it to my new job on time.

Part of my role there, was to cover industry events during the day and evening.

So effectively, my schedule was, work 9-5, cover events in the evening, go work the graveyard shift, home for about an hour and then repeat.

Of course, this meant I didn’t get to see the girl who I liked. However, I managed to get her number and we began texting each other.

There seemed to be some sort of interest from her side, which gave me a bit of hope. So when an awards function came up, (The Channel O African Music Awards), I thought this was the perfect opportunity to ask her out.

Much to my surprise (and absolute fear) she said yes.

The night of the awards came up, and I went to go and fetch her, ironically from the same building I was working just a few weeks prior to that. When I picked her up, we ran into my friend who just laughed when he saw us together.  (I know right, what is it with friends laughing at me when I fetch a girl?)

I drove her home so she could get ready for the evening (it was a bit of a glam do, so she wanted to put in the effort, which I really appreciated).

As I waited for her in the living room, I found myself surround by a rather large Indian family and an even larger awkward silence. I sat there in my long black jacket looking as uncomfortable as this all sounds.

She eventually came out to rescue me, and she looked amazing in her heels and elegant black dress.

Thankfully the conversation seemed to come easy, and we got to know each other quite a bit and she found my jokes to be rather entertaining. I even braved holding her hand as we made our way to through the social scene. And for me, there is nothing better than holding a pretty girls hand. For me it’s about the simple things in life, and if I’m being honest. It’s the one thing that hurts me even today – that I don’t have someone to even hold hands with.  Every day when I see couples holding hands, I feel a great sense of sadness and loneliness overwhelms me. This happens at least once a day.

The evening went so well, that I couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement for the potential of where it could go.

I made a seemingly good impression, and having some of my musician friends come up and greet me and my date just added to good impression.

She even got a goodie bag. I took her home and we hugged and kissed goodbye (relax guys, just a peck)

Now that’s a date I thought.

The next day I texted her to say thanks for the good evening and we should do it again. She agreed.

Then…suddenly…she began to avoid me.  Invites to other outings went unanswered. Not even as much as “sorry I’m busy”.

This is where the awkwardness began. Without reasoning, how does one know when to stop making a fool of one’s self.

Eventually I just stopped messaging her, as it seemed like that’s what she wanted.

Then about year later, I mailed out a joke wedding invite to a bunch of select people, one of which was her, (yup, THAT story is covered in my book), and she replied with the friendliest email in the world asking me how I am and we must catch up sometime.

So I replied with sure, let’s do lunch. Which she replied yes to, and we ended up setting up a lunch date at a place just outside her work so that she wouldn’t have to go too far.

The lunch went surprisingly well, and just like that night a few years ago we got along great. I thought well, maybe we just needed a second chance at this.
Until of course, I said we should do this again. Then she said but I thought you were in a relationship now (don’t worry, I laughed just as much as you are laughing right now).  I said, no, I am as single as I have always been.

She avoided me since that lunch ended. Once again with no explanation.  I had twice made a complete fool of myself, without even realizing it.

I’m not sure what she’s up to these days, but I seem to remember seeing a while back she had a kid since then.  My friend and I often try to understand what exactly happened with her, but it’s just another one of those stories that hurt to try and figure out.

Mmm…I wonder if she’s free for dinner this weekend

Cut From The Heart: Episode 8 – The Gamecube Girl & Excessive Blood Loss

November 20, 2013

During my call centre days, most of my social outings were with colleagues as we were all quite close. So things like movies, or dinners or parties would involve a lot of familiar work faces.

That’s probably the only thing I miss from that period of my life, so social aspect of it.

One such time was:

Bonus Story #8 – The Gamecube Girl

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Back in 2002, a bunch of us decided to go to the launch of the Gamecube gaming console which had an event at one of the local malls.

Since my tattoo artist happened to be in the same centre, I decided to get go get my second ever tattoo that morning and then spend some time with my mates playing games.

When we arrived, we all met up and decided how the day was going to unfold. What I wasn’t planning on, was the hot promo girls that were working the booths.

One in particular caught my eye, her name was Lorna (of course, I didn’t know this at the time, but my epic research skills would figure this out later).

Suddenly I was second guessing spending time getting a tattoo, while all the other guys got a head start with her in the queue.

But since  I had an appointment I didn’t wanna be the guy who didn’t pitch for a booked time. So I went to get my tattoo. It was to be a Roman numeral five on the back of my leg.

I took my rough design to the tattoo artist and gave told him to work his magic in magic it look good. However…things didn’t quite go as planned.

The tattoo artist was going through a divorce, and during my entire session he kept taking breaks to argue with his soon to be ex-wife on his mobile phone. It was probably the most uncomfortable tattoo session I’ve ever had. And the worst part was because of the placement of the tattoo, I spent about 90min standing on one leg.

Eventually the guy wrapped up the tattoo. And said he was done. As it was behind me, I couldn’t clearly see it, but trusted he took my rough sketch and at least added a bit of artist’s discretion to it. (He didn’t by the way…he literally inked it on as the rough sketch it was.)

At the time however, I was more concerned about getting back to the gaming expo to try my luck with the promo girl

When got back to my friends, they all asked to see my tattoo, and I’ll never forget as one guy said “dude, is it supposed to be bleeding so much?”

When I looked down, I could see the blood seeping through my tracksuit pants.

Anyways so began the 2o minute queuing sessions just so we could play 2 minutes of video games , of course these 2 minute session for me where about trying to win over the promo girl.

Each time we queued I was getting dizzier and dizzier as I continued to lose blood.

Finally my mates had said they’d had enough and were calling it a day. Pale as a ghost from the blood loss,  I tried to encourage them for one more round.

They didn’t stay.

So with no wingmen left, I called it day too. Disappointed in my effort.

2 weeks later however, I saw an advert saying the Gamecube expo was going to be at another shopping centre.

I managed to convince my friend Jared to come with me, and we headed out to Pretoria that week.

She was there!

But I think this time she avoided me a little more. I ironically ended up chatting more to her friends than to her, one of which was a former kid’s TV show host who ended up dating a friend of mine for a while.

I spent the next few weeks trying to make contact with her, eventually figuring out her email address and casually mailing her.

She showed no interest and the whole thing eventually died out rather quickly.

Every now and again I go see what she’s up to on Facebook.  As of last check, it seems like she’s living a happy life in London with her long term boyfriend.

However, every time I see the giant V on the back of my leg, I can’t help but to think back to her and that day I wouldn’t let a little excessive bleeding stop me from getting to know a girl.

I also found a new tattoo artist after that.

 

Cut From The Heart: Episode 3 – The Cute Neighbour and The Weakest Link

November 15, 2013

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Ask any of my friends, I’m not really the party type; I very rarely go to gatherings or celebrations. It’s just something I don’t feel comfortable doing anymore.

Back in the day however, I made the odd appearance at a braai (bbq) or birthday gathering, and this was one such occasion.

The year was 2003. I went to a friend’s birthday celebration, not really expecting to have a good time, even though he was the closest thing I had to a best friend, and I knew a lot of his friends, there was a always a chance I would make an excuse and leave early.

However to my surprise I ended up having a good type pretty quickly and that was probably mostly due to the fact that I hit it off with his girlfriend’s neighbour. She was cute, fun and extremely young, yes three things I look for in a girl.

We chatted the whole time, and boy was I smooth, I even walked her home in the evening (yes next door, but still), and managed to get her number.

I felt like the heavens opened up pumped my fists, and rejoiced, exclaiming “I got a number!!!”

That night we texted each other and quickly began flirting with each other. I put on a pair of balls and asked her out. To the movies, it was anything too hectic, but a nice way of spending time together. To me, nothing beats an old school dinner and a movie.

The week after the braai, I drove out to fetch her, and of course as I arrived, my friend was leaving his girlfriend’s house, he just laughed that laugh of his that pretty much says “busted!”

She invited me in to meet her parents, and her sister, and boy was it awkward, the parents barely responded to anything I said, even my jokes, which were HIGHlarious were met with zombie like responses. They just spend their time staring at the movie that was playing on the TCM channel. I tried to make conversation about my knowledge of movies, but still no response. In retrospect, they may have been wax models of the real people.

Thankfully we didn’t stay too long. We headed out to the mall, and I gave her the choice of what movie she wanted to see, she wanted to watch Freddy vs Jason…(a girl picking a horror movie is normally a good sign, but all i could think of was – dammnit…I’ve already seen that).

The movie passed far too quickly, but we inevitably began holding hands during the movie, and she didn’t let go for the rest of the night. This of course made going to the bathroom a bit awkward.

I didn’t plan on making a move further than perhaps a goodnight kiss, but when we were driving home, I mentioned that I was going to be a contestant an episode of The Weakest Link the next day, so I couldn’t be out too late.

Just before we got to her house, she said to me, “Can I wish you luck for tomorrow?” of course I wasn’t going to turn that down.

We parked on the side of the road a few blocks from her house and began to make out. It was very natural and very appealing, and then she undid her bra, allowing me to put my magic hands to work. Her hands made their way to my gear stick, and then she realized she had the wrong gear stick and proceeded to go for my other gear stick.

It was what we call a good session. We didn’t go too far but far enough to know there was an attraction.

I dropped her off and said good night, and we texted each other for the rest of the night.

The next day I filmed my episode of The Weakest Link, and the host asked me a question of “Shaun, I believe you’re single…why is that?”, I had the perfect response of “Well after last night maybe not, I had a date, a good date”…we all laughed, and I thought man, when that airs on TV it’s going to be a zinger.

The next day I texted the girl, and she didn’t reply, i tried again several times, and she eventually started replying with short sentences, finally saying we can’t see each other anymore.

Ergh…here we go again, I thought. She sorta eluded to the fact that her parents didn’t like me, which might have been true, I’ll never actually know. She was young, and maybe that played a factor. There was never a clear reason given

For me though, it was just another unsolved mystery. I think she is now living in the UK, but I often wonder about her. Of course, when that episode of The Weakest Link aired…well that just hurt even more.

For the record, I went out in the third round.

Cut From The Heart: Episode 2 – The Knife Store Girl & The Magic 8 Ball

November 14, 2013

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I’ve always lived my life by the rule of random, or at least when it comes to meeting people I take a fancy to. And I know what you’re thinking…

“That’s just silly! Who still uses the word fancy!?”

And you’re right, it’s these sorts of old school words and mentality that make dating that little bit harder for me. However, there is just something wonderful about someone catching your eye and evoking the romantic in ones self.

One of the prime examples of this was…

Bonus Story #2: The Knife Store Girl

During one of my more sociable years circa 2002 I was actually spending a lot of time hanging out with friends, engaging in hobbies and actually enjoying the happenstance of life.

I had a very good friend that I did most everything with named Jared. Jared had somehow convinced me to take up kickboxing. Which is one of the things I still miss to this day. The class was quite varied and included a much younger crew as well, and therein lay another story I will share with you later down the line.

Jared and I shared a lot of common experiences when it came to women, so we always encouraged each other. Being the nice guys in the friends zone is slightly easier when there is a buddy waiting for you there.

One of our many outings involved a trip to an armory store in one of the major shopping centres called Sandton City. I tagged along with Jared and another friend as they were looking for some collectors knifes. As guys do I assume.

As we browsed through the display cases of weapons, the guys oohed and aahed as they perused through the vast selection of items designed to cut someone’s heart out.

Me on the other hand saw something just as effective to do that. The blonde who was working behind the counter at the ammo section.

Now yes, I’ve often said how blondes are not my thing, so maybe it was the allure of a guns and ammo type of girl that somehow made her appealing to me. Or perhaps I was simply envisioning what she may look like in a bikini firing a bazooka. I guess we will never know.

To my own credit, I am very good at spontaneous small talk and making people laugh, so it was easy to start a conversation with her.

Now if I remember correctly, we had actually ordered boxing gloves from the store for our kickboxing class, which meant we would have to come back to collect them the next week. Awesome! A second date!

When we returned a week later she wasn’t there, and I found myself feeling somewhat stood up, which led to a number of ridiculous, yet not unexpected, decisions.

I made numerous casual trips back to the mall over the next few days (riding out more fuel than I could afford as the shopping centre wasn’t exactly close) till eventually I bumped into her again.

This time, I actually had the guts to ask her out. Of course she said no, saying that she didn’t know anything about me. (Presumedly going out with someone is the WORST way to find out about them? Discuss).

Of course, that type of comment to me is like a red flag to a bull and it became my mission to let her know as much about me as possible.

So dejected, but inspired, I went home that evening and put together a list of 101 facts about myself. When I had finished, I read through the list with pride. It was funny, honest, emotional and pretty much exactly how I am in real life. This was a sure fire winner! No girl could resist giving a guy with these credentials a chance.

The next day, I made my way back to the store and lo and behold, she wasn’t there. Thankfully, she was just at lunch however and instead of waiting, I said I would just come back later. As I waited aimlessly in the shopping centre, I literally bumped into her in the food court. She was talking to some muscle bound guy who she introduced to me, he worked in another store in the centre. I grumbled something that probably sounded nothing like “nice to meet you”, and proceeded to give her the list, explaining that if she still didn’t want to give me a chance after that, then I’d stop, but if she did my contact details were written down. Of course, douchebag jones stood there with us the entire time. She replied with an awkward ok and took the letter. Which I’m not sure if she even ever read.

Days went by and I never heard a thing from her. The usual foolish panic of “did I write the correct phone number” started to go through my head as I stubbornly tried to justify that I still had a chance here.

Then came one of my now infamous ideas. The magic 8 ball idea.

The new plan was to go see her one more time, and let her ask the magic 8 ball if she should go out with me. It was charming and purely dependent on fate.

Jared and I spent the next weekend scouring shops for a magic 8 ball which proved to be impossible. So I gave up in the idea.

Then, the Tuesday evening after that – during our kickboxing training session, the 8 ball idea came up in conversation and one of the people in the class said she had one. Suddenly the idea was back on. I literally made her go home and fetch it.

As we sat waiting for her to return with the ball in the parking lot, I couldn’t help but be excited.
Best. Idea. Ever.

That next weekend, we set out one last time to win this girl’s heart.
Excited about my brilliant idea, I had all the confidence in the world.

When we got to the store she was busy, so we had to wait to see her. Tick tock, tick tock.
While we were waiting, douchebag jones suddenly arrived. And she told me that he was her boyfriend. It clearly wasn’t, but she had obviously called the guy to come pretend they were together so I would leave her alone. Ouch.

I never even got to unleash my magic 8 ball idea on her. I just walked out as the guy who finally got the hint. Double ouch.

As life would have it. I now work in that same shopping centre and walk past that store every day. Triple ouch.

Hey some guys collect knifes, I collect fragments of my broken heart.

Ps. I also now own two magic 8 balls, and became well known for it on a segment on a tv show I hosted where viewers would send in their questions for the ball to answer.

There is a funny irony to my life sometimes.

Vote for the title of my upcoming book!

November 10, 2013

Hi guys

I’ve finally narrowed down the choice of my book title to the final 5. But I need your help!
Please visit http://www.facebook.com/ShaunMyburgWrites and vote for your favorite!

As always thanks for the support
Burg

You Look Familiar…Have We Met Before?

September 26, 2012

I’m a rambling man. For the most part at least, but those ramblings often stem from a very linear train of thought, that is, until the train totally derails and I begin to over think things.

For the last week my mind has been focusing on one thing, or rather one person. It hasn’t been an obsessive sort of thinking though, which is a relief for a change. Instead, it’s been a more of growing thought. A seed if you will.

You see, this person I’m thinking of, our friendship is pretty black and white at face value. It’s just two people who get along, have a lot of similar interests and have similar views on the world. However, there is something else there…something lingering -something that existed before we even met. An intangible.

There is no possible way I could explain it without sounding like a nutcase, so I won’t even try and convince you. What I will do, is just write what I feel to be true to me.

We were meant to meet. And for all the talk of if only we had met a few years ago, the truth of the matter is, we probably did. Except it wasn’t a few years ago, it was slightly longer than that. I feel we have known each other from before we existed. I’ve always had the overwhelming feeling of not belonging, in this time, on this planet, in this life. It’s a nonsensical thought, which I don’t much preach about, but I know it to be true. This life I lead now feels like its making amends for some horrible existence I previously lead. I accepted that a long time ago. Perhaps in my next journey I will find peace and happiness and love. It certainly does not seem my path in this lifetime. It’s a crazy notion, I know.

People always talk about how I will meet the “right one” when I’m ready, or when it’s meant to be. But nobody ever entertains the thought of maybe I did already meet the right one.

Maybe…I met the one in a previous life, and we were perfectly happy, in time of romance, we did not know an ounce of sadness (and I was probably a little bit taller with the abs of a Greek warrior). And then we got ripped apart. Now, in another time, another space, we have met again. However, this time we are not allowed to be together. For whatever reasons may exist in this world.

Perhaps she may now be with the one who seemed a perfect fit. But what is the perfect fit? Is it someone who ticks all the boxes? What if there were more check boxes on the second page you never looked at? Someone who is even more of a fit, but because you settled, you never even knew there was a page two to look at.

Does one fight to restore the balance? Fight for a second chance at happiness? Does one walk away knowing that this lifetime it’s not meant to be…Does one move on to someone else? (because we know my life is filled with women who are interested in me right?)

These are all just thoughts. I obviously cannot prove a single element of this, nor should I need to.

My heart and soul are not always in sync with my brain, which leads to being misunderstood, and alone for the most part. … There are times I think I’m just that lonely that I constantly try and look for reasoning behind my heart ache. The other day, a friend mailed me and said she had a dream that I was had a blonde girlfriend and I was happy and that she hoped it was a sign of something to come. My immediate response was “hopefully that was a wig”.

People will laugh at this blog, I’m sure, perhaps even try and force me to rationalize it, which is fine. I get that it’s near impossible for you to believe. In the end, life goes on, till the next one at least.

It’s The Way…

June 6, 2012

It’s the way it feels when you say hello and good morning
It’s the way your emoticons are always yawning

It’s the way you look when you wear a dress
It’s the way you fold your scarf, never in a mess

It’s the way you put one finger on your lip when you’re concentrating on reading
It’s the way you lean to the left when with a pen you are writing

It’s the way you hold your sleeves in your hands
It’s the way your hair falls on your face, just the way it lands

It’s the way your jersey falls off your shoulders, the most attractive sight in the world.
It’s the way you are so unassuming, but never overly bold

It’s the way you shuffle when you’re in a hurry,
It’s the way its not a run, but more of a scurry

It’s the way you secretly love reggae
It’s the way you say the word honey, (a word I generally hate hey)

It’s the way your knife and fork clink against the plate when you’re eating
It’s the way you feel about going into a meeting

It’s the way you laugh when telling a story 
It’s the way you could never bore me

It’s the way it feels when you high 5 me
It’s the way it feels when you hug me

It’s the way it feels when we talk
It’s the way it feels when we don’t talk

It’s the way it feels when you walk away,
It’s the way it feels when you say goodbye or leave for the day

It’s the way my heart feels about pretending
It’s the way this list could never have an ending…

100,000 Views on Love: My Own Greek Tragedy

May 22, 2012

It’s been a strange 7+ days for me…in fact my emotions have been off the chart for a variety of reasons, so I find myself wondering how much has actually been real and what’s been a result of my silly little self imposed head games.

Those around me, and I guess to a point, complete strangers, have been subject to the “new me”, with dare I say it, spectacular results.

I have provided moments of pure happiness for a variety of people for a variety of reasons, by simply being unselfish.

I’ve also found myself drawing out a lot of kindred spirits out the wood works and as a result, meeting new people who I actually like!

Therein I guess lay the problem…

You see, as much this new found confidence and way of viewing the world has shaped me into the best version of myself I have been in many a year, if not ever, I find myself tripping up over the same stumbling blocks that I’ve always had a problem with. New me…same result. There is a saying about what defines crazy that seems rather apt right about now.

Let me explain a bit…

If you’re a long time reader, you’ve loyally followed my luckless adventures in love and matters of the heart, and probably accidentally or on purpose used one of my many hated cliches on love, destiny etc.

I also mentioned in a previous blog about an unrequited love I had come across…

Then we also have a few unexpected surprises that crossed my path in the last few weeks.

Add all these elements together and you have the making a typical Burg heartbreak blog…with my emotions being pulled all over the place.

Let’s examine the players in this Greek tragedy of mine…and ask some rhetorical questions about what the next steps are.

In no particular order…

Player one is someone I met last week during my whirlwind trip to Durban. While I was waiting outside a conference hall for my seminar to start, this beautiful girl and I made eye contact and exchanged a smile. The old would of just watched her from afar, never having the courage to walk up to her and engage in conversation. The new me however walked up to her and started a conversation. I immediately felt there was something special about her. After the conference I asked her to coffee later in the day where we met up again and used the little time we had to get to know each other. The day ended with a hug. It was just one of those moments at will stay with me forever, I may never see her again, but boy do I hope we do..there is something there…something special. Every time I close my eyes I see her smile…and these eyes that just sparkle…STATUS: Taken

Player two is an interesting choice. She actually someone I noticed on my very first day at my new job, because she was the only person who smiled at me when I was introduced to everyone. It took us a good while to eventually start talking, however I soon realized my instincts about her were right. We had a lot of similar issues and she found it easy to talk to me about problems. I have that effect on people. They find they can open up and share things with me they can’t tell anyone else. I don’t mind being there for her in the slightest. Lately however we have begun flirting each other. All very innocent, and as she’s currently involved, I doubt it will go much further than that. I admit, I think we both like the attention and just enjoy it for what it is. Sometimes it hurts that it is so fleeting, and its not the type of relationship I have with someone else…but for now we just enjoy each others time. STATUS: Taken

Player three just has such a special place in my heart. It’s one of those situations where in a different time and place I could totally see myself with her. I think we both have so much love in our hearts that if our paths had crossed before she was so deep into a relationship, I would of liked to think we could have been something special too. I look at her with such admiration at the lengths she is going to for her love, and think how lucky that guy is. To find a love like that is rare, I know because I am like that with how far I would go. I’ve been so fortunate to spend some time with her away from our daily routine, and I am just so damn lucky to have the bond with her that I do. Its one of those “if only” friendships. STATUS: Taken

Player four is a girl who caught me by surprise, that being said, I knew we had bonded from our very first conversation…as I said, I’ve been drawing out kindred spirits, and this particular lady is definitely such. We are in the early stages of understanding how the other works…but she is definitely intriguing me. There are what other may call obstacles, but to me they are nothing that frighten me away. I am after all, “the moments guy”, and quite honestly whatever happens, happens. We won’t see each other very often, but I think when we do, there will always be something special between us. STATUS: Unknown

Yup. Player five.
I’ve saved the most important one for last. However, it’s the most heartbreaking of them all.

Firstly, I’m man enough to admit it. I have fallen in love, and unfortunately as always, with someone who doesn’t feel anything for me. At first I thought it was just another schoolboy crush, and maybe I just hoped it was. I listen to everyone’s advice about how I should approach the situation. For every person telling me to just tell her how I felt, I had someone telling me to be a complete @sshole around her, because women never go for the nice guy. For every person telling me to make sure I’m clear I don’t want to be her friend, I want to be more, I had someone telling me to be her friend first.

At the end of the day I am me. You either love me for that, or you don’t, she unfortunately doesn’t.

I wondered to myself, I’ve changed so much, and yet this version of who I am is still not enough. Then the self confidence issues start to fill your head…I’m too short, I’m too fat, I’m not sociable enough. I don’t drink. Whatever. It’s a total mind game with myself.

Then I think well if she just spent time with me away from the office she would see the real me.

She is dealing with her own issues too, and I feel so selfish about feeling the way I do. I’m there for her 100%, always will be, but my greatest fear is that while I’m there, some tall, successful, square jawed bad boy will just sweep in and take her. Because that’s what always happens. Heck when I hear conversations about her and other guys my heart breaks into a million pieces, and I just stand there nodding and pretending to smile about how awesome said guy would be for her.

After thinking long and hard about, the only “solution” here is for me to walk away. My heart yearns too much for her, and while I would be prepared to wait as long as it takes for her….I know I would spend he next 5 years trying to convince her of why I am the guy for her, and miss out on the world around me. I’ve been down that road before.

Just touching her hand energized me, and a hug here and there leaves me with a smile on my face for days. People have started to notice how I am around her, and sometimes I feel embarrassed for her…because I always try and treat her like the treasure that she is.

So that’s what I need to do….walk away, give her space to sort her life out…and settle for a friendship.

…….
……………………
……………………………………..
…………………………………………………..

No.
You know what…not this time.
I’m going to give everything I’ve got….
I’m going to fight for this girl….I deserve someone like her, and dammit she deserves someone like me.

The timing may not be right, and we both have our own lives to sort out, she may meet 100 guys between now and then, but there will be a then and I will not give up on her.

I’m going to enjoy my life for now, for those who come in and out of my life, and above all, I am going to live for those damn moments. We meet people at the exact time we are supposed to, and I’d like to believe this has started a string of events that will one day lead us to each other.

Kind regards
Love’s #1 Bitch

P.S….who is player 6?….dun dun dun

20 Things I Find Sexy

February 16, 2012

My last few blogs have been pretty darn serious, and thought now might be a good time to get back to the fun element of this blog.

It’s no secret it doesn’t take much to turn a guy on, and any guy who says otherwise is lying. However, we all have our favourite things we look out for, whether it be on a woman or guy. I don’t judge as we know. Maybe for some people it’s something someone does, or what they wear, heck it could even be something they say right?

Here’s my list of things that I find sexy, use it, don’t use it.

1. A pair of legs on a woman. DEAD SEXY. Of course I understand women can’t all have legs like Stacey Keibler, but I will always notice a legs on a woman first.

2. Dark Hair. On her head only of course….well, I can make exceptions.

3. Dark skin. Olive skinned woman or nicely toned Indian, South American women will forever be my weakness, of course this combined with the above Dark Hair = perfection.

4. Water. For some reason I find this the sexiest of all the elements. Taking a bath or shower with someone, getting caught in the rain, even a women drenched like a rat has a certain appeal. Anyone made love in water? I only know what I learned watching ShowGirls.

5. Tattoos on a woman. Kill me, kill me know. A bigger arm/shoulder tattoo is a bell ringer for me. Love that! Not so mad about tramp stamps and tribals though…so be warned, even I have boundries.

6. Athletic or sporty women are a big YES when it comes to sex appeal. As long as they are not the Serena Williams type, then I’m all for it. I like a girl who doesn’t play sports like a girly girl. And girl who supports my love of sports is a close second.

7. Pop Culture Geek. Love comics, movies, TV and such? well if you can hold a conversation about Zombies and know who the Green Arrow is, then its kismet.

8. Older women. Within reason.

9. Younger women. Within reason.

10. Girls who wear earphones. When someone walks past me or stands next to me in a lift wearing earphones, I can’t help but to watch them. Mouthing the words, or a slight reserved sway to the beat is sexy as hell.

11. Stripper Boots. Its a guy thing.

12. Bridges. Not sure where this came from, maybe its a movie thing, but walking on a bridge with a girl has such a peaceful element of sexy to it.

13. Holding hands. Especially on bridges. I find the simple act of holding hands sexy. The best way to test if there is electricity between two people.

14. Girl carrying coffee, like from a coffee place. Again, it could be a movie thing; it could be a New York thing, but it’s cetainly my thang.

15. School Uniform. Some people have the Princess Leia fantasy, or the nurse fantasy, but the uniform does it for me. You know what I love about school girls? I get older, they stay the same age. Yes they do, yes they do.

16. Class. Even to the point of being a snob. I find a classy woman the sexiest thing on earth. Cate Blanchett fits this mould nicely.

17. Accents. I think this is perhaps a more common one. Spanish/French/Italian/Australian/British all work for me. Even if it’s a fake one.

18. Shoulders. Like legs, a good pair of shoulder, and a woman who isn’t afraid to show them off is a sure thing.

19. Girls who wear t-shirts featuring rock bands from the 70s or 80s… and can actually name all the members in the band.

20. Other people’s wives.

What do you have on your list?