I Fell in Like Last Week…

It’s been a strange ol time these last few weeks. I really have had more downs than ups. Now, I’m not one to complain, *cue audience laughter* , but I really have been in a ridiculous funk.

I’m going to use the excuse that its because of the 21st anniversary of my dad’s death yesterday, but I think the truth is much deeper than that.

Lately I’ve been searching for something …bigger than me.
Obviously it has something to do with my creativity, and when stunted, is when
Serious depression sets in.
Having thought things over,…a lot, I’ve come to the realization I need a partner in crime.
And that someone needs to be a person who has similar ambitions to me.
Now, she needs to be driven for success beyond here and now because you can have
Everything in this life, if you believe you deserve it.
Everyone may doubt you, everyone may say its impossible. But that should drive you.

I may have finally seen this in someone….truth me told, I always thought it was there, but circumstances forced us to separate for a few years, which in retrospect was the best thing as it allowed us to both grow and experience this world and all it has to offer, both good and more importantly, bad.

I recently met up with said person for drinks (or as I like to call it, Coffee or Diet Coke), and because of my hermit like ways, the hours leading up to this made me absolutely sick to my stomach. Nerves, self confidence issues, paranoia, you name it…now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t even a date or anything like that, it was just two old friends catching up. Why do people always make so much more of me meeting up with a girl in the evening than it actually is? I sometimes think they are so desperate for me to meet someone that they get their own hopes up only to be disappointed.

Anyways, where was I.

Yes, before I met up I went though the usual procedure of self loathing. When we met up there was instant ease…as it should be right? And other than me admitting to her I was far too fat to pull off wearing a waistcoat (which I prompted me to loosen all the buttons), everything felt natural.

We chatted for hours, share very similar views on life, the world, ambition and struggles. Never before had I spoken with such freedom to someone, and more importantly, never before had someone accepted and shared my views like this. It was intoxicating. I didn’t want it to end. EVER….dramatic I know…but that’s what I am…dramatic.

I asked her if she would like to come to New York with me, which she accepted…
Ive always said i want it to be someone who appreciates it as much as i will, and put in some sort of effort to make it happen, there are others i asked before, but they never really showed the enthusiams nor put in and sort of effort to make it happen, but the instant I knew it was the right choice was when she said “I think when I arrive in New York, the first thing I would do is….cry.”

That’s exactly what I will do.

I fell in Like with her that night…

Tags: coffee, Friends, life, love, New York, relationships, travel